November 18, 2017:
Someone has opened a portal to Muspelheim in the middle of Manhattan. Avengers Captain America and Iron Guard go investigate, and find Atli, Goddess of Thunder, is already fighting demons. The battle that follows is both amusing and bemusing.
Streets of Manhattan
Characters
NPCs: Toothbender the space goat
Mentions: Thor
Plot:
Mood Music: None.
Fade In…
There are complex mysteries in this universe. Unfathomable wonders. Beings that escape quantification or definition, who work in dimensions far past the three or four most people on the planet Earth would ever, /ever/ encounter.
Then, there are the fire demons of Muspelheim.
"IT HAS HAIR THAT MOCKS OUR BEAUTIFUL SKIN WITH INFERIOR RED! BURN IT!"
This particular intersection in Manhattan has seen better days, with cars scattered and civilians running for their very eyes as the quantum tunnel that goes from the New York underground to some place very, very far away spills molten rock and ash into the very air. Along with a healthy helping of demons big and small.
There, in the middle of it all, is the aformentioned fire-haired affront to all things Muspel-Demon, ATLI WODENDOTTIR, GIRL OF THUNDER.
…And her trusty goat, Toothbender.
With a roar the goat bursts through an overturned truck and slams into the demon that dared scream at Atli, who frontkicks a demon back to it's hole before spinning her spear round and round over head to bring thunder and lighting to the sky. "Dare not speak of my hair, foul demon! This is the second time my viewing of the Earth classic Pootie Tang has been interrupted, and you will feel the full measure of Asgardian Wr-"
"BURN!"
And then twelve demons pile upon Atli, intent on turning her into living slag.
Nathaniel is interrupted from his planning to take over Transia (in the name of the UN, of course) by a small alarm poking through his cybernetic interface. What was th… oh!
It is the experimental dimensional anomaly scanner he is working in his spare time to detect when beings of other dimensions shift to Earth. It is crude and fails most of the time, but something might be there.
Satellite pictures focus down and reveal indeed something is there. Avenger channel opens. Who is there? “Captain America, we have an incursion of… unidentified fire aliens at the following coordinates. Moving to assist.” Coordinates are pretty much just around the corner. Iron Guard will be there in 20 seconds.
Most people complain about the smell of the subway. Cap isn't one of those people. Considering how well sewage management has improved over the years, the First Avenger doesn't mind walking and taking the subway from time to time. But there are other downsides, like it seems to have gotten even more crowded than it used to be. So when the call goes out a few stops down the line, the urge to just move through the crowds is there, but Steve soon reconsiders and moves back out of the station and back to the street at large. He speaks a few words to JARVIS, getting the new system Stark was so excited about online and moving to a nearby restaurant to do the SUPERHERO CHANGE. Once he is ready, a calm "Your position is locked in, ready for your cue" comes from the familiar AI.
"Roger," Cap simply states as he leaps once into the air.
"Confirmed, jump again in three, two, one…"
The First Avenger leaps into the air, where his hand reaches out to grab the shield tossed at high speeds to get to his location from whatever droid or launcher allowed him to have his shield so swiftly. In theory, it was calculated to be just enough to get to Steve and let him have his shield at the ready. However, field tests were always preferred by Tony as opposed to you know, testing it to see if it actually works as intended. That said, the disc is launched with a little 'too much pepper' and Rogers is dragged along as if he were some patriotic version of Thor, flying through the air by shield force alone. About two hundred feet later or so, the momentum stops and Steve finds himself landing on a car, thudding with his bare back into the roof and seriously denting it. The blare of the alarm is not pleasant in the ears, but it only encourages him that much more to get up and continue in his run toward the danger.
However, somehow, Cap gets there before the Iron Guard, resulting in him pointing a firm finger at the entire group of people fighting. "Hey, I think you all need to cool off. In New York City, we talk about our problems in a calm and civil manner."
As if on cue, some random driver can be heard shouting obscenities up above as he gets into an accident with someone rubbernecking and watching the chaos unfold.
"…Calm and civil manner," Cap repeats, as if to himself.
The blade of a spear explodes out of the back of a hulking fire demon's head just as Captain America finishes his explanation of New York City's famed reputation for being a diplomatic place. As the Iron Guard homes in, lightning will suddenly streak past them, a blinding flash impacting Atli's spear and sending an explosive shockwave outward that sends demons tumbling away.
Some are utterly annihilated, others simply thrown into shopfronts and through cars, toppling light posts and one unfortunate demon about the size of a Pomeranian is caught in mid air by a very angry goat.
So begins a thrashing it has never known, it's little body bouncing between two parked cars the goat had been using as cover (not really it had decided to snack on a bumper).
Breathing heavily, the Girl of Thunder hauls herself up, her cape on fire, but just a little. A quick pat of her hand puts it out, and she blinks at this man dressed in Red, White, and mostly Blue.
"Hel's Bells! You are a spitting image from my grandfather's stories. Except, not quite as.. " The Asgardian makes a gesture, as if Steve should have a beard. "..manly. But yes! Well met, and to the fray Blue Shieldmaiden of Earth! And look! Metal Men from the sky! A great rout! A beautiful battle! FOR ASGARD! FOR MIDGARD! FOR GLORY!"
With that, Atli decides to practice more of what Cap is preaching by using 'words' to discuss this horrible issue with a demon trying to crawl out of the hole at her feet, stomping on it, but shouting at it too. Words, like Cap said, are important!
Not a single syllable of what she says could be repeated on network television.
Nathaniel was raised in a world without curse words. He has refused to use them so far, sticking to his image of good guy. That lightning grazing his armor almost makes him break this trend. "Asgardian," he comments instead, to the Avenger coms. Bit his tongue there.
That blast seems to have killed (destroyed?) a few demons. And the giant space goat is also helping! A couple of the fiery critters are still able to stand up, though. "Friends of… her grandfather, Captain? Who is the lady?"
The armored man lands in front of one of the surviving demons. "Good afternoon. You are under arrest, pleas sur… no, I did not thing that would work either," as the demon tries to stab him with a flaming short sword, Iron Guard grabs the creature's wrist and attempts to pull him down. Unfortunately it is a demon from Muspelheim, considerably stronger than him even with his armor. The flaming creature barely moves a few inches and snarls at the young man.
Some days one can't play nice. Iron Guard raises his other arms and blasts the snarling demon face off with a repulsor blast. Point blank.
His armor sensors didn't register 'him' as alive anyway.
"Pleased to meet you, battlemaiden," he salutes to Atli.
As Rogers is recognized, there is a brief pause as he takes in the information, his lips making a thin line at the unintentional slight. "Of course," he remarks as an Asgardian doesn't think he's as manly as expected.
With the enemy sighted, the shield is brought to bear, thrown once, twice, three times toward one demon in particular as he charges, spinning with each toss as he moves forward as if it were some sort of ballet, trying to get as much force behind each strike as possible. After all, these /are/ demons, so he can afford to not worry about accidently killing them. Heck, some of these tougher ones will require all Cap has just to put them down in a timely fashion.
Once the gap is closed, the final 'catch' of the shield allows for it to settle upon his forearm so that Captain America can bring the symbol of freedom overhead to try and plow it into the face of the foe in front of him. "Well met!" Rogers replies to Atli in kind.
As Richards asks about who the woman is, it is meet with a simple "Not sure". A glance is given toward the spear and the goat, which lends itself to a comment that swiftly follows. "But I have my suspicions."
"IT SMELLS OF THE TRICKSTER! BURRRRR-ERK"
The demon shouting at Atli is quickly blasted to oblivion by The Iron Guard, and the one Steve is fighting takes it's licks, it's head bobbling at the shield assault, finally toppling backwards until it lands ass-first on the head of another demon trying to crawl out of the interdimensional tunnel it's made.
"MERCY! I NOT BURN ANYMOR-" The small demon that Toothbender has ahold of does not last another moment, the goat finding that it's little skull tastes much like a grapefruit once one gets past all the crunching. Atli eyes this and winces, running a hand down her face.
"Foolish goat! Why can you not simply bash things with your horns or trample things with your ungainly hooves! Now who will clean your coat? Not me, I swear thee, not me!"
Then, the demon sitting on the hole all but explodes, showering Atli in something that looks like red slushie. The goat might even think it tastes like it, but mostly it just tastes like despair, because it's demon insides. From the gap in the ground rises a great hooved beast that towers twelve feet tall at least, a great axe in it's hand, and… it has no other possessions.
In fact, it is entirely naked.
"Grandfather's Beard! Quickly, Toothbender, charge groinward before it's intimidation tactics can have the chosen affect upon my allies!" Then, Atli looks around. "Does anyone have a way to plug this hole from which all of Muspelheim seems to crawl through? Perhaps your shield, if we set it just right…
The hole bubbles lava and spews ash. Yeeeeeeeeah.
Meanwhile the goat scrapes one hoof. It's tail seems to glow with something akin to rainbow colors. Assuredly this will not end badly for anyone.
Quick scanning reveals Cap is dealing with the last 'active' demon but there a gravitational anomaly that is… a hole into hell. Apparently. And Nathaniel does not even believe in 'hell' as a concept.
"Er… no. Lets not try to cover -that- with a patriotic artifact," he comments. Twelve. Feet. Tall. Demon. Still not registering as alive and barely biologically correct in its nakedness. "Lightning seems to work well on them," he points out. "Captain, if I can have a minute I might be able to disrupt the gateway with gravimetric pulse. But I need to reconfigure my weapon systems."
"I dealt with the supernatural elements of the Third Reich, this is nothing," Cap replies, clearly able to conduct himself with more professionalism as required in times like this. There is a large frown that expresses his official disapproval, however. As the goat prepares himself as Iron Guard proclaims that he needs to ready his weapon systems, Cap merely raises his shield and moves to ensure that he is blocking the way between Demon and Nate. Also might protect himself in case the goat's antics result in something unplanned. After all, Asgardian creatures often can have odd powers, as the rainbow tail suggest.
Despite the size of the hellish foe, Rogers merely digs his feet in and narrows his eyes, clearly planning on stopping the creature if it tries to advance.
"Don't worry, consider that portal closed," the Star Spangled Man with a Plan replies confidently. "Just need to make sure that big boy over there doesn't give us any unwanted grief."
Oh, it looks like it wants to advance. Steve Rogers reminds it of an old flatmate that STILL owes it back rent. Which might explain it's next words, if either of them knew the truth of the matter. "YOU WILL PAY THE PRIC-AH!!"
THWAP comes the flat of Atli's spear from behind the creature, forcing her to turn. Thankfully she is deft in her motion and avoids being clotheslined by swinging unmentionables.
Then comes the goat.
Pouring from behind the creature comes a vortex of ephemeral power in every color of the rainbow, a brilliant display that pulls energy from time and space and turns the goat's coat those colors as well. It's odd, ugly eyes light up with an inner fire, and it launches itself at Bifrost-speed at the Demon's groin, hitting it with enough force to power entirely through the demon, exploding it's pelvis and hips and sending it tumbling to the ground as little more than a flailing torso.
Atli barely has time to raise her spear, to absorb the victory, because that's when the goat hits Captain America's shield.
In it's own mind, Toothbender is an Unstoppable Force. A bastion for all goathood. An ideal to aspire too, for all goat kind. Unfortunately, Toothbender has never yet met an immovable object - until today.
The shockwave ripples outward, shattering windows for blocks and shaking the ground for miles. Crumpled, like someone had taken the goat and balled it up and pressed it against Cap's shield, the creature shudders in place, lets out a goatly groan, and flops to the ground with it's legs skyward.
All Atli can do is stare for awhile, her spear half raised. Now is no time to ruin a good victory with concern for the goat. "YESSSS!!!!!"
It should be noted Nathaniel's armor has recording devices of all kinds and what just happened will be kept in the Avengers servers to awe and terrify future generations of heroes.
At least Tony will get a good laugh of it.
Probably Thor too, some day.
"Yes, good job." Comments Iron Guard blandly. Please, step away from the dimensional breach. This disruption might have unforeseen consequences. Although hopefully not explosive ones."
But one never knows. It is a safe bet the gateway is a supernatural construct and there is not a mechanism he can understand keeping it open. Besides, gravimetric pulses within planetary gravity wells are always dangerous. "Three. Two. One…" another big demon shows his ugly head off the hole. "Pulse."
Space bends visibly, and everyone feels very light for a few seconds. The demon's head explodes messily. But by now almost everyone is covered head to toes in demon gore. So who cares, right?
Shields are great things. When the ichors rain down in the wake of the goat's kill, it is raised up to defend Cap's upper torso, only the boots getting splashed with something that will likely need holy water and special soap to get out? Or just burned. Likely just burned.
Then there is an unexpected impact as the goat does not stop, Rogers' whole body pushed back a couple of feet by the mighty impact. Thankfully, he gave himself enough room that it doesn't affect Richards as he does his portal closing thing.
Steve pulls down his shield to look at the goat. "Um, is that thing okay? I mean it looks kinda de-" He pauses as there is another wave of demon guts coming for him. The shield is raised a second time, sparing Rogers upper body once more. The shoes are definitely getting burned as biohazards when he gets back to SHIELD.
But shields are great things. Also SHIELD.
As it seems that the battle is over, the shield with all it's disgusting adnorments is lowered as Steve asks, "Is everyone okay?"
Just like that, the portal seals, which means the Earth around it collapses inwards, and the lava pouring from it instantly cools. Somehow, there are no casualties. Well. Almost no casualties.
"Foolish goat, upright yourse-" But then Atli sees the truth of it, pent up energy dissolving poor Toothbender's body. Well, at least everything that isn't bone, the rest of him turning to ash. With a slog Atli pulls a bag from under her coat and kneels in the demon gut muck, pulling the bones one by one into her satchel.
"Toothbender is prone to bouts of drama, fear not, it is but a flesh wound." She says, shaking out Toothbender's blackened skull before shoving it in a bag too. Finally she rises, the whole mess hoisted over one shoulder.
"I see that Grandfather did not hesitate about the measure of your resolve, Rogers of Midgard. And you! You must be the Metal Man my grandfather told me about! Yes he commented often about how you were always inventing things you could not control or understand, a menace to Midgard in your own right!" Atli says it all with a brilliant smile, sweeping viscera-streaked hair to the side and out of her face. "What glory we have achieved here today speaks volumes as to why my Grandfather insisted on naming Midgards new rivers after you all. I did not understand when he sought to remake this pitiful world's blasted landscape, nor protect it from the Devourer of Worlds, but now I do. I am Atli, daughter of Woden, child of Asgard and Girl of Thunder. Know this day we have earned revels. Know this day, we will bask in the sweet, smooth taste of your Midgardian delicacies, and be celebrated the world over. TO BASKIN ROBINS, QUICKMARCH!"
Is everyone okay? Nathaniel just caused some serious damage to a number of armor systems and needs a few seconds to rebuild, reset and restart them. "I… can see anyone with serious injuries but the goat here which…" is disintegrating.
No comment while Atli picks up the creatures bones except, "you missed the lacramal bone, Lady Atli," he points out, picking up a relatively small bone and handling it to the redhead.
"And I suspect you are confusing me with Anthony Stark. I am Nathaniel Richards, codename Iron Guard. You talk like a time traveler, my favorite kind of people." Ice-cream in November is something only Asgardians (and young children) would consider. So… "as an alternative, allow me to invite you to the Avenger's Mansion, just four city blocks from here. I am curious about your presence in this age. And… we have showers. Flaming alien gore is quite possibly unhealthy even for Asgardians." Pause. "I am pretty sure we also have ice-cream."
There is a long and awkward pause as Steve watches the animal handling go down as the goat is reduced to bone. PETA would not be happy about this, not one bit. Thankfully, Rogers has yet to be approached to approve their cause. Or at least the secretary is wise enough to keep those calls from his desk. Blue eyes flicker up toward Atli. "Glad you're alright," he states to the warrior woman before he looks toward Iron Guard. "Well, it looks like we don't have any injured people here. Think we got lucky."
As talk of Baskin Robbins or the mansion is brought up, Rogers doesn't really seem to have much of an opinion, merely having a hand on his helm to speak to what is likely SHIELD.
"Yes, I'm reporting demonic incursion for clean up." Short pause. "Demonic Incursion." Another short pause before he enunciates even more clearly. "Demonic. Incursion."
Yet another pause. "Clean-up Requested." Steve's teeth clench. "Clean. Up. Requested." Pause. "Need to speak to handler. HANDLER." It looks like they put him on the automated situation call line (likely Black Widow). SOMEONE IS GOING TO HEAR ABOUT THIS. "I need to speak with an operator."
This might be awhile.
"Showers? The whole world is a shower when you command the sky!" Indeed, to say that she bathes outdoors often would be an understatement. After all, what are all those fountains for in Las Vegas in such a dry place, if not to keep dust free?! She raises her spear, and again thunder sounds and lightning streaks, and the heavens do downpour.
In mere moments, what is left of the demons is dissolving away to run towards New York's top notch sewer system. Of course, Atli cannot help but laugh when Nathaniel mentions Anthony Stark, her smile persisting as she speaks. "Anthony. What a stupid name." Her marveling over Stark's full name comes to an end when she hears Steve speaking to himself, nodding with a grave look, sidling closer to Nathaniel to take the piece of misplaced goat and stow it with the others.
"This happened to Grandfather as well as he advanced in age. Speaking to invisible people and then claiming to be in the astral realm. We all knew it was a cover. Thankfully almost no one existed that he could harm when he randomly started spouting off bolts of Thorforce here and there. Still, I cannot help but wonder if perhaps a demon caught him at the temple. He cannot be so old as to have lost his mind. He has no beard to speak of, nor disgusting wrinkles! Rogers of Midgard, verily, what are you on about? There is ice cream to be had! Provided for no gold at all by my good friend here Nathaniel of… Metal Place. Yes. Come, come, there is no need to speak to the invisible people anymore, /we/ will be your friends."
“Thorforce, hmm?” That explains a couple of things, indeed. “No, I am sure the Captain is merely using a communication device to talk to law enforcement authorities. They will want to know what happened here, but he called the wrong department. An incident like this should use direct emergency channels to the supernatural division. Senior Agent Melinda May.”
“Captain, I will handle it,” Nathaniel approaches the older Avenger. “I have sent a message to Agent May. WAND will handle the incident with discretion and efficiency. And speaking of discretion,” he makes a vague gesture towards Atli.
“Hot water, Lady Atli,” offers Nathaniel. “The Avengers Mansion is the fortress where our band of warriors gathers for our quests. We… may be the people you heard your grandfather talk about. I am not sure, but I am curious and I want to know. In any case, please accept our hospitality for the day.”
As the more tech savvy Avenger decides to make the report, Rogers notes in approval. That said, the shield is finally slung over the back of Captain America as he moves back into the conversation.
While the mention of Steve's title by Atli causes the First Avenger to arch a brow, he says nothing on it. Instead, he remarks on the radio. "I was just communicating with people through the two-way system we have. It's like… um, a spell cast on my helmet that lets me talk through it like that." A half beat goes on before he speaks again, as if going through a previous conversation. "No, you can't use it," he adds, to cut off any questions before they come. As Richards seems to understand it all, Rogers doesn't even pretend, but well, he's patient enough to see it through and it seems that Nate seems to be ready to ask the right questions.
"If you're allied with Thor, then it's no problem for you to be with us for a short time," Steve adds in the wake of Richard's offer.
"I've had enough heat for one day! It is a shame there is not a Jotun to give me a backrub. Scorbjorn is Asgard's premiere masseuse where I come from, a cool touch to mend the most overworked muscles. But still, your offer is gladly accepted, on two conditions. I will need a place to bury the bones of my goat so that he might pull himself together by good morrow, and two, a bed all my own. I do not often mind sharing but due to an unfortunate accident involving one of Rocket's quests to make a automatic pancake maker, I was forced to use Quill's bed. I do not know what that man gets up to, but his sheets do smell of something quite fierce! And this, from someone who has used a goat as a pillow!"
Her gaze squints at Steve, and then she throws her head back for a roaring laugh, one hand smacking her stomach before she doubles over in the rain, slamming her spear to the ground to tell it to return to sword form, the haft shrinking down so that she might sheath it at her back.
"He is my grandfather, Rogers of Midgard. If I do not protect him from his own foolishness he'll not survive long enough to…" She makes a vague punching motion. "Well, lets just say my father is yet to be born." She ends the motion with a clap of her hands, all smiles as she looks between her two new friends. "But yes. Onward! Let us march to the glory of your manse and all it's revels that await."
"We have rooms for guests," promises Nathaniel. The mansion itself does not seem much of a fortress from the outside. Although it is a large building with a spacious garden… where a goat can be properly buried and resurrected at dawn. A process Nathaniel will be watching with puzzled interest.
The rooms are very nice for Migardian standards. The fortress place, with the reinforced metal and bunker areas is actually underground. Maybe to see later. For now… a victory party with abundant ice-cream is due. Verily! (Or something).