God of Umbrellas

August 24, 2018:

Thor, God of Umbrellas, rebukes Maxima's desire for a godly consort.


NPCs: None.



Mood Music: [*\# None.]

Fade In…


“I’ll be there for you …,” The Rembrandts's hit and the theme song to FRIENDS blasts courtesy of a blue-tooth speaker. For more than twenty years the fountain at Cherry Hill has been a popular tourist stop for super-fans of the hit 90s television show.

However, some super-fans are not satisfied with a few selfies at the edge of the fountain or waded within. Bonita Alverez, 37, is getting married for the third time. She and her girlfriends are kicking off an evening of bachelorette activities with a professional photoshoot of them standing in the fountain and doing mock-poses from the opening of FRIENDS.

Thor sometimes walks the park to contemplate his various journeys and the mysteries that confront him. Often is he recognized – never before has he been coaxed to flexing in the fountain of Cherry Hill.


Six women do a strong-arm pose within an public fountain. At their center is Bonita Alverez and Thor. The God of Thunder wears wet board shorts and nothing else. A crowd gathered some wishing to ogle the Odinson but most just stopping because of all the commotion … and then realizing this is a chance to witness an abdomen hard enough to grate cheese.


Thor is out of the fountain. He’s been taking selfies with the crowd including an NYPD mounted officer. The crowd has mostly dispersed now and so as the horse and officer turn to ride away he turns to the fountain. Reaching to it’s edge he grabs his shirt, which is sopping wet, and wrings it out before whipping it over his shoulder.


Toes inch their way across foam boards and into a pair of cheap blue flip-flops. Running fingers through his long hair he gives a contented sigh and reaches to retrieve his umbrella which was leaning against the edge of the fountain near to his footwear.


A tilt of her head and Maxima watches the last of the people leave and then turns her attention to Thor. She heard people talk about this Thor. SHe arches an eyebrow at his physique and considers him from a small distance as she watches him get his shirt. Maxima seems to consider much of him before she finally nods to herself and starts over toward him idly, "Thor!" She calls out and waves a hand.

Now, normally people would immediately wonder who or what Maxima was about because of her normal outfit BUT right now she is dressed in a pair of sneakers that look rather new and expensive, a pair of jeans that are belled at the bottom along with a loose fitting vest over top of a light shirt that shows off hints of her own abs.

Now, that doesn't mean she doesn't stand out at all, at 6'3" and with her long red hair, she's certainly not an average woman. Either way, as she stops near to the Thunder God, she tilts her head, "I see, I didn't hear wrong. Thor." She nods idly, "I have heard much and from what I can see, the tales do not do justice."


He spins his umbrella a few times a’la Charlie Chaplin only to stop when he hears his name. The God of Thunder squints as if prepared to search the crowd but easily finds the red-headed woman as she waves at him and approaches.

Thor gives a friendly smile to her approach and turns without any hurry to lean his umbrella back against the edge of the fountain. “I am quite impressive,” Thor boasts in a conversational tone, “your friends too shall be impressed!”

Then he steps for her and turns so they are side to side. He reaches to put his hand about her waist, leaning in, and grinning toothily at the middle-distance prepared for Maxima to raise a phone before their faces and snap a quick picture so that the electronic blue bird within can carry it to all of her friends.


A blink at his forwardness and she gasps as he has an arm around her before she is fully prepared for it. Rarely is anyone so forward with her and while she is wearing such an outfit she looks where he is looking at then at him before saying, "What are you smiling at, Thor?" She asks and now worries that he might be a mad man instead of simply a god as people say.

Of course, she recovers quickly enough and idly pulls away from him and she looks him over, "You are very forward, Thor. I can't say I'm not impressed by such a move but do not think that some cheesy smile and conidence is all it takes to win me over." She idly gestures at him with a wafting hand, almost a shooing gesture before she shakes her head, "I am Maxima and just because you look good enough doesn't mean you are good enough." She points a finger at him, "I will allow this slight one time if only to reward your bravery but beware I won't allow a second such action."


What is he smiling at? Thor blinks slowly after a moment and gets something of a perplexed look. A look that only intensifies when she pulls away from him and rebuffs his well-crafted ‘selfie smile’ which has generally delighted the woman who came rushing to him in compliment of his proportions.

Blue eyes focus on Maxima, really for the first time, crawling steadily up her form as she speaks to him. She thinks he is brave? This causes him to smile once more but now at her face rather than the middle-distance, “Win you over?” His smile twists into a warm smirk, “None hath ever had cause to doubt my worth, Maxima.” He assures her, “and for any offense unto you I do apologize. Although your beauty and proportions are worthy of song I seek not to compete for the companionship of a woman this day.” He raises his hand there meaning to quell her oncoming sadness with this gesture, “It is /not you/,” he assures, “it /is me/.”

“I am certain you can find one /nearly/ as worthy as I to compete for your affection.”


"Nearly?" Maxima raises up her head slightly and shifts her weight to her back leg, "You're assuming you're worthy at all. I have hardly seen anything to prove your worth as a warrior." She gestures lightly, "You might have impressed a few of these people with a flex here and there but I am not so easily amused." She nods her head, "I have seen much of this world and with the exception I do not believe that there is anyone on this world who could give me pause. Unfortunately the one who really might was too much of a blowhard to ever interest me." She shrugs and sighs, "It is what it is I suppose.

"The stories and legends are always greater than the actual thing." She then turns her gaze over to the fountain and walks over to it, past Thor and looks it over, "At least there is beauty here." SHe looks over Thor with a sidelong glance and then hmms, "Are you also part of the vaunted Justice League? It'd make sense…"


Thor stiffens slightly at the accusation and his arms fold across his chest. His friendly smile subsides a bit and after a moment has vanished completely leaving him damp, wearing only shorts, and with something of a frown.

“Very well,” Thor replies, “Then test your worth …” beat-pause, and he nods towards the umbrella which leans against the fountain, “Heft my umbrella into the air and demonstrate that you are a warrior worthy of protecting the nine realms.”

He doesn’t answer questions about the league. Just awaits her to prove her claims of superiority by hefting the umbrella Mjolnir.


"An umbrella?" She blinks several times at him and then she looks over at it, "Are you serious?" She then looks at him, "You must be joking." She walks up and looks at it before looking at him, "A warrior worthy of protecting the nine realms because of an umbrella? You really are mad."

She then looks over at the umbrella and squints at it. She reaches out and grasps it easily enough and then…it doesn't move. She winces as she pulls at it and stares before looking at Thor, "Is this some kind of trick? A trick like that large brute tried to pull?" She then turns and glares at the umbrella a she pulls harder. Rather than her go up, her feet crack the earth beneath her a little as she growls.


“Tis no trick,” Thor declares with smug satisfaction and then unfurls his arms approaching the umbrella. He reaches outward and lifts it in a manner one would expect tossing it end-over-end and then catching it once more, “You are /not worthy/.”

Spinning it to his shoulder then he rests it casually upon bulging trapezius.


A blink and she watches him lift it before she glares, "Worthy of an umbrella?" She then grinds her teeth a moment and listens to him before she finally just huffs, "As if it matters." She raises up slightly off the ground, "What are you? Thor, god of umbrellas? Worthy to block the rain." She pffts and laughs, "I guess if that is the case I hardly want to be called worthy of such a role." She wafts a hand at him again, "Hardly something to be proud of."


Thor laughs. A rich sound enhanced by bouncing pectorals and tightening abdominals.

“Perhaps?” He replies to Maxima’s accusation, “but tis better to be the God of Umbrellas,” moving the umbrella from his shoulder he opens it *FWOOM* and holds it over his head, “than to be all wet.”

Suddenly, it begins to rain. Hard drenching rain. Which patters upon the top of his umbrella.


A blink and she tilts her head as she feels the water land on her. Her eye twitches a little and then she takes a breath. She then idly lifts a hand and takes a breath. A moment later that's a flare of light around her and not only is she now standing in her more traditional outfit she arrived in but the rain is not landing on her at all. There appears to be some kind of field above her blocking all the rain. Invisible but effective. She then considers him, "Cute."

She then walks forward and stands right before him before she idly states, "Still not impressed." She shakes her head even as she considers him, "I don't know what trick you have with your umbrella but it is becoming clear you're more of a boy than a real man." She nods her head and then looks him over, "Got anything else, Umbrella boy?"


The flash of light was unexpected. He blinks in surprise as her clothing shifts into something that is very abnormal. Considering this, the rain stops as suddenly as it began. What might be clear is that it was only raining in the area around the fountain. What also might be clear is that several people, no doubt FRIENDS super-fans, stands on the wings of their conversations cell-phones high. Particularly because of Maxima’s sudden display of power.

Thor senses their presence. He twists to his right as he lowers the wet umbrella and gives a cordial wave before closing Mjolnir and giving it a shake. Droplets briefly flying.

“I do not need to impress you,” Thor says, “She who hath only insulted me. Who is unworthy. You wish to goad me to battle for the sake of your pride?” He says, “Then /you have failed/. I fight only to protect this realm /that is why I am worthy/.”

Lifting his chin, “/I am a god/.”

“What monster would I be to risk the destruction of their hallowed FOUNTAIN OF FRIENDS?” He gestures to the gathering with his umbrella and then draws its point to the fountain, “because some woman seeks for me to put my hands upon her after having already told me to not do so.” Brow furrows in perplexing, “The mating rituals of Midgard,” he sighs, “they make no /sense/ in this age.”


A blink and then she blinks again as she looks at the people and then at Thor. She takes a step back from him as her forcefield goes down and then she looks around before she stands up taller, "I am a Queen!" She states and points at him, "Queen Maxima of Almerac and I will not be…scolded!" She declares and then huffs as she steps up toward him and glares at him, "And I…" She huffs and clenches her fists.

This is that moment with Caitlin all over except now she was the one losing her temper. She finally takes a breath and then turns away from Thor, "Fine." She states, "Perhaps I was a bit hasty in my attempt to goad you into battle, Thor." She nods her head and then looks back at him, "It was unbecoming and I apologize." She nods her head and then offers out her hand to him though from the side and slightly behind, "I offer you my hand in apology as is custom of this world."


When he comes towards him with curled fists he moves the umbrella upward slightly, a clear warning. When she turns away it drops and he listens for a quiet moment.

“Almerac …,” he repeats the word and lifts his gaze towards the clear sky above them, “Yes!” Eyes flash back to her, “I know of Almerac,” then he corrects himself, “I have heard /tales/ of Almerac.”

“Your apology is appreciated,” Odinson says in a heartfelt way and waves off her remorse, “I myself was behaving in a manner unbecoming of the /Throne of Asgard/. To drench you so on your vacation.” He shakes his head, “You need offer me nothing. You are not of this world nor am I.”

“This world is a wonderous place and has become ever more so in the past one hundred years. As the Queen of Almerac I should recommend that you not leave before you have graced one of the establishments within the city created by the Queen of Dairy. Her blizzards rival even the great ice cream mountains of Alfheim and as a royal they will provide you with a discount of five-percent if you inform them of your pedigree.”

“Second only to the Queen of Dairy is the King of Burgers whose flame grilled masterpieces provide a mighty feast.”


A blink and she looks back at him with a tilt of her head, "A queen of dairy?" She asks and then blinks, "A king of burgers? I am not sure if I am to be impressed by such titles or amused by how easily they throw the title of royalty about here." She considers that a moment before looking then to Thor, "And they have discounts for royalty? Yes, I have heard this world uses some form of backwards currency amongst its own people." She nods her head, "I have been told it is capitalism."

She sucks in a breath before looking again at Thor, "I am in need of some kind of currency or a way to get it." She nods her head, "I have been told and now I must research that." She then steps up to him, "But just because I am breaking a moment of peace with you do not think you got off so easy, Thor." She nods to him, "I will still wish to see your strength and that of the rest of those who form up the Justice League and Avengers." She nods her head.

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