To Be or Not to Be

December 16, 2017:

After the influence of the Rage and now hearing she may lose yet another friend, Kori and J'onn share a moment of… Calm?

//Recreation Deck - Watchtower:JLA - The Final Frontier //

The walls inside this level are soundproofed so that noise from one
room to the next cannot interfere with one another. There are vapor screens
on all entrances that allow privacy until one passes through them.
Individually there is a swimming pool, sauna, gym, library, dining hall,
lounge and even a shooting range.


NPCs: None.


Mood Music: [*\# None.]

Fade In…

Starfire has tested the Gym (Having launched Max 'Reps' through a "wall"), the shooting range (Until a hole is melted through a "wall", stared at food in a manner of challenge (It is not Eeee-ggaahhh-drrooolll) - As Kyle has called it since that day…

Kyle's words, his absence, and then his actions… There is a rage in the feeling of near defeat, but he is her courtier - by her 'Alien' standards, and she adores him, even in their long absence and current unspoken silence.

It is like the slow motion of shattered glass in her world, the shards waiting, hovering, lingering, mid-air before impact. Will there be a shield or will it rip her world to pieces?

Her mind worries, then seeks to rage, and then remembers what J'onn has repeated to her as if a child and a warrior on how to keep control of her(self) despite an urge foreign to her unless necessary…

… and it has been years since…

Seated before the massive bowing window of the Watchtower library, Starfire is staring out into the cosmos, books beside the curve of her hip, feet drawn up onto the lounged seating to tuck before her. Beside her, a book is open, the writing one of old painted depictions, more images than writing to those who do not know Japanese. «So, YUU. Bravery. J'onn's…?» A mental prod, calm, but simmering beneath a glass lid. «I still feel apology is in order..»

For what I am about to do.

As is normal for the Martian, it isn't hard to find him up here among the stars, and his form visibly seen floating outside of the confines of the Watchtower. The peace… quiet… the vastness that is space surrounding him plays to some of his feelings of being truly alone in this Universe.

Curious, then, that should those thoughts be shattered by recent events, and perhaps a crack in a shield he has spent decades putting in place. Unlike Kal, J'onn has not grown amongst the Humans, and while he appreciates them he knows that he will never be /one/ of them. Still, his friend has tried to show him that he need not bear his burden alone… still, there is now another…

Now, of all times, such a burden to accept in this request of his friends, the Planet he has called Home, and for the People that live on it. Given his time spent studying philosophy it would be an interesting debate of Irony or Karma that he now must cut away that which he has found… another example of his self removal for the betterment of others… perhaps he is Destined to be Present but never Bound to those he cares for?

Then there is a call, familiar and welcomes, and it brings another crack to that internal shield he has built. One last look out at that Red Planet, his eyes easily seeing what even Earth's telescopes can struggle to find, «Hello Koriand'r…» his greeting comes with his feelings of Happiness and Excitement, a mental pause, «…is something upsetting you?» now tinged with Concern, because he will not delve but it is difficult for him to miss when the mental connection is created.

<Watch> Lunair has connected.

Koriand'r, keeps the tablet face-down upon thighs, propped upward in her repose on the lounged seating while her shoulder balances her in the prop upright, her eyes out over the cosmos beyond, pupiles emerald gaze piercing galaxies with an ease unknown…

But apparently, after the Terrigenesis Shift… What does she know? Not even herself..

A million points of light, and the darkness of a veil is questioned, but that of her own Home Planet of Tamaran and its existence is questioned.
Everything is brought to a Big. ? Mark.

Without those lights, they are no more…

The Lanterns lack a purpose, fallen peoples on razed planets have no meaning save documents on the planets so many called home, then and now. Old and New. «Why, J'onn? You have seen, you should not be risked because you can … Unchain that Red.»

Fingers trace and clasp around her wrists, circling a sensation of old as if it had been refreshed. Yes, she sees J'onn out there, even as her temple presses to the Spacial Plexi allowing her to see out into space beyond and his place within.

«Nothing at all..» But even mentally, that voice is clipped, almost… sarcastic??

«.. Aside from the fact that this is a sacrifice even this Earth would not grant their 'Tigers'…» A lift and flip of tablet and sweeping scroll of images of 'Endangered'.

«Seals, Wolves of Red, Sea… Cows…» Truly alien, but when she hits a tabbed trigger the security mainframe scans her, blinks and then Projects Against the glass.

«Humans are many. Kal has others here… I have..» Brows furrow and she hits the power button to flicker it off.

«This world calls you Endangered, you cannot go, by it's laws.» Well, Jori has been doing her research, even if feeble in the Courts, it makes sense… And she stooped to it…

Her feigned Ignorance and Innocence used for… Weight. Blame the baby seals?

«If I am to help set this in motion… How do I stop it and save my friend, J'onn J'ohnns The Martian?» A close of eyes and the tablet is tossed across the padded span of benched seat. «Because I am done saying goodbye, or forgetting.»

Slowly J'onn spins in place by his own power, looking towards the sense of Kori, and slowly floating through space until he faces her through the glass. The beginnings of a smile, sad though it may be seen in his eyes and felt in the shared link, «I believe everything I told you on the Moon.» he states simply at first…

«It is not my ability to find the Rage within, but the ability to find /more/ than the Rage when the time is needed.» His hand he places on the outside of the glass, as if he is gently placing it against her cheek, but that invisible shield might as well be a thousand mile gap.

«Koriand'r…» J'onn begins as he sees the tracing of her wrists, senses old memories that are better left buried, «…you are far stronger than anyone, including yourself, realizes. Your strength is in the Heart. The weight you still bear would crush some of the strongest I know. You are unbowed…»

He pauses, considering his next words, and she can sense that there is an internal struggle with how Open to be, something that is difficult in Words when the Society you have grown up shares with the intimacy of emotion, «There is truth to your words…» He finally decides, «…the bonds you all have developed with others are not simple. Bonds of the Heart are both incredibly strong and fragile at the same time.»

There is a pause again, and she can feel that he controls that mental connection more strongly now as the small slips of emotions are abruptly cut off, «Given what you have been through, I would not put any strain on what you are building, on what you have found.» his hand slipping from that Plexi-Steel barrier, floating back just a little, and his eyes show a bit of that sadness that was felt just a moment ago.

«You have helped in many ways already, Koriand'r. Your kindness, sharing of yourself, and allowing me to realize that in many ways I am /not/ alone in this Universe…» he bows his head, closing his eyes, memories of conversations with friends and family where his ambiguity would be seen through given the Great Voice. Eyes still closed, chin resting on his chest, «I will hold in my Mind, the most protected pieces of my Memories, the most wondeful of dinners I have had since Mars. I will use it as my Anchor to all that is Happy in this current World.» There is a small smile, just the barest tilt of the corner of his mouth, «I would never put you in a position that you would need say goodbye again, Koriand'r.» His gaze raises, his red orbs locking onto her green ones, «I would not be so selfish or cruel to add to what you already carry. Such is another promise I need live up to now. I would never put that burden upon you, even if I must defy Death itself.»

Starfire knows he /believes/ everything he has said, as everything he has put forth has not been fallacy, but an unbridled truth that holds no barriers. Something "Alien" to those they have vowed to protect and the Planet they call home. One sixteenth of the planet razed in grave-plots that should not be.

The instincts in our race…

«It is not in your ability to find…» In a single pulse, constriction and release of heartbeat his 'motion, his voice, the turmoil within has a fast-paced reel of reaction, even though it happens in the matter of second(s).

Thumb and index lock around a wrist, the drop of limbs and their hold falls into her lap while she watches his approach, the reflection mirrored in periphery while her cheek presses into the glass like a feline seeking to 'make its mark' upon the touch, even if the reality of it is that it has already been made.

«Bonds we all have formed with /others/?» The flux in vocals shows an emotion Kori has yet to show. His hand had withdrawn and now her legs unfurl to place bare feet to the floor aside the seat and twist her body aside, casting her features in a shadow of flame huen hair. «You speak as if you are not a part of those bonds…» A light bow of her head and he can feel sadness, and then a justicar within that feeling of residual defeat and loss.

«I forgive you for your belief and faith based on who you are…» Kori states as she rises, gathering her hair into hooked fingers, knotted fists, parting it to cast over her shoulders.

«I cannot forgive you for…» A bow of head and she is gone from the library and his sight, her words a white noise of 1AM on ABC decades ago.

"Not changing the tense, to include yourself." A beacon of light, a tail of fire in a lash behind the tall figure of Tamaranean Princess, strapped in Violet armor and hovering behind J'onn, now.

"You just promised. This better work." Kori's gaze is narrowly set upon him.

"We are a family now, a People, and you're going to remember that." Kori may be speaking, but she is not /mincing/ words with him, at least in -meaning-. "No matter what we say or do. I. Am. Sorry. But you're not going to carry it alone in the end." Starfire blurs in and embraces J'onn in a hug, shared or not it is a crushing blow not meant for a fight. «We're a League for a reason, and I do not make promises to be broken.» She promised something??

Yeah, in her own broken language/way, she did.

As always seems to be the case when J'onn is talking with Kori there is a loss in his ability to sidestep or wordsmith his way through the conversation. That smallest smile turns into something more genuine, and a rueful shake of his head as she catches him in his own trap.

«Bonds we all have formed…» J'onn admits, letting his shields slip a bit, he is hapapy she has caught him in his own half-truth, «Some bonds are stronger than even we realize.» his eyes following her graceful movements, «Perhaps some even /I/ was not aware, or even afraid to admit, are in their fragile infancy that should be tended to more carefully.»

When she arrives outside, somewhat unexpected, but she can feel from him that her presence is very welcomed. "I sincerely apologize for the blindness that even a Martian can have in regards to the finer points of Social interactions." He says to her, before slowly turning to face Kori, "It has been many years since I have truly opened myself to any. For those I would come to truly care about…" he shakes his head "…I do not think I could survive another loss…" Admitting to her, even to himself, that he still suffers the scars of what he alone has lived through.

When she moves he realizes he could avoid if he wanted, keep the figurative shield around him, or perhaps even keep a distance within the embrace itself. Instead, against what he may consider his better judgment, his enfolds Kori in an embrace that is physical and mental. His own embrace is not hesitant, holding her close to him, and relishing for the first time in untold years the closeness of another…

Mentally she can feel him wrap her in an ocean of emotion that is the smallest shadow of the Great Voice. Happiness, Companionship, Trepidation, and perhaps something else less easily identified swirl around her like a kaleidescope of feelings, memories, and promises that transcend vocalization.

"I feel your Sorrow, Koriand'r, and I will help you carry it. Just as I will not carry this burden alone." One of his large hands brushes through her hair, his head tilting down to rest his cheek against the top of her head, «I will never make a promise to you that I cannot fulfill. You are my Family, my People…» perhaps there was more to say, but he leaves it unsaid for now.

In the void of space, floating in that embrace, J'onn does not feel the isolation for once. Instead, he feels the light of a new beginning, and the burden of fulfilling the promise he has given.

Fridge magnets mispronouncing foreign words,

When Starfire impacts J'onn in embrace and feels the /shuddering/waver/ of resistance fall away with his words she keeops that embrace, lowering her forehead along the collarbone slope, her fingers curling into the grip in a formation of a cling that could be almost child-like….
…Or reminiscent.

Maybe it is the /wash of resistance to emotional resilience/, but his emptiness in feeling is shared, and has that desire to wreak a World of scorn upon him ceasing. Memories that -hurt-..

"You feel the sorrow for a loss We are going to suffer," Kori slowly pulls back and looks at J'onn, those eyes reflecting the Galaxy behind them, but still shadowing his profile and that red gaze, muted to translucency in contrary hue. White, to her. "But not for long."

The look that meets his is determined, and where his emotions have been trained to shut down and not exist he can see her own fade into a backdrop and a darker green form iris in her eyes.

Hellfire never-ever felt so sweet… "J'onn…" Kori states as she slowly leans back, those eyes searching his for a moment, the placidity interrupted by the dart in a search.

Play with fire we get burned for sure.. "The weight of this world is not /J/ust on your shoulders now, and if you accept me," His cheek to her forehead draws her eyes to close as fingers curl in a reach for his jawline, a feel of fingers traipsing over his facade like braille and upward. "You accept A Legion."

A redirect and his forehead presses to hers in that clutch, her eyes opening in a truce, a duality. Even if no words are spoken between them.

«I will hold you to your promise, J'onn J'on-zz~.» The accent, the language perhaps… Correcting itself in Koriand'r due to the contact.

Eye contact is attempted to be made, a silent vow with the words and she slowly releases him, floating back enough to allow space…

The heated path is an eruption of rings unseen in the spatial gap between to carry her away in a blur of fire into the passing meteor shower above.

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