Fun Gai Punch

May 10, 2018:

(NSFW - Language, Innuendo) Felicia Hardy wrong place wrong time meets the D-List revenge seeking crew of Kite Man, Kangaroo, Matador II and Codpiece. (emits by Taskmaster)

Characters

NPCs: Kite Man, Matador II, Codpiece, Kangaroo, the Crane

Mentions:

Plot:

Mood Music: [*\# None.]


Fade In…

In daylight hours, The Black Cat is rarely seen. But then, neither is Felicia Hardy. She prefers life behind the mask, and lives there as much as possible. But today, in the darkened depths of a Thai shop, a platinum-haired woman wearing black leather pants, boots, and jacket speaks quietly to the shop owner, who has come up from the back to see her. She glances around cautiously and takes a plain manila envelope, small and worn, and bulging in the middle. She doesn't even peek at its contents, but swiftly pockets it in one fluid motion.

"Thank you, I'll be in touch." With an economy of words, she wraps up the transaction, and disappears out the back door of the shop.

The back alley of the Thai shop is a straight north to south exit, trucks pass through here constantly, there is limited room for parking unless you drive a delivery bike, moped or cycle but right now, there is a truck backing down it. The backup alert noisy with a constant beep until it stops just at Felicia Hardy's shoes. A plain white thing the sticker on the back says Delaware and 'How is My Driving'.
There is a clatter of sounds inside and the door slides open with that grater lifting rattle.

Looking up Felicia will see a barrel, it is not held by a hand no, it is attached to a colorful red clad waist, the affixed weapon is large technogadget over exaggerated, lit up along the sides with glowing lights and it's wielder is a man of near average height, muscular under a purple-blue costume. He stares down at the woman with a sneer, only his lower face and blue eyes visable in his uniform.
"Like what you see, girl?" The man taunts.

"She just came out of the Crane's shop, Codpiece." Another man behind the horribly adorned villain inside that trailer states, "We should take her too." This one, he looks to be wearing all green and yellow, a ridiculous Kite like symbol on his chest and over his back, worn across his shoulders.

"Do you work for the Crane?" The lap-laser jerks upwards threateningly.
"Just… just make her get in the truck, man. We'll gather up Crane and the rest."

Felicia smirks as she looks from the barrel up into the half-face of her accoster. "Sure, I like what I see, if you're into LARPers that are hung like a plasma cannon. A little one." Her gaze flits between the two men, and she just shrugs. "I don't work for anybody but Hooters, but if ya want some wings, yer in luck. Two fer one special, if ya get there by two. Have I done something wrong, Barbrady? Or can I get to work?" She makes an effort to move around the truck and bypass the duo completely.

"You couple of drongos. This job supposed to be a piece of piss. Whats taking so long?" The passenger's voice can be heard, Felicia has just slipped into his path. A tall man, broad shouldered with what can only be described as a hair cut out of the 70s, blonde and on the side of hairy but tanned. He wears a vest only, loose pants and boots. Wrapped up his forearms are wristbands and lacing. Upon seeing the white haired woman in fromt of him he whistles, "Well hello, sheila."

"What, what fuck did she say, did she say small?" Codpiece actually goes red in the face. His teammate behind him grabs bicep and squeezes it, "Keep your head in the game, Cod."
"Kite Man, touch me again and I'm going to blast you and her."
"Listen to her, shes probably jus… wait, whats in your hand?" Kite-Man points at the manilla envelope. "Show us that and we'll let you go safely."
"Wasting time you shits." The blond man in front of Felicia says, his arms folding over his chest. Despite his words hes not budging from in front of her.
"Shut up, Kangaroo. You heard him bitch, give over the envelope." Codpiece snaps, clearly the hothead of the trio. The driver also yet to be seen.

Felicia shrugs and pulls a worn manila envelope from her pocket and tosses it to Kite-Man. "Fine, but don't lose it. D'you know how long it took me to find a food recipe for Cashew Tofu? It's always all squidgy, and this guy does it just right. All crispy and chewy and JUST the right amount of heat. I think it's because he fries it first…bit my God it's like a party in my mouth."

Kite Man catches the envelope and peels it open while Codpiece hops down and looks like he wants to hit Felicia but he doesn't instead turning and thrusting his hips out towards the back fo the Thai shop.

"Shoot through, sweets. Before you really rack him off and he points that stiffy at you again." The big Australian blonde tells her, jutting a thumb over his shoulder. He then slaps the side of the truck, "Be ready Matador! We're about to get the goods."

"Shes a witness!" Kite Man says, looking up distracted from the envelopes contents.
"So what, we got got costumes." They do at least, Kangaroo doesn't.

"FUCK YOuuuuuuuu!" Roars Codpiecee as a glow of energy emits from the tip of that crotch-blaster and suddenly a flash of light tears free of it and a hole erupts in to the Thai shop's back wall, blowing the inside open and revealing a smoking mess, men and wome, customers and workers alike screaming as debris flies in all directions, cover being sought. The information broker inside, the Crane a bald old man who claims to be from Taiwan remains curled low, hands above his head as the smoke clears he can be seen fumbling for his phone, mashing buttons on it.

"TAKE ANOTHER BITCHES!" Codpiece thrusts his hips again and fires off another laser, it rips through the shop and blows out the front of the structure, causing a car parked on the street to explode.

"Grab Crane!" Kite Man shouts.

Kangaroo gives another look at Felicia then HOPS with a shocking fast and powerful leap through the air in to the smokey ruined interior.

"Tsk….now they shouldn'ta done that…." Felicia lifts a gloved hand toward Cod piece and shoots a small grappler straight at his waist, the tines hooking on his barrel. She gives it a hard pull, which for her is about the equivalent of a Willies with a winch, to pull the weapon free. Whether she succeeds or not, she fires another, wide of her body, from her other glove and releases the cabled projectile as it wraps around his biceps and binds them down against his body. From beneath the back of her jacket, she pulls a handgun and moves behind Codpiece, burying the barrel against his jaw from behind. "Nobody's taking anything. You boys need a time out."

Codpiece is in his excitement about to fire off another shot when that line cords about his weapon, it doesn't yank it off of the sturdy attachment point but spins him so he is facing her and Kite Man's direction, the truck. Then shes got him bound by the biceps and a gun to his head.

"I TOLD YOU I shoulda blasted this skank!"

Kite Man crumples the envelope and its contents in to his body pouches, his hands coming up to show his palms. "Whoah, hey, whats with the gun lady?"

Kangaroo hefts up Crane over his shoulder and strides towards the three, "Fuck sake, mates. She a cop? Whats with the pea shooter?"

"Thats what I am asking!"

"Let me go, bitch." Codpiece snarls. "If you don't let me go now you're going to be hurting."

"Hace rato que esperamos!?" The driver apparently firing Spanish back at them, "What is happening back there? We going, yes?"

"Hold up, Matador. We got a situation." Kite Man explains. "Gun down and walk away, chick."

Kangaroo calmly throws Crane in to the truck clambering in with. Either he doesn't fear Felicia and her firearm or he doesn't give two shits about Codpiece.

And that is the moment that Felicia realizes that Kangaroo doesn't give two shits about Codpiece. Instead, she lowers her firearm calmly but swiftly, and she shoots out both tires on the side of the truck facing her, and she returns the gun to its original target. "I'm already hurtin'. You guys have my recipe or whatever. So let's all just take a deep breath and back this up just a little. The way I figure it, I have a clearshot at Codstain here, and your multicultural friend behind the wheel. You guys have a clear shot at fuck-all with Codstain in front of me. Let's use what little brains we have amongst us to come up with a plan that suits all our needs, yeah?"

There is a rumble of laughter from Kangaroo and it is joined by Kite Man. "Shoot him." They both say in unison.

Codpiece lets out a noise and then fires that laser straight down at the cement and it thrusts him backwards, knocking him in to Felicia and causing him to ram in to her but also if she doesn't resist the force of it they're both going to be flip-flopping across the alleyway. Hopefully he doesn't get shot! Especially that such a close range…

Kite Man leaps away from where the shot came down, sprawling across the ground in a fumble thats not very graceful.

Kangaroo covers his face, "Bloody ass!" Crane tries to run past only to get a swift chop to the neck and shoulders, dropping him like a sack of potatos. "Stay down."

Cat hops backwards, her reflexes saving her for the briefest of seconds as the blast thrusts Kangaroo backward, but he quickly catches up, and knocks her down. She hits the ground and stays there, taking a pretty good knock to the back of her head head on the pavement as Codpiece lands on her to plant her there. Codpiece, however, bounces off and tumbles across the alley. While the world spins sideways for Felicia, she tries to get her bearings and sees only flashes of light in front of her eyes.

Codpiece staggers up and his hand reaches down to grab Felicia by the cheeks and lift her face up, "Bitch, stupid bitch. I should make you paste."
"Lets go!" Kangaroo yells.

Codpiece stares down at Felicia and with a wide large smirk he SMACKS her roughly across the face with that oversized blaster, using it like a cudgel. Further adding to the hurt shes likely already feeling. A mushroom stamp… it just happened! "Ahhh now that pleases me. Say down!" He yells at her and starts to run to the truck that is pulling forward with a rumble, peeling out of the alleyway. Kangaroo gives a wave as Kite Man and Codpiece pile in, the drawn door being slammed shut.

Felicia will awaken a few minutes later no on the alleyway streets but a nearby rough and hot rooftop. She finds staring up at a skull. Death? Did she die? No. It is a man with a mask on, his dark eyes visible beyond the white and grinning visage of teeth.
"Wakey wakey. Got some questions for you… " A voice that sounds electronic and distorted, deep and growly Decepticon style.

To Be Continued…

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