High Kicks and Chill

November 16, 2018:

Guy thinks he's going on a date with Black Widow, who thinks she's protecting someone important. Batroc the Leaper takes advantage of the confusion he's sown.

Tribeca, NYC

Flanagan's, a hipster-y dive bar.

Characters

NPCs: Batroc the Leaper

Mentions:

Plot:

Mood Music: [*\# None.]


Fade In…

"Left. Left. Left. Ugh. Left. Le—what the?!"

Guy Gardner nearly spits out his Schlitz as his idle swiping on the dating app nearly costs him a potential connection with one of the most gorgeous women he'd ever seen a photo of. Guy swiped right so hard he nearly cracked the screen of his phone.

Only a few minutes later, he got a message with a time and date to meet - Flanagan's, a hipster-dive bar in Tribeca.

"Done and friggin' /done/," Guy says with a grin. "Time to go get a new bottle of Axe for the occasion."

Elsewhere, a message reaches one of Agent Romanoff's inbox via secure, although anonymous, channel. Its content: a mission to extract a man identified as Mark Zuckerberg's cousin Guy from imminent danger and remove him to a safehouse.

The pass-phrases accompanying the message are nearing their expiration, and the syntax of the message indicates a non-native speaker, but it all technically seems above board. Technically.

An hour after his message is received, Guy Gardner is dressed in a polo shirt with a popped collar, leaning on the bar top at Flanagan's, scanning the room and the door for his dream girl.

As it happened, Agent Romanoff was already in her car when the message beeped her phone which in-turn beeped the speakers in her car. An A.I. voice gave her the rundown on the message's content and she glanced at the dashboard monitor to see additional info on it.

For a second Natasha had a confused look on her face while she sat there in NY traffic on her way out from the Triskelion. The message was odd… to say the least, but she's fairly used to that.

Her fancy expensive sports car makes it way west from the Triskelion now toward the Tribeca burrough of NY. Its one of the nicer neighorhooods really, though it has a bit of a Bohemian spirit about it, take that as you will!

Natasha parks her vehicle next to a fancy parking meter and then exits it, closing the door behind her. She uses her phone to give the meter a healthy amount of money that will let her stay parked here for as long as she really needs too. Her hands go into the side pockets of her black leather jacket and she walks toward the bar.

The door opens and the redhead steps in, letting her green eyes roam over the place, her lips pressed together in an expression of harsh judging of this establishment and everything inside of it.

For a second time, Guy nearly spits out his drink as he spies the woman enter the bar. The proximity of other people nearby seems to give him just enough awareness to keep his lips shut tight, and instead he begins coughing, foam escaping his nostrils.

Guy grabs a wad of napkins and wipes his face off in a hurry, trying to groom himself as he begins toward his date. He flashes a broad, cheesy smile and puffs out his chest as he strides forward.

As he raises a hand to signal his presence, a man steps halfway in front of Guy and does the same.

"Bonjour, Madamoiselle!" Georges Batroc says with a chuckle. "I was worried you would be late for your funeral, non?"

"HEY!" Guy fumes, grabbing Batroc's shoulder. The Frenchman places a grip on Gardner's wrist and flips the man forward at the redhead.

Well this certainly isn't what Natasha expected when she stepped into the bar. A man looking at her and spitting out his drink as though he'd just been told by his longtime girlfriend that she was pregnant with sextuplets.

Then, not just that same spitting man, but another were moving to her before she was barely even a few steps into the bar. She was certainly used to men hitting on her, it came with her job really… years and years of dealing with that. But generally they didn't immediately jumping into fighting each other over her!

"Woah, fellas…" Natasha says as she sees the man behind Frenchie reach for him and then shove him toward her?

She doesn't care a lick about the Frenchman who just said something about her funeral. No she justs steps off to her left to let him slip past her, then her green eyes look back to Guy, her eyelids narrowed and her dark brows dropped some too, she's glaring at him… thats probably not going to be good for him.

"What the heck." Natasha says then, her voice is smokey in tone and no small amount confused in sound.

Guy slides into the door on his face before he's able to pick himself up. His face, smeared with the dirt and grime of a bar floor - complete with two or three cigarette buts - is bunched into a scowl.

"Oh, /nobody/ treats Ma Gardner's baby boy like that! Especially not in front of a dame!" Guy shouts, leaping forward past Natasha to throw a haymaker at the Frenchman.

Batroc, in return, leaps up, legs splayed out, as he balances his hand on the top of Guy's head while the latter plows on through into a nearby billiards table, sending its balls into most of the pockets with a cacophony of sound.

Meanwhile, making use of his momentum, Batroc twists in the air to try and kick Natasha squarely in the temple.

"Zut alors!" he says. "Zis shall be my greatest pay-day in months!"

Well its been awhile since Natasha found herself in a bar fight on a Friday night in the city, so maybe things were getting 'back to normal' for her. So much for having a drink and finding WHOEVER this relation to Zuckerberg was.

She takes another step back when the fight gets a little heated, her eyes seeing Guy get tossed about fairly easily even if his plucky approach toward close quarters combat involved a fair amount of bravado…

But the Frenchman comes at her now. "Hey now, Lafleur… You might want to think this thr—" But he didn't seem to want to and instead he kicks at her head! She's not very tall mind you, only 5'3" but she packs a punch. LIterally.

Natasha moves to duck beneath the frenchman's kick and in-turn aims to delivery a fist of knucks up into his privates! She's the Black Widow, nothing is off limits to her! No spot is too sacred to avoid her wrath!

Batroc lets out something akin to a squeal as his groin is pummeled. The force of the punch changes his trajectory, and he slams back-first into the nearest wall. He swallows a lump in his throat that might have been his testicles and smiles humorlessly.

"Is /zat/ why you are known as ze Black Widow?" Batroc asks in a slightly wavering voice. "Effective. I /almost/ do not want to continue. Almost."

The Frenchman lunges forward and then spins into a roundhouse kick intended to catch Romanoff in the neck.

However, Guy Gardner's come back to his senses enough to move between himself and the newly discovered love of his life. He puts up a hand in a defensive boxing stance to block the kick.

Batroc merely spins the opposite way, changing the foot he's balancing on, and clocks Guy in the jaw with his heel.

Guy stumbles about, clearly dazed.

Batroc sniffs loudly. "So eager to sacrifice zemselves, aren't zey?"

"Not quite." Natasha responds to Batroc when he comments on her code name. She's about to react to that kick too when Guy swoops in to be Mr. Hero and save the poor short redhead for assured demise.

Natasha steps back again, but she doesn't hesitate to waste an opportunity presented by Guy, she moves to step around him as he deflects the kick and makes himself a renewed target.

"This is why." She says then, and leans forward to 'blow a kiss' at Batroc. And leaving her hand is a plume of purple smoke aimed right at Batroc's face, a Widow's Kiss, meant to drop him like a sack of potatoes, with the intent of knocking him outcold should he inhale the powerful perfume.

While the French martial artist has enough of his wits to throw his body backwards at the sight of Romanoff nearing him, he's not quick enough to evade the smoke …

… and falls backwards to the floor like a felled tree. He collapses, limp, and begins snoring.

Guy, meanwhile, blinks sluggishly from a nearby chair. "Wuz gonna … gunhelpyuu," he mutters. "Gunnnn. Hallp. Yuou?" he repeats, slowly, listening to himself talk.

"Wudda date so far," Guy adds, lightly touching his jaw where he'd been kicked and sighing.

Natasha doesn't hesitate to follow the man down to the floor and crouch there beside him, her fingertips go to his neck to check his pulse while she can hear Guy behind her blathering on about something, wait, a date?

"A what?" Natasha asks as she flips her head to the side to look back at him, her red hair slipping back behind her head so it doesn't obstruct her vision whilst she stares up at the man who'd helped her just now with this shifty counter spy? Thats who she figures Batroc to have been!

With a sudden clinking of metal, Natasha brandishes a pair of handcuffs out of seemingly NO WHERE and she's suddenly flipping the man over onto his stomach while she settles down onto her knees and moves to cuff him. "Look." She says then. "I was sent here to protect some Guy Zuckerberg from getting kidnapped, I'm assuming for some ransom ploy." She says while the cuffs click secured to Frenchman's wrists.

"I know, I know," Guy says, his eyes lolling about toward the ceiling as he blinks. "Yoozhu … usually don't get physical until the third date, yadda ya—"

Guy pauses as he sees handcuffs appear. "Uhm. Or not?" He groans and rubs a temple. "This crazy Frenchie just /had/ to screw up my plans, didn't he?" He pauses again for a beat. "Wait. Do you know him? Is he an ex?"

Then the rest of Natasha's statements seem to reach Guy's brain and he frowns in puzzlement. "Zuckerberg? Lady, we're here 'cuz you were down to meet on Skeezr. Why act all coy now? Do I smell or somethin'?" He leans his head to one side to not-so-surreptitiously smell his armpit.

Natasha is standing up again by the time the man labels her as having been on a phone dating app. "I was down to what? On a what?" She says, a horribly confused look on her face now. She wasn't an active dating type, she hadn't even been on a REAL date in… longer than she'd ever like to admit really.

"I'm sorry but I think you have me confused for someone else." Even if that seems a little unlikely since her face is probably pretty unique and hard to find someone quite like it. Natasha brandishes her own cell phone now and within a minute she's placing a call to SHIELD.

"Yeah, Skip." She says into her phone, her left arm crossing over her stomach and going beneath her right elbow as she holds the phone up with her right hand. "Flanagan's. No, not that one. Tribeca. Right." She says softly, her eyes looking around the room and then back to Guy, she just stares at him then… its probably a little creepy.

"Pick up. Containment. Eighty six."

All of this is said while just staring at Guy now.

She hangs up the phone then and bluntly asks him. "Whats your name?"

Sitting silently while Natasha places her call, Guy slowly looks back and forth from the knockout to the knocked-out to his phone and back again.

He clears his throat and tugs on his popped collar. "Guy. Guy Gardner. I'm a real warrior, can't you tell?" Guy offers a smile, but its impact is qualified a bit by the fact that his teeth are bloodied.

After a moment, Guy shrugs and sighs. "So I guess I got hotboxed. No, wait. Fryfished. No. Catfished. Yeah. So …"

He looks again to the variables at hand. "Uh, ah, that is … I think I might need my lawyer present. I didn't have nothin' to do with any of this, no sirree. Am I free to go or what?"

"Well." Natasha says, in that dry tone of voice of hers. "You probably should pay the barkeep a little extra for spitting all over his countertop." She says with regard to the spit-take he did when she entered the bar. Her eyes glance in that direction and then she looks back at the man who… did he just pop his collar?

Oh boy.

"You helped me out. It seems like you were duped into being here. Probably to distract me… but I don't think our Pepe La-pue friend here fully thought his plan through." She uses her boot to nudge the out-cold Frenhie laying face first on the bar's floor.

As two other patrons open the door and see whats going on, they turn and decide to go find another place to drink on this friday night. Natasha smirks and then looks back to Guy.

"You don't have to hang around. Its fine. Go enjoy your hunt for the perfect date." She shows him a half-cocked smirk then. She doesn't seem to think of him of much more than just your average bar-hopper.

As the bruise on his jaw begins to darken and swell, Guy stands and nods. "Alright, alright. I know when I'm not gettin' anywhere." He pushes in his chair and turns to approach the bar - but then stops and looks back over his shoulder, ugly bruise toward Natasha.

"Would it get me a second date if I told you I was a superhero?" He smiles sheepishly, reddened teeth prominent.

The bartender calls out: "Bro! Leave the lady alone and pay your bill or I will feed you your own ass!"

Guy sighs, shoulders sagging, and turns back to approach the bar. "Some days a Guy just can't win," he mutters.

Natasha is playing the waiting game now for the SHIELD truck to arrive to pick this French a-hole up, so she has nothing but time to waste now. Her eyes look to the barkeep and she gives him a faint smirk before she looks back to Guy.

She admires his tenacity, that much is for certain. "You're going to have better luck with someone else, I'm sure. And I'm sure that line will work on some of the standard women who come into these places." She doesn't seem to actually believe he's a superhero… so it would seem.

She keeps a watchful presence beside the man who's snoring on the floor, not wanting to step away from him and just leave him there, and in fact she's pulling out a chain and putting it around her neck… it has her SHIELD badge hanging from it, so people will know. She's not on a 'super secret mission' tonight so she has all of her official ID and such on her person.

"Whats your super power?" Natasha indulges Guy then though, just for the hell of it.

Pulling a few bills out of his wallet to cover his drink and a decent tip, Guy clears his throat again as Natasha approaches him.

"Well," he says eagerly, "normally I'd start off by talkin' about my superhuman stamina. But I guess you saw a bit of that in action."

Guy cracks a knuckle on one hand. "I'm kind of a big deal up in space. Outer space. Think of me like a space cop, I guess." He looks down at his right hand. "My proof, though, is … ah … back at my place?"

He smirks. "Figure there's no way you'd believe me enough to find that out. Just as well - given how quick the kung-fu fighting broke out here, I'd probably lose my security deposit."

Natasha smirks openly at the man's response to her and she slow nods a pair of small times toward him. "Right." She says then. "I imagine that that approach works, what, sixty percent of the time every time?" She huffs a light laugh then and glances down to the Frenchman. She leans down to get his wallet or at least check for one.

"I'm afraid I'm all above and beyond my dating Spacemen though." She says as she straightens up again and looks back toward the bar. She steps over to it and offers a handful of bills to the bartender. "Beer, whatevers the best kind." She orders.

Her green eyes look back to Gardner then. "A cop in space, no less. You know I've met Green Lantern, on more than one occassion. He might have to confirm your story." She must be talking about Hal!

For just a moment, Guy scowls. But then a look of pain flashes across his face and he stops, touching his jaw gently.

"Look, lady - I'm guessin' your name's not really 'Cherry', right?" Guy exhales through his nose. "You mighta met /a/ Green Lantern. But you're talkin' to /the/ Green Lantern right now." He can't help but pop his collar yet again.

"You know Hal 'Boredom' Jordan, you ask him about the Guy you met tonight." Guy nods confidently. "Everything he'll tell you is true. And so is this: go on a date with me, a real date, and I'd ruin you for all other men."

The bartender, ostensibly cleaning up but obviously listening in, snorts and then attempts to cover it up with an awkward, but faked, coughing fit.

"Hey! Buddy! Go grab a Hall's from that poor bastard at the other end of the bar," Guy growls. "You're crampin' my style!"

Natasha waits for her beer to get deposited onto the bar and then she reaches out for it while listening to Guys' bravado. She smirks at his words, they're amusing, entertaining, if a bit off-putting at the same time like a used car salesman's approach.

"He doesn't like you saying his name in public." She says then about Hal after sipping the beer and then dabbing at her lips with the napkin it came with. She then narrows her eyes as the realization that this man was actually… who he says.

"You're really a Lantern?" She asks then, her eyes clearly going to look for a ring on his fingers. "Where is it?" She asks him then. Those same green eyes now going up to stare at his face again. "Do they let just -anyone- into that group? Because you know, in all honesty, I'm probably much more qualified and… well… I think one of those magic rings might really help me…" She gives a glance back to Frenchleton who gives a groan on the floor.

"Oh, uh, right," Guy stammers. "Guess not everyone's so open … ahhh, hell." He hangs his head. "I'm gonna owe him one for that, for sure."

Guy rubs his face with a half-sigh, half-groan, and shakes his head. "You gotta be chosen. It seeks you out. Like fate, but way cooler." As the woman looks at him, Guy stares back, caught dazed. "My God, you are gorgeous. Makes me wish I did have the damn thing on me…"

When Natasha's attention turns back to Batroc, though, Guy snorts and stands up. "Alright. I get it. You're just killin' time. No sweat, though. I can take a hint. Unless you want my number. Do you want my number?" he adds quickly.

While Guy tries yet again to make a connection, the groaning French mercenary suddenly does a kip-up to his feet and runs to the door, hands cuffed behind him and all. "Allez-oop!"

The compliment actually was a little endearing, because the way he said it sounded very sincere. All the same though, Natasha is almost 100 years old and though this man is an adult, he's beyond a child to her… that snot an easy hurdle to get over! "You're sweet." She says quietly. "A bit annoying, but still, there's some measure of sweet in there too."

"And actually yes." She replies about the number. "I do need your cell number, here—" She's about to reach into her pocket to presumably get her own cell back out but then the French-counter-agent is back on his feet and making a break for it while cuffed? "Oh for f***s sake." Natasha gasps out disgruntled groan and she turns to go and pursue after him to try to catch him out on the sidewalk! Once outside the SHIELD truck is actually in the process of pulling up at the bar, and there are two agents exiting the vehicle, it has flashy-lights on, but no siren. They see the agent in pursuit and move to help her!

While Batroc does his best to parkour out of the SHIELD team's grasp outside, back inside Guy turns to the bartender and waves to flag him down.

The bartender's response is to point to the back exit. "Get out of here and don't you ever come back. I want you gone /yesterday/. Now that I'm not going to embarrass you in front of your lady friend, this won't be pretty."

"Okay, okay," Guy says, hands in front of him. "Your bar, your rules. I get it." He quickly scrawls out his number on a napkin and puts it next to his bottle. "She might come back for this."

"Right," says the bartender as sarcastically as possible.

Composing himself as he walks toward the back, Guy heads off, sulkin, back toward home.

Natasha would come back inside the bar after she wrapped upside with the agents and that darn Batroc. "Slippery bastard." She mutters as she comes back in, her eyes down and her phone now out in her hands. "Okay, Smooth-talker. I'll even swap my number with your….sa…" She trails off her words as she looks around once back inside and the man is gone.

"Really?" She says then, walking back toward the bar. She'd wanted to keep contact with him if he truly was a Green Lantern… those guys are kind of useful after all!

Her beer was still waiting for her though, so she just sighs and puts her phone back where it was inside her right leather jacket pocket, her hand goes around her glass and she lifts it up for a sip.

"On to his next conquest, I'm sure." She says dryly to herself before she just decides to park herself on the barstool closest to her, may as well enjoy her own Friday night like she'd originally intended before this series of weird events unfolded!

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