Fix Everything Pt. II

July 22, 2018:

The intrepid group of heroes (?) arrive at Chronux. But where is this Gorr the God Butcher? And what is it with snakes?

Chronux - > Asgard...?

Characters

NPCs: None.

Mentions:

Plot:

Mood Music: None.


Fade In…

As the conversation turns to what is cool or not, Atli tips back her beer and drinks down the refreshing ale of Midgard, or wherever this is from, happy to have it for her flask is only so full. It will be a sad day indeed when they run out of nourishing amber nectar, but soon she's fed the beer can to the goat and Peter Quill is putting them through all sorts of acrobatic nonsense.

For Atli, it is nothing new. The goat does far worse to her. But what is new is the look on Bucky Barnes' face as the stars reflect in his eyes, and the fear of nothing at all as space takes hold of them, showing exhilaration in the moments that pass over Janes' face as a certain manwhore turns them end over end. And even her Aunt Loki, who, judging by the look on her face, has truly met such redemption that this vision of Midgard strikes her almost silent.

Once Thor spoke of the things they leave behind, of the moments in the adventure not paid enough attention to. It was quite an odd, not-Thor thing to say, Atli had thought at the time. But now she understands it all. A moment so perfect that it hangs in the very balance in the time between her order to activate the goat, and Jane's all too Midgardian protest.

Atli's smile is ever so invigorated as she explains, though there is nothing condescending here. Just the whimsy of someone for whom this is all very set in stone. Or in archives, at the very least. "Of course not, Sorceress Supreme. The goat merely taps into a tachyon pathway capable of resisting the geodidic strain present in all collapsing dimensional singularities. You see, as King Thor once explained it, the Einstein-Rosen bridge requires such things for stability. I would say it is somewhat like one of Midgard's highways, and the goat is simply one of the ramps. A very good ramp, isn't that right Toothbender!" Her smile is every bit the smile of Thor the Unworthy when he ate breakfast with Jane in that little town that Loki all but destroyed. A smile of someone who learned that the Bifrost had another name, one that Jane Foster put in the Asgardian archives forever and ever, far into a future well beyond the end of the Earth.

Atli only knows Earth-science because Jane taught it to Asgard.

Her hand smacks the goat's rear, just as a rainbow energy blossoms all around them.

"And best part is, it's a beautiful rainbow color."The ship leaps forward and powers into what appears to be a Bifrost summoned from a goat's ass, stretching reality as they zip through the gates that Quill and company are far more used to, and then, in less than sixty seconds, they pop back into existence clear across all creation.

There, a tiny sphere on the horizon of a cracked moon circling a cloudy giant. It appears to be made of milky white diamond, tarnished by some unseen force that blows across the cosmos: Chronux, the Palace of Infinity Awaits.

SMACK.

Also, that body awaits. A dead body, one that hits the windshield and then slowly slides off until it's tumbling behind them. Bald, humanoid, but not human, robes flutter in the wake of the Milano until they're almost swimming in a whole field of these bodies of the Keepers of the City Beyond time. There before them, the outer doorway awaits, cracked open ever so slightly.

Atli blinks, eyes squinting at all the dead bodies. "Verily I have been to parties that have ended in such discourse, but never would I expect such a thing on Chronux."

**

With Quill doing the flying, Rocket steals a glance back at their passengers now and then, in between doing routine checks to make sure that Groot's behaving himself. Of course, when you have a goat powering their jumps through space and who-knows-what, it's kind of hard not to stare at Toothbender now and then. Because what.

"Yeah, real pretty," he replies absently, only vaguely paying attention to Atli's explanation as he fixes his eyes forward at the blur of light and color that passes across the Milano. And suddenly, a UFO.

It's very shortly identified to be a body as everything else comes into focus around them. Rocket jerks back in his seat with a start, then watches as the body goes sliding across the windshield. "Gross! I just hosed that down the other week!" He looks frontwards again, squinting as it seems that's hardly the only floating body out here, and that's not talking planets.

"Uh…" Yeah. That's. A lotta bodies.

"…so that doesn't look like a good sign."

**

Now that is a weird feeling. A fun, but weird, feeling. Rocket doesn't have to be too concerned with Groot in the back, however, given the little sapling is busying himself between playing with the harness and staring at the pretty light coming from the rear end of a mythical-level goat. He even tries to reach up to touch the light, not exactly knowing that it isn't completely tangible. Because light.

It's the blunt, bodily sound of that SMACK that jolts the Groot in his seat, big eyes quickly shifting to look at whoever it was that hit the glass. A confused sort of noise is made as he leans forward, scooting up a bit to see what else - or who else - is out there, floating in the black.

**

Space, in all its great glory, enfolds them as they leave Earth behind. Then, even more impressive, the Bifrost — summoned by means Bucky does not care to contemplate, though Atli explain them quite handily — spills forth around them, setting a pathway for them out of their solar system. Out of their galaxy, in fact.

"And I thought going to Europe was far enough," he mutters, mostly to himself. In his defense, when he thought this, it was 1942.

He leans forward to look out the viewport, catching his first glimpse of this so-called Chronux — only to recoil suddenly as a body hits the screen. He stares, a little dumbfounded, as more and more start to fill space around them, brushing gently across the ship's exterior.

"You know," he comments, his left hand tightening with a subtle whir, "When I imagined going to space, I didn't imagine it being full of dead bodies…"

**

There are few words needed to describe the look on Jane Foster's face as Atli becomes an unending fount of scientific babble.

Wide-eyed. Stunned. Breathlessly backhanded with realization.

Talk of the Bifrost conceived not as some rainbow bridge, but by Midgardian standards — finally understood by scientific law — offers a glimpse into the future. If that is Atli's future Asgard, and what she was taught, what she knows?

"That… makes sense," Jane remarks, a little blankly, her voice punched soft. "I mean, the goat's ass part is disgusting, honestly, but if that's where you find a zero-probability engine, you can't really be picky —"

It means one thing, a truth, as she feels that quantum tug of their gate-skipping on the blood in her veins. It doesn't help mitigate the wild wave of euphoria. She did it. She built it. She can't breathe she's so shocked. She doesn't know exactly how, but she — joined science and magic, and she —

The SLAM of the corpse against the Milano jolts Jane out of her thoughts. She jumps the same moment Bucky does, as their FTL flight bears them in some faraway system. She would be entranced by that moon — it's beyond beautiful, her first look beyond with her own eyes — if not for that sea of bodies.

Unbuckling from her seat, impatient to remain sitting, Jane steps forward, one hand at her mouth. "Oh my god," she says. "We need to stop this."

**

And there it goes. A rainbow fart, ferrying them away from that blight of a blue world. Loki should be thrilled—

"Uck. The stench."

But maybe some people are just hard to please. The tragic price of keeping to one's towering standards.

Chronux, the Palace of Infinity is a hidden world that only a select few were ever deemed worthy enough to know of. Its placement in the grand universal tapestry made it a valuable nexus within the timestream, and the influence on its gods made their blood a precious resource to be protected. None but the trusted, the deserving, were to know of this place.

That Loki Laufeydottir hardly even registers surprise at the sight of this hidden, temporal paradise, then, clearly just means she is amongst the worthy.

Clearly.

What -does- register as unexpected is the dull, meaty *thwap* of godflesh hitting the Milano like an overly reckless bug on the windshield of a car. An expression previously doused in doldrums is disturbed by the faintest quirk of a fine, puzzled brow. "Mm?" The Goddess of Mischief tilts her head up, and peers at that body smeared helplessly (and lifelessly) on the front of the ship. She squints, as if attempting to puzzle out the nature of what she's saying. Lips purse.

"Ah!" And then a hand points a finger skywards, like on the cusp of a realization. "Of course, I remember that face! That's the Goodwill Ambassador! Hi, Goodwill Ambassador!"

And so does the Goodwill Ambassador welcomingly drag his carcass off the windshield to allow them entry into Chronux, the Palace of Infinite Corpses.

"Farewell, Goodwill Ambassador!"

Fingers stop wiggling as Loki tips herself down onto her feet, brows hefted. "My. Not quite the warm welcome you were all doubtless expecting, is it? But don't lose heart, Master Barnes, Lady Froster; space graveyards are far from the only thing in this world-weary universe of ours."

And magic dances unseen at Loki's fingertips as she brushes her senses across the sea of the dead, to see one thing, and one thing only:

"There are things so much worse for you to discover yet!"

How many of these vaunted former members of godhood have been drained of blood.

"Well then. They've graciously left the doors open for us. Shall we go be heroes, or at the very least extremely brave morticians?"

**

In the look between Bucky and Jane, Atli revels in what she has brought them. Even the goat gas. But that is not something she has a choice in, nor does anyone else. It smells like Fruity Pebbles, which must be why FOUL LOKI hates it because, you know. Foul Loki. Not having long to bask in the glory that is the look in Jane and Bucky's eyes, nor in the quizzical waving of her Aunt Loki or Rocket and Groot's exclamations, she draws her sword with great expediency, and it does soon become a spear.

"Lord of Stars! We must breach the gate, take us in! Noble Barns, Sorceress Supreme Foster, prepare yourselves. Today you stand among heroes the realms untold. Today you storm the gates of Chronux to stop Gorr from enacting his terrible plan! Today, all of you, are FRICKIN GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY."

Of course, the 'frickin' part is due to Rocket. She believes that is their real name.

As the ship dives downward, as the bodies dissipate and give way to the vaunted gates, Quill will find himself with a choice: Full speed ahead, element of surprise, or…. you know. That other thing. Caution? Something like that.

As magic unfurls, it will be clear to Aunt Loki, Goddess of Mischief, that these Gods are all well and gone, drained entirely and cast to the stars to be a symbol to those who will come next.

There is every indication that Gorr, the God-Butcher, has enacted his plan, or perhaps lays in wait. One thing for sure is certain: The glow beyond those doors, opened ever so slightly, is the glow of the timepool at it's full.

And just then Toothbender passes rainbowgas again, giving the Milano a power boost.

The goat calls to war.

**

"There's plenty'a dead bodies in space- just not usually… out in space. Well okay. Sometimes out in space. Space is big though, so I guess yer just lucky about us coming out into the middle of a whole cloud of 'em."

Rocket's reached over to grasp the controls, just in case anything else comes bumping up into their ship that isn't already dead. Never hurts to be paranoid and have an itchy trigger finger in such cases, right?

He glances over his shoulder at Loki, then looks forward at the open gates ahead of them as the Milano maneuvers further into Chronux. "Welp. Don't get us killed, Quill." NO PRESSURE.

**

"Again?! I just had the windows cleaned!" Quill shouts as the corpse impacts the glass and he slams a button on the Milano's console to start the wipers. Which means this is a fairly normal thing for the Guardians to have happen. Corpses on the window and all.

Then he sees the gates there. Just a bit open. Now a normal pilot would try to ease around it. A technical pilot would get Jane to hack into it and open it. Or the Goat to punch a bigger hole. Or a Loki to magic something about it…

Thank goodness for everyone involved they have Peter Quill flying.

"Well," And there is a wicked grin on his face. "Hold on to your butts."

And he opens the Milano up. The drive systems scream with the sudden influx of power as the ship launches itself like a missile at the gates, Peter's hands slaloming the ship though the debris field towards the just wide enough gates.

He trusts Rocket to take care of any turrets or defenses as he concentrates on piloting the ship like its on some sort of rollercoster towards the gates…

"Saw this in a movie once." He drawls as he suddenly kicks the ship over on one wing seemingly at the last possible moment before screaming towards the gap, guns at the ready for surprises.

…remember Jane. You wanted to come here.

**

Bucky shoots Loki a rather dirty look as the God(dess) of Lies makes her quips about what they might or might not have expected from space. He leaves it at that, however, because he's already checking his Stuff app, scrolling through its entries to select a gear loadout for the anticipated trouble. Even before Atli warns them all to prepare themselves.

Even before she informs them that on this day, they are all FRICKIN GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY.

That Bucky doesn't flick a lash is a sign he is already getting used to this. It's all downhill from here.

"'Lucky' is a word for it, I guess," he says dryly to Rocket's comment, as he finalizes his loadout and returns his attention to the opened gates… and what Quill is doing to get them in through it. The options are clear even to someone like Bucky, who is seeing all this for the first time. Caution and prudent flying, or an full-on afterburner ride through the chaos.

…Bucky slowly settles in his chair and braces for the crazy.

**

And ever the Midgardian, with their mayfly, mortal lifetimes — alive and gone again, in the heartbeats of longer-lived aliens, Jane Foster exemplifies how such a race deals with their quick mortalities.

Quick, effortless adaptation. Getting over it — whatever It wants to be — real fast. And, as FOUL LADY LOKI makes her remarks, Dr. Foster is already on whole and complete ignore.

Uneasily taking her eyes off all that death, those frozen corpses left in an infinite stasis in the vacuum of space — terrifying to behold, even worse to think about — Jane's attention narrows back on that gate.

"Can we hold off on breaching anything? If you get me close enough — I just need a look. I think I could —" she tries. She tries.

Starlord is already gunning the engine.

The blood drains out of Jane's face. "Quill, I swear by — I don't know, Odin's EYE and Zeus's BUTTHOLE, if you even TRY — NO!"

Jane makes her first mistake on the Milano. Not remaining seated, belted, trays upright at all times. The inertia tosses her back into her chair with a shriek, and she white-knuckles and grits her teeth against INEVITABLE DEATH.

**

Not a single drop to be found, as emerald arcane energies fill the void where once flowed fresh crimson. The lifeless eyes of corpses stranded behind them glow that faint green hue as a thoughtful frown decorates the Asgardian princess' lips.

It is only then that she notices those eyes on her. That vivid green gaze rolls towards Bucky for a moment; she taps her chin considerately, even as those fine brows lift, as if wounded.

"Honestly, there's no need to mean-mug so maliciously, Master Barnes! I'm simply trying to look out for your best interests, here, so that you might be properly prepared for what lies ahead of you. Contrary to rumors, I am a changed woman, as you can plainly see." Despite the fact that none of them save the Rocket and Groot and Atli have ever seen Loki before today, but that's not relevant to the story, so shhh. "No, rather, I am simply offering a bit of altruistic advice: you'll get your opportunity to see those worser things lingering in the unseen and unspoken folds of space. And quite soon, I suspect."

But then, the Milano approaches those ominously opened gates, in what is sure to be a spectacle of daring do and fleet flightwork on the part of its sterling captain. Loki peers at that slim opening, clotted with bodies, for a long moment.

"I believe I'm with the slightly less angry drop bear on this," she declares as she defies all conventional laws of physics to stand up fully just as Quill punches down on the acceleration. "I've grown rather fond of you all being alive, after all." And so she deigns to wink at Quill encouragingly (enabling-ly), at which point one might wonder why, exactly, she hasn't included herself in the list of people she'd prefer to make it out of this space-based stunt alive.

"Much as I'd love to stick around and bear witness to this truly dashing feat of space stuntwork in what would surely be a bonding exercise for us all, I rather think expediency is the order of the day today! And so… I suppose I'll see you at the finish line."

And that is when Loki starts to glow green with an effortlessly effervescent smile and a wiggle of her fingers.

And JUST as the Milano dives towards what might be certain death, Loki Laufeydottir, Goddess of Mischief —

— disappears. Intent to teleport conveniently away.

And taking no one with her.

"I shall see you there, Frickin' Guardians of the Galaxy! Probably!"

**

Why is it that Rocket must be so funny, so daring, so dashing when Atli is trying to concentrate on rallying them all to an impossible moment of heroism. Sigh. Here she stands as soon as Quill pours on the juice, sending them towards those gates, her eyes going wide as she's flung backwards, turning to plant her feet on the aft ramp of the MIlano and raise her spear to the sky! Or the front!

"Do not worry, Lady Foster, the Lord of Stars is well known for his ability to make his way through a throng of bodies unnoticed! Usually in mornings, I understand, but in space it's always morning somewhere!"

As the Milano makes it through, turning at precisely the correct moment to avoid absolute destruction there is a sound. A scraping sound. A loud, loud scraping sound.

So maybe it wasn't quite wide enough.

It will put the Milano in a spin, but one that someone like Star-Lord can turn into just, the best spinning landing. Of course, Noble Barnes scrolling through his PHONE catches Atli's eyes, and she squints at him. "Noble Barnes, perhaps you would do well to take after my Aunt Loki, who has selflessly gone on a scouting mission for us instead of scrolling through your.. your BOOK OF FACES or whatnot. Not that I mean to chastise such a great hero as yourself…"

The wince she makes is almost disappointed in Noble Barnes, for she too has suffered the foolish millennials and their absurd tendency to stare at their phones. Really, for the beings of Midgard blessed with thousands of years of life as these millennials must be, she would expect much more. But then she remembers Noble Barnes is perhaps only a tenth that, and decides to give him an encouraging thumbs up.

"…but we must always be prepared!".

That's about when the aft ramp comes open during the slide, suddenly spilling Atli and her goat into another slide, one that sends her face-first along the floor to… maybe somewhere next to where Loki ended up? Hard to say. But what isn't hard to say is what awaits them all.

More bodies, drained dry of blood, littered over a pristine interior of white. A circular room that spans the size of the city, and yet they landed just close enough to the smaller ring of columns that contain what appears to be a glowing pool.

While Lady Loki might expect the shadowy form of a God-Killing maniac, she will find something else entirely. There before them all is a creature some twelve feet tall or more, made up of many pieces of metal, bound together by some unholy red energy that seethes from within. But that energy only flickers. And that metal looks like it's seen better days, flaking off pieces here and there, and tarnished along others. Really, it looks almost like a Bayformer that someone's kicked through hell and back, so, really it has the worst of luck. Standing before a control console, it looks up at this commotion, it's flickering red eyes fixed on the ship, and those beings in or spilled to the ground around it.

It says nothing, though it's eyes linger on Atli for a long moment, just about when Atli shakes her head, plants her spear in the ground, and looks up from where she's sprawled.

"….Decimux?!"

**

Thank goodness for everyone involved that they have Peter Quill flying? Who says that? Aside from Peter Quill, obviously.

Rocket watches his targeting systems as the Milano banks towards the narrow opening. He seems prepared for the maneuver, but then he probably would've done it himself if it were him handling the flying. It's fine though, he gets to shoot things, so for now, he's good.

Turns out there's not much to shoot, at least in terms of things trying to shoot them first. Still, the raccoonoid eyes the blips that come up, bodies and bodies…that's another body, there's another one— ooh, good thing that guy was already dead cuz that pass probably took off its head…

"Atli, why aren't you strapped i- you know what, never mind," Rocket snorts, and only seconds later cringes as the ship makes a terrific sound as Star Munch seems to have misjudged the distance for the Milano's clearance between the gate doors. The scraping continues, the raccoonoid's tail curling in, even his toes as the ship pushes through before finally being ejected into a spin. He braces himself, fingers tightening around the yoke on his side of the cockpit, ready to usurp piloting rights— and then there's the unmistakable sound of the back of the ship opening up, all sorts of warnings sounding off and probably mostly to do with the hatch popping open and sensors screaming in protest. Hopefully their remaining passengers aren't screaming too.

**

Groot, for one, has been staring too long at the bodies. They become more interesting, more grotesque the moment the Milano begins to speed up. Usually visuals like this are traumatizing for children, but Groot? His brow furrows, but fear isn't really the emotion he's going for here.

He turns his head to look at the rest of the crew, just in time to see Lady Loki vanish into thin air. "I am Groot!" A small hand points, jabbing at the spot where she should have been. "I am Groot!?"

And then the whole ship goes sideways, thanks to Quill. Luckily, the little tree is strapped in and not bouncing out of his seat onto the walls. His arms waggle up to the side, though, like he's on a roller coaster. Miniature shrieks (of fright? Glee?) are obscured by the sound of the ship screeching against the gates, clearly good to continue even after they get past this obstacle.

**

Peter Quill totally could have made that.

No seriously he totally could have.

But there were just so many strange corpses in the way! The Milano just hit one last clump and threw it off by that much.

That much of course sending it into a kind of wing-over spin.

"I got it!" Peter calls even as he knows Rocket is about to grab the yoke. "I~~~~ got it!"

And the Milano bounces. Spins. Atli goes flying out of the back of the ship.

…and the ship itself comes screeching and sparking to a halt just before hitting the opposite wall.

A pause.

"I told you I got it! Worked just like the movie."

Minor damage is awesome ok. It gives you the taste of being alive. Yes. yes it does.

He swivels around in his chair to face the open back.

"So welcome to whever the hell we—Jesus what is that?" Only now spotting the massive glowing form of the red glowing horror.

"…its like…someone tried to make one of those…Transformers. But didn't know what the hell they were. And just stuck metal all over a bad puppet…" A pause.

"Hey! Atli! Is that what you brought us here to shoot! Cause it looks like someone worked him over already!"

**

"Careful what you invoke," Bucky says of Jane's colorful statement, a little nervously. "No telling what might show up out here."

And they've already got their share of awful god(ddese)s along with them. Loki's innocence in the face of Bucky's glare just narrows those blue eyes further. "Lies is right in your job description, so you'll excuse me having my reservations on all that."

So of course shortly thereafter, Loki ditches them. Bucky exhales a sigh, but an unsurprised one.

He turns his attention to preparing for whatever might await them, which to the uninitiated eye really does look like he's just scrolling through Facebook on his phone. And while they're all spinning wildly through space, too, which is the sort of impressive screen-obsessed multitasking one might more attribute to a millennial. Her observation as such draws a critical eye, Noble Barnes' brows raising as the Goddess of Thunder attempts to tactfully imply that he should maybe not be on his phone, and should instead take a page from Dear Aunt Loki's book of due diligence. Er — not that she means to chastise a great hero such as him —

"…Buuuut you're chastising me," Bucky finishes for Atli, dryly. "All right, you wanna see what I was scrolling through?"

That is about when he holds out his phone to one side and pulls a .50 caliber rifle out of it.

And just in time, as upon their arrival, it becomes very plain that something bad happened here… and that the figure that awaits them is…

Well, Atli announces it. "That doesn't sound good," Bucky murmurs to Jane, sotto voce. Louder, hiking his weapon to his shoulder in readiness, "Seconding the question if we're shooting…"

**

The ship has landed. The crew has piled out. They wonder if this is an enemy.

"Nay, stay your hands companions! This is Decimux, Guardian of the Bifrost! But Decimux…how did you survive the Butcher of Worlds? How is it that you have come here?!" Atli's words have a hint of desperation, as if this being might hold answers to questions she never hoped might be solved.

The being stares at them all, plated metal suffused with crimson, and eyes that bore through dimensional boundaries to see what is and was and could be. Or at least they did, once, long ago. Broken down and held together by energies not of this dimension that flicker to near fading, it removes it's hand from the control console near the portal, settling that crimson gaze on Jane Foster. But when it speaks, molten rock over a digital mountainscape, it borbles forth words meant for someone else.

"Loki the Exile. Loki, the Betrayer of an entire Universe. Loki, who I saw trick you into Chronux's portal, little Atli. The goatlords tried to avenge you. Toothgrinder first."

Here Toothbender lifts his head, suddenly attentive.

"And a swing of Loki's spear shattered the goat into a thousand bloody pieces. Toothgnasher had little left to lose, and thought to charge through the Betrayer's back, but he too was struck down, his head shattered to oblivion."

Toothbender, heir to the Goatlords, slowly turns his goatly gaze towards Loki.

Finally, Decimux looks away from Jane, and towards Bucky, then Groot, and Rocket too. It pointedly stops at Peter Quill, head tilting as some rage from a bygone past simmers in it's heart. But soon that is gone too. "Then i followed, while Loki was distracted. With my vision, I looked to your future. This was the only place I could be, because this is where you had a plan. A plan to fix everything. I only knew it was possibly when I saw that both Thor and Loki both would be with you."

Atli turns then, her face alight with something near hope, but close to madness. "If Decimux can see my plan's completion, then it must mean it shall work! It must mean tha-wait. I didn't bring Thor along. Verily, what ever are you talking about Decimux, have you gone mad in your old a-"

And it's about that time that Toothbender, Angry Space Goat, full rainbow-charges at Loki - and right towards Chronux's simmering, wan-blue time portal which rather looks like the world's brightest, bottom lit swimming pool.

**

"….so we don't shoot this guy?" Rocket asks, looking a little confused as he arches a fuzzy brow, lowering his rifle just slightly from where he'd had it propped against his shoulder and ready to go. "Did we waist a perfectly good entrance?" If…perfectly good entrances meant getting nearly stuck between a narrow opening and sent spinning and screeching to a halt.

As the one called Decimux speaks in response to Atli, the raccoonoid keeps his weapon trained and ears perked as he listens. He slowly turns his head to look over in Loki's direction, and then back towards- oh, he sees the look the space goat gives Atli's current aunt. That's probably not good. If there was a question of sentience or at the very least, understanding in regards to the goat, that look about covers everything.

Rocket squints at the glowing red gaze turned in his direction, sneering just a little, his finger twitching a bit over the trigger, but if this isn't the guy they're supposed to shoot in the face, then who is?

Atli's questioning something different, and to be honest Rocket's still confused as to how everything's working here when he catches that blur and flare of light out of the corner of his eye, and he turns to see Toothbender's charge.

"Oh sh—"

**

Somewhere along the exchange between Asguardian and giant robot-like Guardian, Groot stops listening. He stops listening shortly after Decimux takes a good, long once-over at the whole crew, the little shrub hand still up in the waving position as his head and eyes turn to wherever his attention wanders off to.

Nowadays, how often do they get to stop on a different planet? There's bound to be stuff to look at, even if it is rather…well. Abandoned. Dead. A mess. He doesn't mind, though. Adventure is full of surprises!

Like the charging Space Goat Friend now filled with the rage of a thousand suns. He didn't expect that at all! "-I am Groot!*"

(* Translate as you will.)

**

Peter Quill knows the value of a good entrance. He knows the value of a few things really. Most of the time he just chooses to ignore them. However the spinning crash, the flamboyant disembarking(because it isn't a crash its a /plan/) the quips, and the spectacle that they make is just about perfect…

"…you know, Rocket. I think we did. Goddamit." Star-lord grumbles as he lowers his pistols, frowning slightly. "I mean why did I even do that kind of entrance if we aren't going to shoot anything?" One pistol going back in a holster as the Leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy looks…mildly annoyed.

"…well if we aren't shooting anyone maybe there is some salvage we can make some profit off of…"

It is sad when you realize that Gamora was the moral compass of this group.

But then Decimux is speaking and Quill squints slightly towards the robot. Then back at Loki. Then back towards the Goatlordling.

A pause.

"…er…Atli before you worry about plans you should talk to your goat. Befor—"

…and the Goat is blasting off…

"THAT HAPPENS!"

**

So we don't shoot this guy?

"That's what I want to know," Bucky says. He doesn't lower his own weapon. Most of what's getting said escapes him, but he's listening anyway.

Well, up until the goat decides to take matters into its own hooves.

"I'm assuming that's not the plan?"

Loki, of course, has disappeared. But it's for a good cause. As it always is. Not that she doesn't have utmost faith in Peter Quill's piloting abilities, of course.

And she maintains that utmost faith even as the ship all but crash lands its way through the opened gates of Chronux. See? In a hundred years' time, this will be sung of a most heroic and epic storming of the gates of the gods at the fringes of all that was! And if anyone dies in the crash, they too will be celebrated as heroes whose noble sacrificed paved the way to ultimate victory!

And people act like Loki doesn't care.

But lest we forget the throughline of this tale, hark now to a spanner in the works! As the noble sidekicks of the lovable Lady Loki stumble their way out of the ship to their destination, they will find their leader and role model valiantly taking up the role of vanguard into this dark and dangerous place, strewn with butchered bodies of once vital gods.

Standing before a butcher of machine and red rage, rather than one of flesh and simmering shadow.

Deities decorate floors like carpet around the boot-clad feet of Loki, the toe of one of which currently occupied with nudging one of said bodies as if to elicit life from a corpse through the most loving and tender of touches (kicks). And it just lurches, lifelessly. Lady Loki makes a face, which is one most aggrieved and not disgusted.

"Ugh. For Custodians of Time, they certainly had an impeccably bad sense of timing."

And it is then, and only then, that Loki tilts her gaze upwards towards the machine that seethes crimson light with all the fury of a dying star that will not go quiet. So large is the foe before the trickster, and made of so many shards of incomprehensible metal. But, lady that she is, Loki, of course, takes to greeting the obvious scourge before them with the polite, respectful flourish of a bow.

"You know quite a few names for me! I'd be dutifully impressed, if it wasn't in such a narrow scope. Isn't it funny, how we shape our gods through the titles we weave? For example, what would it look like, if we turned such a lens on you?"

A smile, friendly, charming. An eloquent flourish.

"Decimux, the Infiniplex. Decimux, the Iteration-Eater. Decimux, Scourge of the Gods."

An eloquent flourish, to indicate the host of corpses that so surround them all, certainly not to distract from the way her opposite fingers start to glow a subtle green shade at their tips. Toothbender's head rises. Loki seems not to notice. Atli enthuses. And in the midst of it, as her realization comes, the trickster speaks.

"And what manner of god butcher committed these heinous acts, I wonder? Perhaps not one of flesh and vengeance, but one of steel and purpose—"

And lo, watch, as Loki the Redeemed is so heartlessly betrayed by the goats she once so helped bring together under a loving master! There is a shimmer, a shift imperceptible to the senses, as several hundred pounds of Furious Space Goat collides with Loki, horns-first. A CRACK, a 'WHOOF,' and Loki is lifted off her feet —

"Get off of me! It's hardly the first time they've ever died—"

— and the spell she was so carefully weaving misfires, bands of emerald intended for Decimux, of course, snaking out…

… and ensnaring Peter Quill instead.

"— I introduced your parents, you ungrateful, trash-eating space ass—!"

To bring him along for the ride, right into those wide, shimmering pools of temporal blood.

**

Bands of green energy wrap around Peter Quill's form and for a moment the one known as Star-lord is completely struck speechless.

Then the moment passes.

"Well that can't be good…" Then he finds himself drawn like a landed fish into the portal itself. "WE BETTER BE GETTING PAID DOUBLE FOR THI—"

**

"…."

"—dibs on his stuff!" Rocket says, after a brief mental debate.

**

And there goes Loki and Quill. Groot angrily stomps a foot, shooting a look at Rocket. "I am GROOT!"

Because surely he's saying 'We have to help them!' and not 'NOT FAIR! I wanted his bed!'

**

In the ever-evolving list of 'top five weirdest shit to have happen to her', Jane is quietly figuring right here and now well enough to merit medalling. That is, until something far more weirdly shit-y comes in to trump it. Probably will happen next week, she figures, by the way her life is going.

But, in the end, if there's any armor in her to all this, it's Dr. Foster's quick and innate adaptability. No wasted time sputtering and questioning her reality or asking existential questions of the resident probably-timeless, immortal, metal — someone, who keeps eyeing her up (he has eyes, right?) in a way she can neither completely qualify or particularly like.

Something she does like, however, is Toothbender's highly justified betrayal on Loki, though still enough a surprise that Jane half-steps back towards Bucky, because that sure just happened. A pause. "So, it's not like we really need her."

That's Jane's opinion on the matter of Loki possibly lost in space and time.

And then Loki makes sure to take Peter Quill with. Jane winces, because fine, she supposes there's some indecision about that one. She sighs. "I guess we need that one, though."

**

…and it might be just about now that Rocket realizes something terrible.

Quill? Is the one with the keys.

**

The great metal being looks at Loki through his cascade of names, unmoving, unwavering, emotionless to a fault. Because Loki, for all his clarity in describing Decimux to them, also left out one name, the one that best describes it's current state. It helps, just after Loki disappears.

"The Broken."

The last thing they will hear of the trio entering the portal is the roar of goatly justice. But really, all Atli can think about is how very upsetting that Toothbender of all creatures was the first she has ever known to charge Loki successfully. She throws her arms up in the utmost frustration. "Fool of a goat, you'll ruin my plan to fix everything! Come, Starway Companions, an adventure waits for us in the Portal of Time. Decimux, stay here, for we will need someone to retrieve us and as much as I would only trust Jane Foster with science devices, you are made of a lot of metal so I am sure you'll do. Besides, I will need her giant brain to come with us, if we're going to fix everything."

Atli's logic is undeniable.

"Noble Barnes, since Decimux has anticipated my plan, I have some idea where we shall arrive. I will need you, most of all, for to power the trip back we shall need to enter Asgard's vault, and find something powerful enough for Decimux to lock onto. And.. it just so happens your arm is very much like the Destroyer's. Actually, it's quite odd. Your arm, Grandfather's, the Destroyer's. It is as if they were all created from the same imagination. Or at the very least, the same mold." She leans in a little to Bucky. "Though I like yours the most."

That done, Atli turns to the rest, her spear drawn and raised to the sky. "Jane Foster, Sorceress Supreme, Earth's Mightiest Wizard, Noble Barnes, the Unstoppable Warrior, Fair Rocket, and Wise Groot, join me now to save Toothbender, and perhaps also Quill and my horrible aunt, who though redeemed, well. Let's be honest, is still probably The Worst."

This said, she takes a few steps backward and falls into the bright oblivion of the portal.

**

"I like it too," Rocket says helpfully Bucky-wards, deciding to add his two-cents. Since we're admiring metal robo-arms and all.

Oh, right. What're they talking about?

"-Wait, we're all s'pposed 'ta jump in the big swirly vortex? You sure about that?" Because no one told him about jumping into unknown depths without sufficient armor surrounding them, like the Milano.

But Atli's already steps back into the thing, leaving Rocket to sigh. "Great." He looks at the swirling portal before turning to look at Bucky and Jane. "All in favor of going back to the ship— ….okay, I kid."

"…."

"…….."

"….I'm just sayin' that's an option!"

Then he turns and looks back at the thing, brow furrowing as he depowers his rifle and slings it behind him. He reaches over to scoop up Groot. "Here goes everything," he mutters, and then taking a breath like he's about to leap into the sea, he takes a few running steps and jumps…

**

"I am Groot!" Finally getting aboard the 'help' train, the little tree tyke is ready. The initial plan he had in mind to try stopping the goat was to use over-extended arms to reel the three in before they went any further down the water-looking hole. A simple plan, but it was a plan nonetheless.

But as he tries casting his now-growing arms, Rocket scoops him up like a toy.

"-I am Groot?" He sounds confused, but appears to be fine with this option. Smushing himself against Rocket's suit, he sits tight, arms sort of fluttering behind them as they go in.

**

Loki disappears. This is frankly fine with Bucky.

Then Loki takes Quill with her. This would… probably still be kind of fine with Bucky, except they need someone to drive back. Bucky exhales a sigh.

He turns to Atli as the Asgardian outlines the adapted plan. Finally putting up his weapon — there doesn't seem to be an immediate use for it — he nods curtly. "Just point me in the right direction."

As far as his arm? "Of course, mine is the best," he agrees. "Jane made it. Stands to reason people would be copying it."

A pause. "People still can't have it."

It seems it's time to follow into the portal, however, which is not really Bucky's idea of a good time, but, well, Quill has the keys. "If only," he says grimly to Rocket's joke, before he glances at Jane, reaches for her hand, and follows.

**

"I mean, we kinda owe Quill one from a while back," Jane negotiates, with just enough humoured softness to her voice to insinuate she's joking. OR IS SHE. "Or I think? Come to think of it, I don't think he actually did anything, and that thong of mine is still missing ever since —"

Then Rocket says that Peter left. With the keys. Jane makes a face. "I guess it's settled then. All in favour of a big dramatic rescue of the keys, and possibly Quill, and that's about it?"

Mostly, if not all in jest, words to fill the time, because Jane's brown eyes aren't averting from the Einstein-Rosen bridge swirling so close. Certainly not the first she's seen, and unfortunately not yet one her own hands have crafted (soon, Jane), but the devoted obsessee in her cannot help but hold the sight in quiet reverence.

Her attention breaks at Bucky's compliment of her craftmanship — though to wonder why there are similar makes of her design is a question, something she remembers for later — slipping him first a look, and then her hand, when he reaches for hers. Her eyebrows hike up at Atli's swift drop straight through the portal, followed by the less-than-enthusiastic Rocket (and tiny ride-along Groot), Jane — pauses.

"Don't worry," she tells Bucky on the precipice, "there shouldn't be any danger involved. Usually we'd already be irradiated to death by it already if there was. Just don't hold your breath."

Creeping at the corners of her face comes a reckless sort of grin, and hand squeezing his, Jane jumps in.

**

Time bends, but their bodies do not, as a corridor of light surrounds them in much the same way the Bifrost might. It fills the ears with a cacophonous roar, the mind with visions of past, present - even future - and so they all may get a glimpse of things to come. And when the energies come to pass, their vision will clear and a soft breeze will sweep over them all, carrying the honeyed scent of a great many exotic flowers. Here they will find themselves at the place Atli was certain her plan would take place. But it is no final battle with Gorr, as they might expect. Instead, something altogether different.

THE GREAT GARDEN OF ASGARD.

Filled with a great many pathways, all overcast with trees of all sorts and thick with bushes and shrubbery of all kinds, it is a place of green and grandeur. It is also a place where Atli bids them all to hunker down for a moment, because very nearby, near the base of a tree, is… is that a snake?

"Now this is very important. Because Loki and Quill went through first and time is unpredictable, it could be that my Aunt Loki is already ruining everything here. It also could be that Quill has infiltrated the locals and is already well on his way to starting a civil war of some sort with all of the Asgardian girls he's no doubt.. well. You know Quill. But that doesn't matter. Rather than track them down, we need only fix everything."

Of course, snakes aren't deaf, like Atli thinks they are, so this particular snake is going to hear everything.

"So, what we do is rather simple." Atli gesticulates, meeting all of their gazes. "That snake over there? That is the child version of Loki, believe it or not, waiting to ambush my grandfather, who loves snakes and would like to pick him up to admire him, but we all know how that goes. Instead we need to ambush the snake, and very kindly explain that Odin is a horrible father, which he is, and that he should come with us. Then, after twenty or so earth years of being raised by Noble Barnes and Jane Foster, we can return him, and he'll have all of the wonderful values of the two most wonderful, moral heroes on all of Earth. Which should prevent him from ever doing any of the horrible things he's ever done, including destroy that town you so loved, and also stab my grandfather through the heart. So, as I said before."

Here, she fishes out her paper, carefully unfolds it, and displays it to them all as if a diagram, while giving a slow nod.

'Fix Everything'

**

It's only a minor relief that Rocket doesn't need to deploy his aero-rig after all. "Where the hell…" he starts, looking around as his nose is assaulted by the scent of flowers.

He pauses, eyeing the snake, because maybe it's some inherent animal instinct where you don't let your attention shift from something potentially predatory. Already he's unslinging his rifle because as pretty as a picture as this place is, he doesn't trust it for a second. They jumped in a flippin' warphole after all, so something bad's bound to happen.

"Stay close, Groot," he says once the tree squirt's set down.

Slowly he turns to look at Atli, who's already launched into her plan of attack. Or something. Squint. If the rest of the party's here, he's going to give them each a look to see how they're taking this before he returns his attention to Atli.

"…so. We're screwin' around with time, making Anakin and Jane foster parents to a snake that's actually your future uncle-aunt-something-or-other from a potentially alternate universe in order to stop what now? I thought we were going after some other guy! Back at Cronuts!"

**

Oh, but Groot likes this setting already. It's so much nicer. Fresher. Pretty!

'Stay close, Groot.' Although his arms return to their normal length after the trip, the small tree-person touches down onto the grass, giggling despite the fact they're supposed to be hiding themselves. He even plays with the grass as Atli speaks, busying himself with admiring and then eating it straight up.

See, this would have been fine if Groot kept his head in the moment and listened to what was going to go down.

Except Groot doesn't listen. Groot follows the beat of his own drum, especially at this age.

He toddles off, straying past the parameter his furry Guardian mentally marks…to go talk to the snake. Because that's all he's heard. And talking to a snake sounds like a fun thing to do!

"I am Groot!" Funny how far away he sounds. It's like he's not even with the group anymore.

**

Jane's idea of 'don't worry' raises Bucky's brows. He knows better than to ask what happens if he holds his breath — he already has a good guess. "You have a very odd way of telling someone not to worry," he says, visibly grumpy. He might still be cranky about the mention of the thong in mixed company, a remark which had led him to give Jane the most scandalized look known to man.

After that, a portal is really no big. Right?

Wrong. While there is no physical harm to fear, there are less understandable things that happen along the way. The things Bucky might or might not see he keeps to himself, as usual, though his mood is somber when they finally arrive in an… unexpectedly pleasant place.

And Atli tells them all a story about Thor and Loki-snake, and about the next phase of her plan.

There is a brief silence, broken first by Rocket's incredulity. Bucky wears no expression at all.

"You should usually ask people before you saddle them with a kid for twenty years," he says, dry. "Not to mention disrupt an entire timeline."

**

There is no immediate sign of Loki — the other Loki — their Loki — anywhere. What a travesty! Surely there is nothing with more cause to weep over.

Quill must have kicked her out of the timestream, the monster.

There is, however, very much so a snake there, bright green in a way that makes it stand out even against the grass, just kind of… basking in the perfect Asgardian sun in the perfect Asgardian palace in perfect Asgardian paradise. That is Asgard.

It looks completely at peace, and completely harmless, and completely sweet. You know. For a snake. Awww. Look at it. Just snake-restin'. Do you really want to disturb that poor snake enjoying its nap??

**

No civil war.

No familiar cursing. But also no sign of Peter Quill.

Mysterious~~~~

However, very near to the snake and the entrance of our intrepid 'heroes' is what suspiciously looks like an impact crater in the ground. Perhaps where someone landed. Like. A week or two ago.

But the crater is bigger.

Bigger than Quill is at least.

Almost as if Quill canonballed into something much bigger while being whipped around like a tetherball.

It'll be fine. He's bound to show up eventually.

…right?

**

'See, our lungs didn't pop at all from pressure differentials! Like I knew they wouldn't, unlike certain hack theories out of Stanford,' is something Jane Foster would victoriously announce on the other side of the Einstein-Rosen bridge — if not for the trip itself. It's not some objective tunneling that she can parse and measure for later mathematical validity, but like seeing her own life on circular rewind, memories old and new patchworked into each other. Nearly all of them make her heart twinge, especially when one slips past wearing her father's face that she'd not seen that way in a decade — how so much detail gets lost over the years, even to an eidetic mind like hers.

Spit out on the other side, Jane similarly shares Bucky's quiet, though hers is a little breathless, moments wasted taking stock of the new world what awaits them. Bucky, himself, earns her attention, and her hand briefly on his arm — you all right? — as she counts to make sure everyone's present.

And Atli is already hypothesizing what could have happened in the time differential. Jane grimaces. "Atli, I came aboard on this expecting nothing to make sense, but please, stop talking about Quill Games of Throning up entire worlds, please."

As for that whole grand happy ending of the Barnes-Foster household adopting and raising Loki, any grand reaction that she has stops at basically:

"OK, can that, I'll take the Game of Quills over ever — wait a SNAKE?" Jane shrieks, somehow jumping about a foot in the air, nearly ready to hide behind Bucky. "WHERE? Keep it away!"

That about answers that option.

**

Fair Rocket mentions Gorr once more, and she waves her hands. "Gorr won't be able to enact his plan any longer with all of the Time Keepers inexplicably dead of natural causes. Besides, I'm certain that is also somehow Loki's fault."

As much as Atli would like to be able to deflect most adversity presented to this plan of hers, Bucky Barnes, an elemental force of common sense and sobriety, lays it on Atli with a dryness that causes Atli to fall into an escalating wince.

"Right. Sssssssssorry."

This said through the wince-turned grimace, and then she offers a counterpoint, however meager. "On the other hand, you might very well be saving millions of lives or more. Tales are told of whole planets falling to my Aunt's madness. Or was he my Uncle then? In any case, this is not a fate I could force upon anyone, certainly. And it is not that I meant to.. I simply…"

There is a distance in her gaze that grows and grows and she sees her Grandfather speared through again and again, and all of creation tumble down around her. ".. you are right. There is no excuse, Noble Barnes. My grandfather once told me how you guarded after young Steven Rogers, how you shaped the greatest hero Midgard had ever known, and after seeing the love between you and Lady Foster, a love that could fix all of time if shared with a certain onory God of Mischief, I simply forgot myself." A beat. "…and quite honestly I had forgotten that twenty years was a long time for humans. Verily, perhaps I am the worst. What even day is it?"

Atli can at least be thankful that Jane isn't angry with her, and instead clearly excited to see Loki in his sleek snake form. Look how sleek! Fists on her hips, she looks to the snake, and then back at the shrieking Jane. "Oh, he's right over there, right next to Groot."

Then Atli's smile begins to fade.

Right. Next. To. Groot.

The background seems to shrink away from her for a moment, and she whirls about. "Groot wait, that is no toy, that snake is family and also a bit of a dick!"

**

Rocket may just be a teensy bit concerned for the lack of one Star Lord in their company. The impact zone nearby is eyed with just a little more worry, but if indeed that is/was Crater Quill, then… Well, crap.

Scratching his head, the raccoonoid looks up, realizing something else important as the others more or less agree with what he had to say earlier. Groot had sounded a lot further off than he should have been if he were standing at his feet. Rocket jams a finger into his ear, thinking maybe that's the problem as he twists about to dislodge any earwax- but his eyes trail over towards the snake that Atli so helpfully points out as Jane begins to panic.

"Groot!"

He dashes after the tree tyke. "What'd I glarkin' tell you?!" Doesn't seem like he's concerned about disturbing anyone's sleep, snake or otherwise.

**

Snakes are friends. Groot knows they are. He's sure he learned about them in one of those nature documentaries that came up in the list of related searches on Netflix. Or maybe he just saw it and didn't pay attention to the fact that they can be jerks because of the prey/predator hierarchy.

…It will be fine. It will allll be fine.

But yes, he is the one who wants to disturb snake slumber and say hello to the nice shade of green. Green is good. Green is plants. Chlorophyll. Bouncing in his step, he smiles widely at the snake, waving his little arms in the air. "I am Groot-"

He immediately winces when his name is called out in that tone. Atli's warning and Jane's shrieking only cushion it, more or less, but he whirls around to yell back at Rocket. "I am Groot!"

**

"Might be," Bucky acknowledges. "But you can't know for sure, can you? Even if we do this, cancel out all the things your aunt — uncle — Loki did, there's just no telling what kind of ramifications that has further down the chain."

He relents a little bit when Atli admits that tales of his protection of Steve Rogers, and of his relationship with Jane Foster, were the motivation for her 'plan,' but he doesn't seem about to relent on his opinion that this perhaps isn't the best idea. And not just because it saddles him with teen Loki for twenty years, but because of the unknowable ripple effects.

As for twenty years being a long time for humans? "Most of us," he says wryly. "Yeah."

He's quickly distracted when Jane shrieks, immediately and automatically whipping back towards her… only to sigh when he realizes the source of her distress. "Jane, it's just — " he starts, only to pause when he notices a feature of the landscape not far away from the Snake. And the Groot very near the Snake.

"I think we should probably be worrying about that crater too," he says, already lifting his rifle again.

**

The Snake, it seems, is quite happy to nap away in the sun, even as everyone else argues. You'd think someone as crafty as a bored teenaged Loki would recognize a bunch of people only halfway trying to hide while hotly debating things and freaking out over snakes, but there is the Snake, just chilling out. Must be a deep sleep.

And it's a sleep that seems like it's going to endure, before…

Groot!

A single, slitted eye cracks open.

I am Groot!

And as Groot whirls around to face Rocket, the Snake's head lifts up, to peer at all of them. It's head tilts. It's so adorable. Look at that adorable little snake.

Which is about when the green of it starts to glow. Shimmer. Shift. Maybe Loki is changing back to normal. Maybe the trickster's trap has been spoiled. Is this the reveal of Jane and Bucky's new future son/daughter/Loki-lovechild…?!

And that transformation lasts exactly as long as it takes for the dread of anticipation settles in, before the glamour fades to reveal something tiny. Scaly. Big antlers. Ugly face contorting with fury.

And so out of the haze of green magics comes charging a big bad baby Bilgesnipe, snorting a tantrum-filled yelp as it tries to just tackle into poor, tiny Groot, all flailing antlers and snapping teeth.

"GRRRRR!"

So Kid Loki was actually an adorable baby Bilgesnipe all along……..

Wait. No. That's not right. Seems like some precocious trickster pulled the ol' switcheroo. But at least they got a tiny little killing machine instead. Just look at it. So sweet, and full of murder. Like their very own Shaggy-Doo.

**

Elsewhere in this pristine garden of the immortals…

There is a sudden snort as a figure sits up, the echos of Jane's shriek still rattling around inside the figures skull in a familiar and unwelcome manor.

…this is the worst hangover Peter Quill has ever had in his life.

Which really is saying something right there.

"…tha' hell…" He mutters, voice thick as a shadow falls over him.

"AH LAD!" Booms a voice that sends every king of bladed weapon imaginable into the throbbing center of Quill's hung over head. "YOU AWAKE! For a lad with the name Lord of Stars you must not have tasted the fine drops of Asgardan Mead! Come now that you are awake you can sup upon these Burgers of Ham that you created while filled with the joy of the honey wine!"

Volstagg, member of the Warriors Three and boon companion of Thor himself booms with laughter. Laughter that is immediately cut off. "I do not understand though, lad. Why are these called burgers of ham when there is no pork in them?"

At this point Peter Quill just wants to die.

Instead though he hauls himself up. "Oh my god, where am I." A pause. "What day is it?" A pause. "What year is it?!"

Volstagg slams one huge meaty paw on Quill's back, flinging him forwards. "AH MORTALS! So fragile! Come now, awake friend it is time to sup!"

"I think I'm gonna be sick."

"That is just quitter talk, lad! Have some more mead and let us be off! There are more trolls to slay!"

Which is about when Peter hears the shrill call of 'I AM GROOT!' followed by the strangely high pitched growl of a Bilgesnipe.

"…oh hell. Not again." He mutters as he starts to get up, to stumble his way towards the noise.

"LAD! COME BACK! YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED YOUR BURGERS OF HAM!"

"They are called Hamburgers!"

"Oh…Midgard is a strange place."

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 License