Molly the Goat Walker

July 25, 2018:

Thor hires Molly to be his Asgardian shepherd AKA Goat Walker


NPCs: None.



Mood Music: [*\# None.]

Fade In…

Nearly a month ago explosions rocked Hell’s Kitchen killing more than 8,000 people. What followed was an outpouring of volunteerism the like of which had not been seen in some time. Young Molly, AKA Bruiser, had the distinguished honor of flying a bus-turned-chariot about the city transporting the injured over barrier and flame to hospitals – located all around the country.

As the hospitals in NYC reached capacity they began to utilize neighboring cities, regions, and finally other states. Thrice there was the need to life flight individuals to advanced surgical centers and thrice Molly did drive the Toothgrinder across the country. Trips that should have taken more than an hour by plane somehow accomplished in only minutes. Suddenly, the idea of Santa Claus did not seem so far fetched.

“And they gave you no trouble?” Thor had asked her skeptically gripping Toothgrinder by the horn and twisting his head back and forth in what appears to be a playful manner, “Not once did they stop to graze upon a heap of trash or scream at the moon?”

“Hrm,” he appraises the young lady, “A firm hand and a stubborn demeanor,” he remarks adding, “The qualities of an Asgardian shepherd,” as if that was a fine quality to possess.

“I may have need of you. What is your phone number?”

Molly’s phone buzzes,
UNKNOWN NUMBER: hi. i have need of a shepherd. can u meet me in the park?
A second later.
UNKNOWN NUMBER: electric message me back
Two seconds later.

It’s an oppressively hot day in Central Park. Which is the park he meant – eventually you were able to figure that out. Except Central Park is a pretty big place and when you tried to figure out WHERE he was there was no response.

How hard could finding an Asgardian and a pair of magic goats be?

Currently, Thor is within one of the park’s playgrounds. He’s lying down on one of those metal merry-go-grounds that children use to try to make each other throw up and, often, that a child will fly off of and injure himself. Except that Thor is lying down one foot in contact with the ground. He’s wearing what appears to be a pair of board shorts. Bare feet. His torso adorned with what appears to be a sleeveless duster. Using his toe he rocks right-to-left.

A pair of very long leather leashes hang loosely in his grip. At the ends of the leashes are the goat-lords. That’s right – two of them. Not just the one that was flying the bus. They’re eating the park’s rubber mulch. Which is sort-of an expensive meal. They started at the swing set which now has a section where two chains dangle with no seat.


A blink and Molly stares down at the phone and finally responds to it 'I am on my way.' she was confused to say the least.

Either way she showed up because well, I mean, being called a shepherd is not exactly all that exciting but then at the same time, being called an Asgardian Shepherd by Thor had to be pretty good, right? I mean, that's like Jesus saying you're a good carpenter or something…or something.

Now walking through the park, Molly slowly looks around with some degree of confusion. She's wearing a hat that is…actually a goat. Well, a goat's head. A goat hat. She finally spots two goats eating rubber and recognizes one with a grin before she rushes over.

"Hey!" She calls out with a smile, waving a hand.



Toothgrinder raises his head at the voice mouth working the mulch over as demonic slit-pupil eyes focus upon the approaching woman. It swallows the lump and then stamps the ground with its right fore-hoof before, SHRIEKING. It’s terrifyingly human and reminiscent of nails upon the chalk board.

This immediately gets Toothgnasher’s attention and he looks upward as well head turning from side to side as if searching for danger. Then he sees Molly and lowering his head he LEAPS forward ripping the leash right out of Thor’s head as he charges her head down horns brought to bear as he seeks to butt her at full tilt.

Thor is startled by the shrieking. Momentarily entangled in the Merry-Go-Round as Toothgnasher rips free and charges forward. When he does get free the leash is too far away from him to dive and grab and so he begins to chase Toothgnasher who is, by the way, far faster than Thor.

So in summary. In the middle of central park. There is a giant goat SHRIEKING. A second goat charging a young woman. And the god of thunder chasing behind and waving his arms while bellowing, “TOOTHGNASHER SHE IS NOT A SATYR! THEY DO NOT HAVE GOAT HEADS!”


About to call out to Thor, she raises her hand to call out to him only to cover her ears and blink as she hears the shrieking, "Hey!" she calls out in surprise and blinks at Toothgrinder and shakes her head. She then is about to say something angry to the shrieking goat only for the other to lunge toward her. She takes a step back in surprise and then looks past the goat to Thor and then looks at the incoming goat.

Her hands come up and her eyes begin to glow before she considers the goat and Thor's words quickly and sets her jaw. She then hmms and nods her head. She pushes her goat hat forward a little.

"Alright then!" she then takes a breath and right as the goat comes into range she tilts her head down a little and lets her forehead be the first thing that goat hits. Of course, at that point her eyes glow brighter and what hair can be seen begins to flow upward and outward as she aims a forehead like granite for a Goat's forehead…which she assumes is a tough goat. Goat of Thor after all. Hopefully.


From Toothgnasher’s perspective the SATYR tilts its head forward as if prepared to accept the charge. The goat accelerates the final paces.

WHACK. It’s the sound of two bowling balls being thrown into one another. A hollow THOK.

Toothgnasher staggers a bit and paces backwards as if in a stupor. Enough time for Thor to catch up and tackle the beast. Which goes ‘BLAH’ in protest but is nonetheless driven to the ground as the Asgardian prince grabs two of its legs and pushes with his shoulder driving them both into the dirt.

Toothgrinder stops shrieking and begins to walks lazily forward flicking its tail as if interested in what is occurring and not believing that it is, in anyway, responsible.

“Fool goat,” Thor says pulling all four of its legs together if he were roping a calf put, lacking any actual rope, just holds them together for a moment before shoving the creature away with annoyance, “I am sorry.” He says to her, wiping his hands, and then pauses and blue eyes narrow as if assessing her for damage.


Her eyes go crosseyed for a moment as she staggers back. SHe blinks a few more times and stumbles back another step but overall, she's still on her feet. She closes her eyes a moment before saying, "Ow." She nods her head and then winces as she then rubs her forehead, "He uh…has a hard head."

She walks over slowly and looks down at the goat and then at Thor before saying, "Hi." She waves a hand and her eyes continue to glow that puprle light as she tries ot use her powers ot increase her own ability to recover. She then looks over the goat, "Hi!" She then looks up at the not screaming goat and waves too, "Hi, goat."


Toothgrinder goes ‘bleh’, a goatly sound, in response to her greeting then continues to approach. Seemingly unconcerned with her glowing eyes it stretches its head outward as a dog might if it were wanting to smell – except instead its lips open and close trying to pull Molly’s hat into its mouth.

Thor’s wide hands close over its muzzle and he pulls the head towards his rippling abdomen, “Fool goat,” he chastises this one now, “Go. Eat the spongy rocks within the playground.” Forcing its head that way. The goat goes ‘bleh’ and walks a few paces before finding a cigarette butt upon the ground and opting to eat that on the way.

“Aye,” Thor agrees with her assessment, “The goat-lords are loathe to change their path and so often have cause to charge through rocks and satellites,” he waves a hand towards the heavens, “When we travel.”

“You, too, seem to have a hard head bruiser. A hard head and a firm hand. /Exactly/ what I require.”

“I was impressed with the way you handled yourself with those in danger and with how you managed the beast both then and now,” His face darkens a bit, “I have had a bit of trouble with the goat-lords,” he explains with regret, “Officer Harold Lowenstein has challenged me to court and mine attorney the Son of Nel hath recommended that I assure the goats are properly supervised each day and are no longer allowed to simply roam and graze upon the garbage of the buildings about the city.”

“And so,” he nods at her, “I require someone with a firm hand and hard head to tend them for a few hours each day. Is this a profession that would interest you? To tend the royal goats of Asgard when they are upon Midgard?”


A blink and she smiles a little, bristling some as she glows even brighter for a moment before she gasps and lets the power go and her eyes go a little tired for a moment. She clears her throat and closes her eyes, calming herself before saying, "Yes." SHe nods her head and opens her eyes, "I would very much like to help you in this way." She nods her head and then walks over to Toothgnasher and squats down.

She pokes a finger right at his nose and says, "And you better not do that again or I'll sock ya one!" She nods her head and shakes a fist at the goat before standing up and brushing off her hands, "That's handled." She then looks over to Thor, "I'll watch them both and I'm sure this officer Harold won't have any problems with me in charge."

She grins wide, "You just let him know that…" She considers it and taps her chin before looking to the side, "Tell him Molly Hayes has it handled!" And she knods her head and points at Thor, "Or Just Molly. You go mostly just by one name. I can, too."


Toothgnasher’s demonic eyes seem to cross as the finger goes in his face. Lips nibble a bit at the tip of it as if probing to see if something edible has been offered. Nostrils flare, not edible, and so it just stands there tail-flicking as if uncertain what is occurring.

Toothgrinder is back upon his feet at this point and too sniffs the shaking fist but reaches the same conclusion as to whether its edible. So he tries to eat her pants instead. His neck stretches as she stands but ultimately allows her to escape and instead turns ramming Toothgnasher in the side of the head with his horns.

They then quibble back and forth a bit. ‘Bleh’ and ‘Blah’ing at each other as the half-heartedly lock horns.

Thor’s hands clap together, overjoyed at shirking his responsibility, “If Harold Lowenstein is wise he shall not see me until the Son of Nel and I battle him in court,” the God of Thunder says with menace, “and if he should trouble you /let me know/.”

“Well met, Molly,” Thor says friendly tone momentarily boisterous, “I have many names but mine allies call me Thor,” he agrees with her, “And the goat lords,” motioning to the pair, “Toothgnasher whose beard is tipped the color of coal and Toothgrinder whose beard is not.”

“If one should die in your care – worry not – for so long as you bury their bones they shall arise again at daybreak.”

Thor walks towards her then and points to the towering buildings of the Upper East Side, “We dwell there, second from the left.” Gesturing towards one of the tall apartment buildings, “I shall let Clive the Son of Jacob know of your duties and he shall allow you up to claim them each day. You may feed them bags from the building’s recycling and allow them to carry you wherever you wish for two hours each day. See that they return home fatigued and they will rest within their pen the rest of the afternoon.”

The god of thunder pauses for a long moment as he goes down a list of items in his head eventually finding one he had not yet discussed, “Ah. I shall pay you five silver per day for your labor. Three and a half gold per week. If I am called away to protect the nine realms you may take the goats to the Office of the Son of Nel and Murdock to receive payment. Clive can inform you of their location.”

He reaches into the pocket of his duster then and fishes out four envelopes. He examines them and then hands them over. Three of them are labeled ‘one’ and one of which is labeled ‘one-half’. She will find cash in each. It’s about $3,500 dollars.

“What are your questions?”


For his troubles, Toothgnasher gets a swat to his head for trying to eat her pants. She then rolls her eyes before looking up to Thor. She sorta just starts nodding as he goes off about Sons of this and Sons of that. Then she pays more attention as actual instructions hit. Then she blinks again as she is about to question the dead goat thing. Dead… That…wait. Dead?

Then he is off to the part about getting paid in silver and then she is confused because what again. And then she takes the envelope and looks inside and her mouth hangs open for a moment. She doesn't know how much is in there but it is more than she has ever had on her own plus another more than she has ever had.

She looks up at Thor and then blinks a few times, "Umm…about the goats. No." She looks at the goats and then at him, "I think I got it…" She then looks up, "I guess…this works." She nods her head and then looks back at him and then looks to the side a moment, "Umm, there is one little thing though…" She shifts a little and then bites her lip, "Can…I see your hammer? The one you call Mjolnir?!" She shifts a little from foot to foot, "And can I touch it?"


Thor gives her a wry grin at the request.

“Tend them one month without incident and I shall allow you to test your worthiness,” he looks from her to the goats and then back, “Who knows, perhaps after ten thousand years your deeds may even make you so.”

Then he raises a brawny arm and using his pointer and middle finger points at the animals which are now slowly walking away, “Two hours,” he reminds her and then waves her after them. The god of thunder looks at his bare feet then and remembers that he left his flip-flops upon the playground and that Peggy will be displeased is he tracks ‘all of the New York diseases across her carpet again’.

So he sets out to retrieve his footwear before heading off to run the rest of his errands for the day.

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