Kids or No Kids?

November 21, 2017:

Marcos and Lorna talk about a number of important things. From what she saw in the shadows to whether or not she meant it when she said no babies.

Polaris and Eclipse's apartment

Characters

NPCs: None.

Mentions: Dani Moonstar, Jean Grey

Plot:

Mood Music: [*\# None.]


Fade In…

*

It was just your average day in New York…thoug hextended to Mutant Town, it was a little…perhaps slightly active. Marcos had just returned home after all after getting some food with a friend. He sets his bag next to the couch and he just flops down. "Why can't I ever get the fun job….." he sighs, though by fun he usually means outing an unfaithful husband to his wife. or vice versa.

Marcos seems to be lounging now, before he eventually just gets up, looking around for Lorna unless she took off while he was away. "Lorna? you home?" he calls out, taking off his jacket and setting it aside, rolling his left shoulder lightly.

He was just wearing jeans and a dark red T-shirt. No flannel today? that's almost a crime for Marcos.

*

Lorna was in the bedroom. It would seem, that while Marcos was out and doing his job.. Lorna hadn't left all day. She lay there in bed, watching some news casters argue back and forth the Mutant Registration Act. Listening to a mother going on and on about how her children were in danger because of 'those mutants'. While a blonde news anchor made sympathetic noises and another caster made several slurs about Mutant on Mutant crime.

She held the remote in one hand, staring at the screen in a morose fashion. She hadn't even changed from her PJs…

It was going to be one of those days. The low days. It would seem.

Still, when Marcos called, Lorna was slow to respond, and it was only as he peered into the bedroom that she lifted her head from the mountain of pillows she'd made and cocoon of blankets she'd burrowed under. Her hair a green tangle, that matched the dark shadows her smeared make up made around her eyes.

"Hey."

*

When Marcos entered the bedroom…he was certainly treated to one of those sights. The beauty that was Lorna…..though something was ver ywrong, and he knew it. "Hey…hey hey." He moves over to the side of the bed, sitting next to her and a hand moving to take a knot out of her hair…surprisingly harmlessly.

"What's wrong?" he asks her, his eyes looking longingly into hers.

*

Lorna shifted away, her eyes remaining on the news station as the casters on screen continued their heated debate? Argument? Rant against mutants. She only glanced back to Marcos as he began untangling her hair.

"Nothing." Her shoulders rose and feel and beneath the cover of blankets, her legs shifted away from him. Toward the cold edges of the bedding and she shivered. "I'm fine." She continued, her voice low and laced with apathy.

"I'm just watching this shit-show. How was the job?" She barely looked at him as she spoke.

*

Marcos didn't seem convinced by Lorna brushing him off….so he nods a few times "The job was fine. Boring as hell….but it was alright." he now sits on the bed next to her, despite that she was inching away. He had his own things he wanted to discuss, but she was more important.

"So…what happened?" he asks, knowing full well that somethings wrong…especially when she acts cold. He knows that isn't who she is. Though eventually, as more mutant slurs and pity shows that build mutant hatred continue to beyond ridiculous levels, Marcos grabs a remote and changing the channel. "Bullshit." The channel he turned it to? Nascar racing. Because nothing's more boring and calming than Nascar. except golf. but golf sucks, in Marcos's opinon.

He puts a hand on her shoulder comfortingly.

*

Lorna exhaled a breath, pushing green hair from her features as she ripped her gaze away from the TV. "What else happened, you mean? Besides being a crazy, emotional wreck? You can see for yourself. The news is right at it, hating us. Ready to throw us under the bus. Another march happened today, some where down south. I dunno what happened, but people sure liked to bitch about it." She scowled, and shifted to look away from him.

"You should go train with the X-men. I don't think we'll get to Genosha anytime soon. I don't feel like going anymore."

*

Marcos takes a small breath as she rips her eyes away from him and the television, utterly dismissing him in the process, thus does he simply reach over to her to hold her hand. He doesn't speak for a moment, clearly in a deep thought. "Yeah….the worlds a shitty place rightn ow." he doesn't mince words at all, though if Lorna looked at him, concern was plastered on his face.

*

Lorna pursed her lips together, and as Marcos took her hand in his, he'd find it chilled. Her fingers twitched beneath the warmth of his hand, like a spasm that she couldn't control. Her frame trembled once, twice and she stubbornly kept her gaze away from him. Unable to meet his eyes, unable to look at him, or perhaps just unwilling.

"And I'm holding you back from what you should be, Marcos. You want to be an X-man. You deserve to be one. And I'm keeping you from that… and the world needs more X-men. Needs mutants to be well trained and to work together.."

*

Marcos looks at Lorna when she truly starts to shed what she's been feeling, though his hand gives hers an affectionate squeeze, before he lies down with her and pulls her into his embrace. "Now why would you say that? hm?" he smiles then just faintly, but it's warm and luring as it had always been.

*

Marcos' embrace brought tears to her eyes and she struggled against them, against the desire to hold onto him and to wallow in her misery and self loathing. It was hard. So hard. And a choked sound ripped from the back of her throat and she shivered convulsively in his arms.

"You should stay away from me Marcos. Far. Far away." She breathed, her chest constricting as she trembled in his arms, like a live wire cut loose.

"It's better that way.." She mumbled against his shoulder, while at the same time she latched her arms around his waist and buried her features against his shirt. Conflicting messages? Decidedly so.

*

Marcos listened to her words completely and entirely..wondering what the hell brought this on…but he wasn't going to lose Lorna, not after all they've been through. He loves her too much. "Don't ever say that. I would never want to stay away from you. What brought this on?"

he asks her, and when she buries her head in his shirt, one of his hands massages her scalp, something he always did when she was distressed. "What -really- happened Lorna? I..haven't seen you this shaken in a long time." he caresses her cheek, choosing to comfort her.

then again, he wasn't one to run away because someone told him to.

*

A sniffle, and another shuddering breath followed as she clutched at him. She hated being weak. And to her, at that moment, crying felt like a weakness. Marcos didn't need the burdens she constantly threw his way. Her anxieties, her depressive haze since she'd returned from the shadows only deepened as she struggled mentally with two extremes.

Of course, then his hands were in her hair and she was breathing hard, and the tears? The tears wouldn't stop.

"I killed you.. I killed you and everyone else. They were all dead. And it was my fault. It was my fault.." She sobbed into his shoulder.

*

Marcos looked confused, but he realizes she may have had a nightmare….or something happened when she was dragged into the shadows. No one comes out of the dark unscathed, he should know. He holds her tight when she begins to weep, and he didn't care about his shirt being stained with her tears. "Hey…hey…I'm here Lorna."

"…and I don't want to be anywhere else. Hey…we're here for each other right? What do you mean you killed me? I'm still here and so is everyone else. Whatever you experienced was trying to scare you alright?"

he leans to kiss her forehead just lightly, being the tough, sturdy person he tended to be when Lorna was down in the dumps.

*

Lorna cried, and cried hard. It was a rare enough event that it tended to come out in violent bursts, when she could no longer ignore the seeping emotions that bogged her down. She clutched at his frame, and it wasn't for several long moments before she could speak again. And when she pulled her head back enough, her already smudged make up had run down her cheeks. Making an odd constrast to her red rimmed eyes and splotchy skin.

She rubbed at her eyes and shook her head. "It's my future. Dani… showed me a future. In the shadows. And I killed you. I killed everyone. I saw you die. Saw you get caught in metal and … and I stabbed you through the heart.." She hiccupped, unable to breath or continue to speak as her throat closed up and she trembled.

*

Marcos held her tight…those were rare moments indeed where Lorna just let loose her emotions. some metal probably moved somewhere in the apartment, but Marcos didn't move away from her side, resting his head on hers until she pulled away just barely enough that he could see her face and hear what happened.

"Dani? Moonstar? She was there at the bear attack. she showed your future? That can't be possivle…no future is set. that's why it's called the present and the future. Maybe she was just trying to hurt you. Isn't her entire schtick illusions and showing people what they fear most?" yes, he's been talking to the X-men.

*

Lorna had used that same argument against Dani in the shadows. She'd been devastated, but she had been logically detached, on edge enough to refute it and keep herself together.. at least until the shadows took her and left her in darkness and cold for what felt like hours. Then a bad night's sleep, nightmares… well, it was a small wonder that it came back to bite Lorna days later.

She rubbed at her face with her heel of her palm, trembling as she tried to keep her powers to herself. She was scared, honestly and truly frightened at the thought of using her powers in that exact moment.

"…But it's possible Marcos. It's possible.." She exhaled with a shaky breath.

*

Marcos's hands rise up to Lorna's cheeks. "Hey….hey.." he says soothingly, cupping her face with his warm hands in a comforting manner. "Look at me. You arn't going to hurt me. I'm not going to hurt you. I love you Lorna. If it's a possible future, then let's destory that future, and make our own." he smiles to her warmly, not shying away from her. Though she had more ability to kill him than the other way around, Marcos didn't care.

"us against the world."

*

Her jaw squared as she buried her features in her hands until Marcos smoothed them away to run his own warm fingers over her tear stained cheeks. She whimpered, looking up at him with an utter dread and fear, she was scared. Dani Moonstar had succeeded in making Lorna Dane afraid. It had just taken a while for it to hit the green haired Magnokinetic. Call it a stubborn streak that ran in her family.

"I don't ever want to hur you Marcos, ever. I swear. I don't. I don't want to become that woman.. She killed the city. Everyone in it. There.. there wasn't any metal anywhere. Not an inch of it. Not in the wires, pipes.. the city was ruined…" She exhaled a trembling breath, her hands curling into the fabric of his… oddly not flannel shirt?

That thought alone seemed to shake her briefly from her spiral of self loathing and fear.. enough that she paused with a furrowed brow to rub the material between her fingers.

*

Marcos wipes any tears from her eyes with his thumb, looking her right into those green irises of hers, a deep love in his eyes. "Hey…you arnt going to hurt me. Okay? That Lorna isn't -you-. I intent to fully keep my promise. I won't ever let you fall that far. Instead, I'll lift you up. I don't know why, but I know you're meant for great things." he smiles, it may have been a cheesy thing to say, but he was honest.

"Hey…you're alright. Do I need to have words with Dani?" he grins a moment, joking that he was going to fight this apparent new enemy. "Can't scare me off that easy." he smiles warmly to her, leaning to kiss her lips gently.

*

Lorna blinked back against a fresh welling of tears that he wiped away. She exhaled a short breath, her lower lip trembling faintly as he reassured her again that the future Dani had shown her was not infact what was going to happen. As he tried to soothe her fears away. His smile as brilliant to her as staring into the sun directly, and she averted her gaze for a beat.

Of course, then his comment about having 'words' with Dani had her lips twitching while her chest tightened in an aching way.

His lips met her's with that gentle heat that was so uniquely his, and the tension leaked away from her. If he tried to pull back, of course, he'd be met with arms clutched tight around his waist. Her hands rising up his back to glue herself against him more firmly. As if he was her sole source of air, or breath.

Though he wasn't so eventually, she let him go, having so aggressively twisted the sweet and gentle kiss with her fears, tears and other heated emotions all poured into her return affection. She was left breathing hard, leaning her head back against the pillows once more. Her hands, and figure, now more or less wrapped around him—plus blankets.

Her hand loosened and slid over his jawline. "You're my family.. I love you, Marcos Diaz."

*

Marcos would smile warmly against Lorna's lips, and the only time he took to pull away was the breath between the intense kisses, his arms wrapping completely around Lorna and not falling away until she officially pulled away from him.

"and you are mine. I love you too, Lorna Dane." a warmness there in his tone, lying down next to her on the sheets as his hand traversed her side comfortingly, but his eyes never left her own. "You're my world."

*

Lorna exhaled a breath, seeming to reclaim some of her composure as he laid down beside her and simply took the opportunity to run his hands over her side. Her eyes drifted shut for a brief span of time, a hand snaking out to capture his own and squeeze it gently.

"I'm sorry for freaking out." She whispered, green eyes flickering back toward him and turning her gaze away from the ceiling.

"I didn't think it would hit me quite so hard.. not like that." She swallowed a lump at the back of her throat and rolled onto her side to better face him. Her hair was a tangled mess as always, in a green halo against the white pillow case around her features as she watched the lights flicker and come to life at their conjoined hands.

*

Marcos smiles to Lorna as she lets him rub her side lightly, it only grows wider when she actually captures his hand. He gives hers an affectionate squeeze, then sees that light show around their hands that he loved so much.

"Hey…it's alright. We're here for each other. Always here for you, whenever you need it. you know that…" he smiles to her warmly, leaning down to kiss her once more, this time it's a bit more passionate. "You never need to apologize for that. Ever." he smiles then, laughing.

"Though you do look really comfortable. Did we get new blankets when I wasn't looking?" he says to break the ice.

*

A small sound that might have been a dry laugh followed Marcos' words and Lorna's lips twitched as she reached up with her other hand to rub at her face. Damn she felt gross. Of course, then there was Marcos and his too damn cuteness—and his lips were on her own and she found herself tangling her arms and legs up with him again. The heat a faint edge that prickled at her lips after he pulled away to comment on the blankets.

"I just stole them from the closet—They're clean. So I didn't really care all that much. Think they might be Jamie's technically." She coughed lightly, and gave his hand another squeeze.

"I'm sorry I was.. I was so distant the other day. When we were out with Scott and Betsy…" She murmured, her thumb running over his hand in her grasp.

*

Marcos hums against the kiss that they enjoy, and when her legs wrap around him he shivers a bit because as usual, they are quite cold, but he soon settles in easily enough. and when they pull away, he gives her bottom lip a little tug playfully.

"ah….that makes sense. I hear that guys been a little of everywhere. No wonder these blankets are so comfortable. I dig." he chuckles faintly. Though when she apologizes for the other day with Betsy and SCott, he goes silent for a moment, though he does nod a few times. "It's alright…..though, can I ask you something?" he asks curiously.

"Uhm….It's hard to ask at all….but…a family, would you ever…I dunno…like to have one?" and he meant that in the procreational sense. yep. Babies.

*

Lorna made a soft sound as Marcos nipped at her lower lip and she dragged her fingers over his shoulders, nails scraping gently against the flesh of his neck as she curled into his embrace all the more soundly. Of course, at the mention of Jamie being everywhere sne snorted, and rolled her eyes.

"I made sure they were clean. I don't want to catch something…" She muttered.

Then her humor faded as Marcos asked his question cautiously. She froze, green eyes going wide as she considered him, like a deer caught in the head lights of an oncoming car. Oh. Shit.

She shifted against him, a blush crossing over her cheeks for the first time in a long, long time. "Marcos.." She hesitated, her hands going flat against his shoulders in thought. "…I don't … I don't know." She whispered. She exhaled a heavy sigh and closed her eyes briefly before she looked back to him.

"With .. everything.. The anti-mutant riots, protests.. the crime. Mutant Town.. The Brotherhood.. The Mutant Registration Act.. I don't know if I could .. If I'd want to bring a child into this world. To be our child. Is it fair? To them? To bring a baby into the world that hates them. That actively wants to see them, and us dead… I don't know."

*

Marcos chuckles when Jamie is brought back up, and he's more than happy to snug closer to Lorna, taking off his shirt in the process and tossing it aside. Though he does give her hand a faint squeeze when he realizes his question just sunk in. "Yeah…it's…uh.." he was clearly nervous about it.

But he did want it. She could see it in his eyes how badly he wanted to start a family with her…hell, he was possibly a few days from just popping the question. but he wanted to ask her about that specific detail first. Because what he wants most is what he's never had in his life.

Family.

But when Lorna gives her case on why they shouldn't have a kid, Marcos looks a little downtrodden, but not whining or disappointed. "I know…the world is a dark place…and…with everything going on, I don't know either…but…" he looks at Lorna, right in the eyes. "I want to…you know…have that." he admits "Give them a chance in the world. I'm sorry…I..I uh, shouldn't have asked." he clearly looks to be in a more critical thought, though his tone or demeanor didn't sound disappointed with or upset with Lorna.

*

Lorna sat up as he spoke, as he met her eyes and then quickly backpedaled, trying to not make her uncomfortable, trying not to pressure her. But she could see how much it meant to him. Knew that when he had spoken about wanting a family in the past that it had mattered to him. She'd seen his eyes light up when he spoke about his hopes for some far flung future in the past… Now though. Now that future was a very real and present consideration. Marcos wanted to have a family, with her of all people.

She reached up with both hands to smooth against his cheeks and down his neck. "Hey, no.. no. You can … you can always ask me anything." She murmured, looking vaguely uncomfortable. After all, she had just written off wanting to have a kid the other day. And had spent the better part of her day being trapped in her own head of fears. How anyone could want to have a kid with her of all people was bizzare. She never thought that it would ever be a possibility. It was like saying some day she'd win the lottery..

It was a far flung dream always said without any real thought given to it. Her problems had always been too close to home, too immediate.

"Marcos… If I had … if we had someplace safe. A home. That I knew for certain, would always be safe. And that our child would be safe growing up. That .. they'd have their best chance.. I would love nothing more than to have a family with you." She swallowed a thick lump at the back of her throat as she spoke.

"But I can't know any of that. And my family.. My father.. I don't know what the world would do if they knew about me. Much less any children I might have.. I'd be painting a target on the back of my own kid's head just because of who my blood relations are, Marcos."

*

Marcos rests his head in her hands, putty in her palms. Though his eyes remain on her as he touches his forehead to hers. He never pressured her with anything…unless their lives were on the line and she was their way out. But he did seem somewhat saddened. "I know I can ask you anything but….the other day…when you said you didn't want to ever have children…I was scared then…that.." he sighs a moment, going quiet again.

It's alright…I know what kind of danger they would be in.." he says somewhat defeatedly..the dream will have to wait, it would seem. and he brings his own hand to squeeze her own on his cheek. "None of us can know that….if we have a child, then we protect it."

*

Lorna squeezed her eyes shut against the saddened look in his eyes. That look alone could undo her. Could make her regret having done the slightest thing to upset him. Even if it was as simple as taking the last jelly bean in the box.

How much she wished it was just over the candy so she could make it go away and make him happy again.

Damnit.

She felt her throat tighten and she leaned in to press a gentle, sweet, kiss against first his forehead, then his cheek, and then finally his lips. She moved slowly, carefully.

"I'm sorry Marcos. I know what it means to you, to have a family." She reached for his hands again, giving them a careful squeeze.

She bit her lower lip, watching him, "Not as we are now.. we can barely protect each other. You thought you had lost me the other day. The mansion suffered a horrible attack.. and now the Brotherhood is active.. my siblings, may I remind you. Do you think that they're gonna stop? That the hatred they're stirring up is going to get better? Marcos," She exhaled a breath.

"I left the Xavier Institute and refused to stay as part of the X-men for so many reasons. One of them was that I wanted to live a normal life. To not have to be constantly scared someone was going to blow up the house. What you've seen in the last few months since we got here? That was my life in high school." She closed her eyes briefly, before looking to him.

"..If there comes a time when there's less… less threats. Less hatred.. and we have a home. Jobs.. A life.. Then.. yes.. I'd want to have a child.. My misgivings aside about my bloodline or powers or anything.."

*

Marcos holds her hand and accepts her kisses of affection, leaning and basking in the warmth of each and every one, especially when she kisses his lips. He kissed her passionately until she pulled away.

"I don't know Lorna….I don't know if the world will ever get better. People hold grudges for years. Racism still exists because some people can't get over that theres more than just one color." he sighs a moment, his head resting on the pillows. "I understand why you would leave the X-Men…under those circumstances..I would leave too."

Though when she agrees that when, or if, there's a time where things all settle down, she would want to have children…Eclipse smiles to her then. "Okay." he smiles warmly to her, even if a hint of sadness still remains. It's a light of hope…and that's all Marcos needs to keep going. "I love you."

*

Lorna watched him critcally after he pulled back from another heated kiss and rested his head back on the pillows. She stayed seat, upright, watching him even as he smiled up at her and some of that sadness remained. She felt her gut twist, knowing that everything Marcos said about racists.. about grudges.. She knew it too well. After all, she'd spent several weeks and took a college class researching the Holocaust after her father told her what happened to him growing up.

All from a short conversation he had had with her right after he'd told her that he was her father. Of course, then he'd left… Perhaps that was one root of all her fears and worries. That she'd be a horrible mother. That she would never be the nuturing type. Never be able to stay in her kid's life either. That.. once again, in as many ways.. she'd be just like her father.

The thought ached like a physical pang in her head and she shiftedm moving to curl up in Marcos' arms.

"I love you too." She murmured, reaching out to smooth her fingers through his hair. "Besides.. it's not like we could have a kid here on our paychecks.." She muttered, "Or at the mansion. Can you imagine that? Jean and Scott got so lucky. All of their kids are from other dimensions and are fully grown."

*

Marcos happily welcomed her into his loving arms, cuddling with her as they seemed to be settling in for sleep. He didn't want her to feel guilty over him, so when she was real close, he reached down her back to give her lower back a little playful pinch. Something he normally did to try to get her to smile and/or laugh.

He looked longingly into her eyes. "My world." he describes her a moment, caressing her cheek with a finger. "True…but one day…that one day where we can just…settle down. Peace." he smiles warmly to her. "I don't know if Lucky is the word we're looking for." he laughs a bit.

"Most if not all of them are from dimensions or parrellel worlds where everything went to shit." he laughs.

*

Lorna squirmed as he pinched her and she lurched against him. Her eyebrows shot upwards and she playfully smacked at his hand. Though there was a faint twitch of her lips in amusement. She shifted, settling more or less on top of him with her legs tangled in his, her hands pillowing her chin up to look him in the eyes as he smiled at her.

Stretched out as she was against him, lights bloomed all around them, and of course, was that fantastic heat he emitted naturally. She did adore that. Tank-tops and shorts in the winter were a go. Screw you New England weather.

"Hey, sure their world's were shit. But… But Jean didn't have to give birth. So that's a win in my book. Nor did she have to deal with messy diapers. Or screaming babies keeping her and Scott up all night.." She arched a green eyebrow upwards.

"We could just outsource to another dimension." She teased lightly.

*

Marcos laughs a bit when Lorna squirms on top of him, though he does smile when she spiders herself around him more, his arms wrapping around her waist and just a little bit under her shirt to feel her smooth skin. Those lights of the aurora borealis -almost- as beautiful as she was, in Marcos's biased opinion.

Though when they speak of Jean not having to actually give birth yet, Marcos sighs a moment. "Maybe…but…okay, I don't actually have a good retort for that." he laughs.

"We are not stealing a possible future spawn of ours from anotehr dimension." he laughs.

*

Lorna grinned at him, happy that her lighter jokes seemed to have improved his mood again. "Hey, I didn't say steal.. I mean, Nate and Rachel kinda just showed up randomly. Maybe we'll get one too come Christmas, hmm?" She arched a green eyebrow up, nudging his leg with her foot.

"I mean.. I know it takes some of the fun out of that whole process.. but I think, it definitely saves time." She wiggled slightly against him in a suggestively wicked way, teasing him lightly as she pecked his jaw.

*

Marcos just chuckles to her, entangling his foot with hers affectionately. "I mean….while Crhistmas and all that getting a kid would be pretty great, I think it'd be better if we went the long route. you know, parental bragging rights?" he laughs lightly.

Though when she wiggled against him suggestively at the thought of the 'fun' part in making kids, he laughs a bit, kissing her deeply, his hands tugging her shirt suggestively.

*

His laughter was infectious and Lorna found herself chuckling softly in response. She grinned down at him as she sat up, only to have further response cut off as he tugged her down for another kiss. She didn't find much to argue with there. Much less a desire to carry on a conversation when his hands started to snake up at her shirt's hem.

Rather she determinedly set her mind to much more enjoyable activities and pushed off the darkness that had dogged at her all day.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 License