Think Happy Thoughts

May 04, 2018:

Nate tries to help Lorna with her issues.


NPCs: None.



Mood Music: [*\# None.]

Fade In…

The rec room, perhaps, wasn't the best place to track down Nate and ask for help.. but it was what was deserted at this time of night. It was late, and Lorna, once more couldn't sleep. Since the last time Nate had poked into her mind and unlocked the memories of what Malice had done, she hadn't been able to sleep without the assistance of medication. It was driving Marcos crazy with worry, and as a result, pushed the green haired mutant into action to make him stop.
So Lorna sat on the couch's edge, wearing a pair of Marcos' boxers and another oversized T-shirt that hung off her slim shoulders awkwardly. It was clear she'd given up on her appearance, on trying to appear put together and capable. Depression had sunk into her bones and held firmly. She was at a manic low, and it was showing in the shadows that ringed her eyes and curled her shoulders inwards.
It was a working theory at the moment, at least between Marcos and herself, that perhaps her body was thrown out of whack due to Aurora's sudden extraction. How perhaps she was being hit with some odd form of postpartum depression.. Add onto her already shaky mental state and trauma.. and it was a cocktail for mental instability.
The green haired magnokinetic was in no place to fight off another psonic attack if Malice came back looking for her body.
The Rec Room is a good place to hang out at night for the every insomniacs, like Nate. There are a few game consoles around, but Nate does not play games alone. He has enough conflict and action with his real life. Instead he is watching a late night documentary about Polynesian art or something unlikely, sprawled on the couch. Half of his mind is literally in another place, telepathically busy.
Enough of his attention is in the physical reality to sense an anguished/depressed Lorna approaching, so he straightens some when the green-haired girl steps in. "You okay?" He offers, giving her a quizzical look.
As usual he is wearing his outfit/armor. But down to a sleeveless shirt on his upper body, the black tribal tattoos on his right shoulder and upper arm plainly visible.
Lorna snorted as she settled beside Nate on the couch, and heaved a sigh. Green eyes rolled toward the ceiling briefly and she shook her head a slow negative. "I don't think I've been okay for a long while. Months now, I guess? Since.." Before the wedding. She was beating herself up over everything these days, and the sinking depression was worse than quick sand. Nothing helped.
And it grew more all consuming by the day. She didn't want to get up anymore. Didn't want to drag herself out of bed to face the world or leave the bedroom she and Marcos had taken over. Didn't want to leave Aurora alone for long. As if the second she was out of sight, someone might try to steal her out from under her. Lorna's fears were a twisting, gnawing, constant. And with her father's own tale of losing his first born fairly fresh in her mind.. Lorna was haunted.
More than just Malice's memories, it was an oppressive fear that dragged her back to the bedroom to curl around her still underdeveloped baby girl in hopes that she could offer some comfort some way, somehow.
It was lacking, despite everyone's best attempts.
"Can you help me, Nate? I don't.. I don't know what to do. I don't trust anyone.. least of all myself. I just.. everything feels pointless to me.." She whispered.
"Sure," replies Nate, trying not to roll his eyes. "Lorna, you have a guy that loves you, a baby daughter that is going to be fine soon and a college degree almost finished. You are twenty one, in good health and one of the most powerful women in America."
Beat, "I assure you that you are better off than 90% of the human population, and likely also the mutant population. You think you had a bad year, and maybe you did. But you are still alive, you are not suffering from permanent injuries, and you have not lost any loved one. You are fine. Compare yourself with the rest of the residents of this mansion and you will find out you are doing much better than most."
A snort and a roll of her eyes followed as Lorna shifted to pull her leg up (minus the casted one) and draw it close. She settled her chin against her knee, closing her eyes briefly. "No duh, logically I tell myself that Nate, but damned if that matters. It doesn't stop the nightmares. Or the thoughts that creep into my head when I try to sleep. I remember everything, what Malice thought about, the dreams.. that other.." That dream world, that she wished so desperately to return to.
She shook her head. "I don't even know what I'm doing here.. at least on Genosha I had a purpose.. here.. what's the point of doing anything. I'm too recognizable here in the states. Sinister obviously isn't going to just give up on Aurora.. people know who I am. I can't exactly just go out and try to start a new life." She sighed, letting her leg fall back to the ground to join the green plaster casted one.
"I don't know, you're a telepath. Can't you just.. just make that go away so I can sleep again?"
Nate fehs, leaning back on the couch. "I don't know. I guess you can go back to Genosha. Your father probably appreciates you, but he will also use you for his agenda. That is how he is, and that is not what makes him a monster, really. His cause comes first. The problem is he is a racist tyrant."
So no, don't go to Genosha.
"You can do a lot to help here," he waves around, meaning the school. "Teach the young mutants science. Protect them. Help the X-Men fight super-criminals and save lives. There is absolutely nothing wrong with following Xavier and Scott. It is a meaningful life. They will help protect Aurora, too. Although do not delude yourself she will ever be totally safe anywhere. That kind of life does not exist and all parents need to learn they can't protect their children from everything all the time."
A huff of a breath escaped the green haired woman as she leaned back against the couch. She crossed her arms, turning green eyes upwards to the ceiling above. "Pietro told me to avoid Genosha too, to not trust father. He even recommended that I keep a low profile.. too many eyes were on the wedding.. People don't know I'm here in the states yet and that's likely for the best." She muttered, and her lips twisted into a thin line.
"Genosha matters in so many ways that my work here doesn't feel like it does.. I just.. I can't take Aurora thereafter what happened." Her voice hitched and she blinked repeatedly as fear seized her so fully and wholly that her eyes welled with the sting of tears that she had to fight back.
After several long moment, she shook her head. "I don't believe in the Professor's dream. I've lost all trust in Scott's eyes. First with what I did before, and then with.. Malice. I can't be trusted here. Not for anything or with anyone." She whispered, "That's on me."
Her head listed forward as she sat up, as if she was unable to get comfortable.
"With Trask.. and the collars, the registration acts.. I can't see any point to trying to stop any of it! Don't you see Nate? They'll get what they want no matter what we do. Trask and his .. followers? They hate us. And with the Genoshans that escaped? Now they can do something about it. Instead of working together to stop them.. I can't even warn.." Her siblings. Wanda and Pietro, that there were false Brotherhood attacks.. That likely they'd see similar. It was a danger in her eyes that needed to be handled.. Only..
She no longer had the energy to care enough to do.
"Nonsense, I trust you," replies Nate.
He reaches over and pats the young woman on a shoulder, "lets see… Genosha matters. Yeah, people matter. But currently worry more for the millions of humans that are being driven off than for the few tens of thousands Magneto has under his 'protection'. You might think they deserve what is going on, but there are hundreds of thousands of children in Genosha that were not responsible of the mistakes of their parents and are going to pay for them anyway."
He sighs. "But I can't save everybody; neither can you, or Xavier or Superman or even Thor. So yeah… Xavier's dream. What part do you not believe? Because I think you would believe in equality, on teaching the children, on protecting the helpless and on trying to stop mutant terrorism and anti-mutant terrorism. Xavier does some thinks I don't think are good ideas, but in general he is a good guy and he helps far more than Magneto. That is why I am here half the time. If the X-Men fall things are going to be far, far worse than are now."
That said. Things he doesn't agree: not warning the Brotherhood about what Trask tried to do. That is an odd decision and Nate is still pondering what to do himself.
Lorna's lips twitched faintly as Nate tried to work through each issue without telepathy but rather with talking. A sigh pulled from her lips and she shrugged gently. "You'll call me heartless but I don't care about them. Humans have the whole world, Nate. Do those kids deserve to bear the weight of what their country did? Of course not.. but mutants deserve to have a place of their own." She muttered, and crossed her arms over her middle.
"I don't think that humans and mutants will ever get along without something to level the playing field to the point that they have to work together. To the point that mutants and humans have an equal enough population that one or the other won't try to kill the minority off. Because that's what people do. Mutant or human. I don't think either side will ever stop trying to actively oppress or destroy the other until that happens." She whispered, averting her gaze.
"In your world, when we visited.. they only got along when it became clear that everyone would die, regardless of genes, if they didn't work together." She bit her lower lip.
"And I think that mutants should fight back when people like Trask are actively working to torture and kill us off. You can't tolerate intolerance.. otherwise.. it's a paradox. Ultimately the intolerant will try to kill those that tolerated them.."
"Of course we are going to fight back," replies Nate with an unpleasant smirk. "Like every human minority in history. Nothing is free. We have to fight for our rights if we want them. Like every group had done in the history of Earth. Mutants are not that special - we got the same problems humans had in the past. Same issues. It took thousands of years for humans to learn the color of the skin is irrelevant. Hell, a lot of them do not really believe it yet. They will learn mutation does not matter either. But I don't think we will live to see it. But maybe your daughter will."
He looks at the woman again, giving her a once over. Yeah, she looks bad. "You want my help? I can give you a telepathic whammy and you will sleep eight, maybe ten hours. But it is just like a sleeping pill. It won't solve the problem, which is mostly your mind going around issues. But… a good night of sleep can help sometimes. So if you want it, I will do it."
Lorna's lips twitched faintly, but she didn't look particularly convinced. Not with all the bad futures and alternative universes that kept coming up short in terms of what the future was 'supposed' to be like. She found it hard to believe that anything was ever going to work out—of course, part of that was the low point of her emotions tormenting her with anxious thoughts. The same paranoia that stole over her father had its seedling elements in the green haired woman.
A few more hard nudges and it wasn't hard to imagine that she could easily become a different side of the same coin.
"I dunno, I just don't see people getting over their hatred for anyone in the future.." She breathed, and closed her eyes briefly.
Then of course, Nate continued onwards about the whammy and she nodded once. "Please. I think it will make Marcos worry less if I at least get one night's sleep without the meds. Been off 'em for about a week and it's been impossible to sleep a night through.." She breathed, she didn't care about getting sleep for herself. No, it was to make Marcos worry less, because that was a concern to her.. and less about taking care of her own health for the moment. A sleep deprived thought, and a depressive one, was that.
"You worry too much," adds Nate. "Collars and Sentinels are not going to happen because there are too many powerful beings that would step in to prevent it. Even if politicians are insane enough to attempt it, which I doubt they are. Things are nowhere as bad here as in my world."
He stands up, offering Lorna his hand. When she takes it, he reaches for her mind. "Meds should be working. You got to talk with Annie about it. Just don't use them every day. You will build resistance and get addicted. Same goes for telepathy," which is what Nate is using on Lorna. Pushing her to relax and filling her brain with drowsiness.

"Go to bed, and sleep," he adds, putting some psychic coercion in his words. "Think happy thoughts," that is always the useless advice that people give to the depressed ones. He has heard it a few times. Maybe with a telepathic push it will work.

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