Getting Buzzed

September 23, 2018:

Demons in New York are no excuse for being out of chips and beer.

A corner liquor store in New York


NPCs: Various demons, Some Guys who were Trying, The Boys



Mood Music: [*\# None.]

Fade In…

Is it a sad thing that the recent development of a demon plague has made things in this city almost 25% more normal to the odd space duo than before?

The sky's strange and reminiscent of the contents of one's stomach after it's been puked up from one too many drinks. Yet, Rocket's seen uglier colorschemes, and even uglier residents compared to the things that have dropped from random warps above and try chewing on people, cars and other objects alike.

His gun is still smoking from blasting a pair of crimson-skinned demons who thought he'd make a quick snack and probably figured on using Groot as a toothpick afterwards. While Rocket's not so sure how well things go by way of killing demons dead, he's satisfied that there are a couple of black smears on the ground and with a whistle, the Guardian continues on, his heavily and very illegally modified gun kept in hand just in case anything else decided they wanted to try jumping them.

Their destination? A corner liquor store. They're out of chips and beer and if this world's going crazy, if not the chips, then the beer is a must.

Funny how the sky and its garish colors kind of reminds Groot of those frosty drinks he and Rocket have tried. The radioactive-looking ones that couldn't have been so great for human consumption, but for wee plants? Oh yeah, those things are delish. And headache-inducing. (Worth it.)

Thing felt normal enough up until the present moment, anyway, business minded and all. Of course, that doesn't stop some random demon from appearing and shoving his head between its teeth. He's been swallowed whole before. The near-toothpick experience just makes him cranky.

Fortunately, he can always count on Rocket being prepared and armed to the teeth. The tiny plant could have helped, but he's preoccupied with wiping some of the excess drool off of his woody person. "I am Groot," he spits, shaking his arms out and picking up speed to where they need to pick up foodstuffs.

"Yeah, yeah. Relax. We'll grab you some wet naps an' you'll be good as new. Failing that, you'll just have to wait until we get back so you can get a bath. I dunno that demon drool is exactly healthy."

Rocket saunters into the store, blinking a few times as he looks around, nose wrinkling at the sight. Most of the shelves are bare, a few things scattered on the floor, mangled like they've been trampled and met their untimely demise beneath the disgusting soles of New Yorkian feet.

There are still a few humans within, scrambling around grabbing things, and behind the counter, the store owner stares anxiously, eyes flicking towards the two that have just entered as the little electronic, off-chord ring goes off to indicate their arrival.

"Flark, figured somethin' like this was gonna happen. Quick Groot, grab what you can! -HEY LADY BACK AWAY FROM THAT CASE OF BEER!"

One would think the sight of a liquor store currently being looted will stir the soul and cause the wheel of morality to turn toward the better end of judgement, yelling at the people to cease all frantic crimes and to regain their senses in a time of chaos and need. They are there to help, and they will protect them from harm.

…But no, there isn't a chance in hell that the two would have done a complete 180 within whatever shades of gray they roll in. If Rocket says grab what you can, Groot is going all in to try grabbing what he can.

"I am Groot!!" With wet naps still on the mind, the tree rushes, sharply turning a corner to grab at the nearest leftovers he can find.

There's a bag of Doritos all by its lonesome on the bottom shelf, wedged behind several Sunchips. At the other end of the aisle a lanky man in a plaid shirt is stuffing bags of peanuts into a basket, his eyes wild and roving before they fall upon the shelves at the end there, and the sudden appearance of what looks to be a walking voodoo doll.

He stares at Groot and makes his decision, lunging towards the chip shelf.

Meanwhile said lady stops, looking halfway about to say something most likely not very censored when she realizes what's just shouted at her. Instead she screams, and Rocket is running at her before throwing himself into a slide towards the refrigerated wall. He pops up just on the other side of the open door, grinning toothily at the woman as he grabs the case of bottles sitting forlornly inside the cold storage.

Realization kicks the gears in the woman's head back into running, and she glares and makes a swipe at the raccoonoid as he ducks through her legs and runs for the back of the store.

Sunchips! And they aren't even the good Sunchips! Then again what Sunchips are good!? Not the ones he's tried before, that's for sure! He can still taste the betrayal.

Groot's eyes shine as they catch sight of the hidden Doritos, suddenly forgetting about the demon drool so he can focus on swiping that bag for himself. His route on approach brings to his attention the lanky man and his peanuts, brow creasing once he senses the other's gaze falling away from him and onto that beautiful bag of nacho-flavored, triangular-shaped chips.


Groot screams in a rage, his little legs pumping across the linoleum floor to propel him toward his goal. Slenderman isn't taking that away from him, no way! He can take all of the Sunchips.

This also means his trajectory is heading straight into the guy before rebounding and leaping for the chips if he lands it right. Other than that, it'll be more of a mess.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!" screams the bespectacled man, not quite in rage but in mad desparation as he races Groot for the chips, peanuts scattering everywhere from the basket bouncing off his hip. His eyes bug out when he realizes that the little critter is coming right. For. Him.

Tiny tree collision! Although he can't have possibly been overcome by something not even a fifth his size, the man goes tipping towards the shelves as Groot's feet smack right into his cheek, the imprint left for all of a second although internally the man feels like he's been smacked and falling in slow motion as he goes crashing into the empty shelves nearby. His basket clatters beside him, spilling more bags of peanuts and a few hidden corn nut gems.

Rocket races around the back of the store, beer tucked under an arm, gun in hand. He skids and darts down another aisle, the woman swearing as she races after him. The cashier at the front yelps at the sight of the raccoon running at him with a gun and dives behind the counter. In hindsight, yeah, Rocket might look like a manic thief, but he'd had full intention of paying for the stuff, honest!

It's abruptly that there's a loud crash and shattering glass as something comes flying through the front window, toppling empty wire display shelves and toppling magazine racks. The demon that's plunged through growls and plucks a shard of glass from its forehead before looking around and grinning with awfully sharp teeth as it chuckles.

Things, flying everywhere. Groot, leaving an impression of his body into the top set bags of chips after indenting the man's face and narrowing missing the unnaturally huge mouth he could have fallen into. It goes in slow motion before speeding up again, making the landing less dynamic and more like a small handball chucked by a mean-spirited teenager.

A moment passes before he pops up for air, shoving aside the Sunchips to yank his prize after him. With a wheeze, the little thing slides down from the shelf, pausing to look at the poor man he knocked over. He reconsiders his actions for less than a second, wandering over to help himself to two of the corn nut bags. In return, a Sunchips bag is dragged over and dropped onto the body. "I am Groot."

It's the crashing noise that startles the Groot, little hands cling to his treasures as he looks around, huge eyes darting about until they see part of that broken window over the backing of the aisle. "I am Groot!" he gulps, little feet bouncing, meeting the floor with some traction as he skitters over bendy legs, trying to find Rocket as quickly as possible. But a bright red bag draws attention, a target in plain sight if the other people still inside of the store are ignored.

The demon is top-heavy, with large arms that have it poised like a gorilla, big meaty fists planted on the ground and the demolished display beneath it. There are screams from the people who are quite effectively brought to the attention of this threat, including one from a man in the next aisle over from Groot's, dropping down on hands and knees as he relinquishes his armload of gummy bears and Boston baked beans to crawl towards the back of the store.

Rocket has stopped right in front of the cash register, brow twitching as he looks at the demon that had barreled its way inside. "Aw, hell."

The demon scans the store and begins to climb leisurely over the first row of shelves as something red catches its attention, snorting as it easily crosses the aisle with a stretch of its arm and the vague groan of metal as a clawed hand grasps the shelves to the next aisle where Groot now runs. Its eyes burn as it looks down at the fallen man, whom the other that had been crawling frantically down the other aisle had seen and started to try tugging towards the back. The woman who had been running after Rocket decides that a drink isn't worth it but whips out pepper spray and flings it at the demon's face. It bounces off. Yeah, that's …not how that works.

Grumbling, Rocket sets the beer down on the counter and pulls out his other gun. He only takes a quick second to spot Groot before opening fire on the demon as it shakes its head and starts to bear down on the moving bag of Doritos and corn nuts.

The red bag dips and waddles down the way with Groot hugging it tightly, his earlier attitude gone and replaced with panic. However, the sound of a large gun firing is somewhat of a comfort, causing him to stumble and roll around another corner in surprise.

His eyes grow as wide as saucers when he sees the thing make less of an effort in shortening the distance between them. A shrill screech, and Groot struggles to his feet, running down another aisle to escape.

MEANWHILE, something hits the wall.

And another. And another?

One more hits the portion of open window, breaking the meaty thudding up with another shard of glass hitting the floor. This demon, much smaller in size than the one pursuing Groot, flicks its unusually long tongue and snorts at the air. Human smells are noted, but that distinct not-raccoon scent catches its attention. It easily slither-crawls in, teeth bared as it makes a gliding leap in Rocket's direction.

The other three follow suit, one breaking away to go after Rocket as well. The other two branch out in the opposite direction along the walls to see what they can pick of the humans.

The big demon harbogarblalarghs as it takes a shot right in the face, its grasp slipping as it topples into the aisle just behind Groot. There's a squeal from the man dragging his apparent associate as demon legs land but inches from the other's sneakered feet.

Rocket doesn't stop firing, even once the thing's fallen. "Groot- wait, where're ya goin—" he shouts after the little thing, but the other sound has his ears perk, his head jerking towards the window before he throws an arm up against the fresh spray of glass. "Whoa-!!"

Both guns are yanked around towards the thing just as it makes its leap, but the thing's upon him before he can pull either trigger.

"O-M-G! Demons!" The human that had been knocked silly by Groot comes to his senses just in time, and both he and his friend scramble on all fours and then stumbling onto feet as they race for the back door.

…which unfortunately turns out to be a storage closet.

Groot runs. He makes a mistake looking back to see where the giant demon is, running into a crooked rack that holds two dog-eared magazines. It spins lazily as Groot tumbles, the chips and corn nuts sliding somewhere out of his grasp. "Iamgroot," he sputters after the wind has been knocked out of his small body, squinting at the ceiling.

One demon spies the two friends out of the corner of its beady eye, gliding toward the door in an attempt to catch them. The other hops across aisles, bent and shoved out of place, trying to see if there are any other stragglers they may have missed. The former may have bad eyesight, however, and misjudges its attack to get…the door.

Back on the floor, Groot can hear Rocket. He's close. But the 'Whoa-!!' snaps him back into the present. Practically bouncing up from where he lay causes the room to shift, his vision swimming as he readjusts and tries to find his furry friend. And he sees that Rocket is getting ganged up on by the two other demons, the one pinning him down now lookikng to feast on its furry prey.

Helping means forgetting about the Doritos and corn nuts. Helping means still having his friend be there in the future eating all the freaking chips they want.

Groot's face contorts into a fearsome grimace, yelling at the top of his lungs to distract the demons. And it works. They both look confused, realizing too late that the one waiting its turn gets tree-tackled into another shelving unit.

The two humans are screaming perhaps comically high-pitched screams as they pile into the closet and fling the door closed behind them. Except it catches the demon's head as they shut it. The door bounces off, but they haven't let go of the handle, screaming going in and out as they try a few times to shut the door with the thing's head still caught between it before it pulls back and they succeed. Their screaming continues, only slightly more muffled.

Rocket isn't happy with getting tackled by a demon. His hands- and effectively, his guns- being pinned, he snaps up a booted foot at the creature's chin. Then the other. Repeat. Whappita-whappita-whappita. He's not exactly a powerhouse but he's angry and if it'll keep teeth from trying to eat him, he'll kick this thing all he can until he can either shoot or grab a bomb.

The bigger demon groans and pulls itself up slowly, missing half of its face as its a charred, melted mess. It hisses and squints down the aisle after Groot who's running towards the front and the other demons, and it lurches to its feet, planting fists on the ground as it begins to bound after him. Then it lunges, completely missing the fact that two of its brethren are right where Groot is running, not to mention one annoyed raccoonoid.

The experience leaves that demon with a splitting headache after its head has been bashed repeatedly, shirking away and flapping its winged arms until it hits the nearest wall. It then comically slides down onto the floor with a dull squawk.

While Groot's intentions are good, trying to knock the demon off of its feet doesn't work as planned. Instead, it whirls around, tongue lashing about its head in surprise as it makes a full revolution into the shelf. But it doesn't knock it down completely. It now tries seeking out the wooden morsel in vain, chittering in irritation as it checks nooks and crannies way too small for Groot to hide in.

Do demons like getting kicked in the face? No, not really, but this one feels it in the middle of the Rocket-kicking sequence. Wailing, it backs up like a fool, nursing its chin in the recoil.

When the ground shakes, they both look up, screeching at the top of their lungs as the huge demon comes barreling toward them. They try to get out of the way, but time and space work against them, falling over each other and maybe Rocket in the process.


Rocket pauses after he's swung both guns towards the demon that he'd tried to pummel its face in, his attention effectively drawn to the other problem that casts a growing shadow across them all.

The bigger demon's good eye widens as it realizes its mistake, but it has no airbrakes so goes colliding with the other two.

Rocket's attempts to scramble out of the way are further complicated by the two demons squabbling overhead. He gets smushed a few times, and then suddenly *WHUMP*—

This alone is enough for the last demon to know how lucky it is to have missed being smushed. Because that looks like it hurts.

From the side, Groot groans, shaking off dust and clambering back over metal…just in time to see Rocket and the other glider demons get railroaded by the large gorilla-like demon.

His jaw goes slack at first, working its way back into motion once his mind and the rest of his body is brought up to speed with what has happened. And he growls. Vaulting over some of the debris, Groot goes flying at the behemoth, latching onto its back with a ferocity reserved for situations like this.

"I AM GROOT!" he bellows, high-pitched and nuanced with everything deep in his gut. Fists gnarl and form into medium-sized balls of branch and twig, swinging blow after blow on the demon with all his might.

And somewhere underneath, one of those gliders did not survive the impact. Gross.


At least that's positive proof that Rocket's still alive somewhere under there. Although he might be saying that he can't breathe. Or something chock full of explicatives.

Suddenly the door to the store is kicked open and a pair of humans steps inside wearing denim jackets and sunglasses.

"Hey demons! It's ya boys!" proclaims the taller of the two, a smug look on his face. The expression of the shorter one wavers from neutral 'I've got this' to 'oh wait, I'm forgetting something.' The other one seems to catch this, turning to glance at his partner. "You didn't."

The shorter male pats around his pockets and sighs. "I did."

"Dude, I told you before we left the freakin' car, don't forget the holy water!"

"Yeah, I know! But I…"

"Aw sh—"

The big demon levels itself up, not seeming to even notice the little tree beating it as it gives a shake, head craning towards the doorway and the two bickering young men. It roars and pushes off towards them.

Both humans turn and hurry back outside at the same time.

The demon doesn't get far as two blasts strike it mid-leap, knocking it off balance and blowing chunks out of its shoulder and side as it goes careening into what's left of the magazine rack.

Rocket shoulders the semi-crushed demon aside as he maintains his guns at level with the bigger demon, panting.

For his part, Groot hangs on for dear life when the big demon shakes, yelling unintelligible forms of 'I am Groot' before continuing to pummel its back. He completely misses the timely arrival (and the inevitable departure) of the two humans who had their entrance down pat. Fortunately, he doesn't need more of a distraction to try forming his fists into something more pointed and stabby.

Right when he sinks one hand into the demon's skin, the two blasts make him lose his grip, letting him dangle like a ragdoll as the beast falls. "I am GroooOOOOoot-!!"


During all of this, the other demon (amazingly still alive), suffers from a mangled wing and the urge to try getting one last jump on Rocket while he's checking to see if the other demon is truly dead. The other one that is still crawling about the ceiling now also seizes the opportunity to attack, screeching as it drops down, arms and freakish mouth wide open.

The fur at the back of his neck stands on end, the realization that the other demon's still coherent coming too late as Rocket barely manages to turn his head at the nearby movement. He yells out as claws rake his arm, his opposite shoulder getting the brunt of his landing as he crashes once again to the floor. With a snarl he jerks his hand up to pull his gun up and right into the creature's mouth as it bears down upon him. His expression turns into a feral grin as he meets the demon's eyes and pulls the trigger to blow its head off.

It's the ringing shot of a standard bullet-loaded pistol that goes off right when the ceiling creeper thinks to get the drop on the raccoonoid. It might not finish it but it'll clip it enough to knock it off target. Behind the counter the cashier holds a Beretta at armslength, sweat dripping down the side of his face as he watches the demon fall.

Rocket blinks and then levels his other gun at the wounded thing before it can try again. Squrrrsh.

Two hits. Two perfect hits - one from Rocket and the other from the armed cashier - both of which send bits and pieces of demon everywhere. Or within range of whatever falls victim to the mess, to say the least. Those two aren't going to be coming back from that.

As Rocket finishes killing off the demon that was clipped by the Beretta, small hands grip onto the corpse of the big demon. Groot gasps, smearing some demon blood on the body as he gets on top, breathing a sigh after plopping himself down. Concern crosses his gnarled features as he glances at the cashier and then his Guardian pal. And he wiggles a hand. "…I am Groot?"

It takes him a moment, both of them actually, but after a few tense seconds, cashier and space raccoonoid simultaneously expel a sigh in relief, one sagging against the cigarette encasement behind him, the other sinking back onto the floor.

"…yeah… You?" Rocket finally replies after sucking in a couple of breaths. He makes the effort of trying to pull himself upright and onto his feet, shoving his guns into holsters and wincing at the bloody furrows in his arm. Still trying to catch his breath, he fishes around his pocket and then presses a twenty dollar bill on the counter before grabbing the beer. He motions for Groot to grab his goodies if they're still there as he limps towards the door.

"I am Groot," the shrub replies tiredly, nodding his knobby head as he leans his weight on one arm. He takes another second to look at the dead demons again, mouth twisting now that it becomes more disgusting after the fact.

Blinking, Groot sees and heeds the gesture, sliding off of the giant demon. He toddles around and over to where he last left the Doritos and corn nuts, gathering them in extended arms. Another beat, and he goes to take a few of the Boston baked bean cartons along as well.

Trotting after the not-raccoon, Groot smiles at the cashier, hurrying in step to catch up.

The cashier blearily stares after the strange pair as they exit. Slowly he forces his gaze to continue its circuit in reluctant inspection of his store in the aftermath of the demon invasion-slash-looting.

The storage closet door thumps, once, twice, and on the third time, the two men that had earlier thought to hide within it now leap out, brandishing mop and broom, faces set in what they hope to be menacing but transmits as uncertain and ready to bolt at the drop of a hat.


The lanky one in plaid looks around awkwardly as his compatriot scratches his head and looks over to notice the cashier eyeing them.

"Hey. We found your…your mops and stuff. Everything's….yeah"

The two step back into the closet and shut the door again, leaving the cashier staring. "…….."

Just one of those days.

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