Something Spyish

July 19, 2017:

Iron Man, Spoiler, Melinda May and Phil Coulson team up to take out a Chitauri portal that alien smugglers are using to bring a dangerous fuel source onto planet earth.

Plain Dealing, LA

Can you get high-speed Internet? No! Can you get Chitauri? Yes!


NPCs: None.

Mentions: Batman, Nathaniel Richards

Mood Music: [*\# None.]

Fade In…

As various intel about Icarus Dynamics and its activities has continued to come to light it's become clear that no earthly science could explain some of what those planes could do. Thanks to the Black Widow, SHIELD now knows it is not, in fact, earthly science. They're using some sort of Chitauri fuel capsule that's being smuggled in from a covert portal…

Which SHIELD had a real rough time locating. But finally they did locate the thing, and in an unlikely place, too. It's deep on 25 acres in a place called Plain Dealing, Louisiana, a hot, muggy, out-of-the-way spot in the northern part of the state that can't even get proper Internet…

Which makes it absolutely perfect for a bunch of aliens to do business. Anything strange is marked by the locals and then promptly ignored by anyone who isn't.

Satellite intel shows a roughly living-room sized silvery stargate that looks a bit reminiscent of the St. Louis Arch. Quinn Industries trucks occasionally roll in through the ancient front gate, take off with truckloads of fuel which are fed through the portal, and then drive off again. That means there are lots of supplies out there still, but tonight two Avengers and two SHIELD Agents have a chance to cut all this off at the source.

This won't be easy. A goodly number of Chitauri guards, about twelve of them, zoom about on air patrol, riding hoverboards and armored to the nines, carrying shocklances that serve as both melee and powerful ranged weapons. About six hang out on the ground, keeping the operation running at a sort of basecamp that's set up right next to the portal.

The objective is simple. Get to that thing and destroy it. The execution? Maybe not so much. But, Avengers being Avengers and everyone's capabilities well known, this smaller force, one which can slip in without freaking out locals and get the job done, has been deemed up to the challenge.


Simple plans have the greatest margins for error. May is only too familiar with that. But this needs to be done quickly and quietly and… with that in mind, she really hopes the two Avengers that came with Coulson and her understand the concept of quiet.

Having picked an ingress point hopefully adequately shielded from easy view by the stands of trees in the area, May looks to Coulson before eyeing the fencing. This rural an area, she's not expecting to find sensors or electric wires, but that doesn't mean she's not going to look for them.


Inside the Quinjet Tony Stark is dressed to impress. Which means he's got on a suit. A Mk something or other suit, he doesn't really keep track of that too well. Though its painted in his standard colorscheme of hot red red and gold its bulkier than normal. More amror, more weapons, more hidden little secrets.

His faceplate is up right now as he gives the final checks to the other Avenger in attendence.

"Alright, Spoilsport." He calls her as he runs though the last checklist. "Test the optical cammo and you should be good. Remember you'll have about a six story jump ceiling, and a five minuite hover out of the jet-boots until you start to burn them out." He smirks slightly. "Nate is gonna kill me, but hey. He wanted to stress test the suit, and this is defintally a stress test."

"You have taser weapons in the hands, feet, knees, elbows and head. That should be enough to knock even those things out. The right arm is my own version of an ICER in it, fully automatic and should work on the Chituari. Right arm is your launcher for all your special little grenades."

The man smirks again. "Oh and the helment blocks brain scans, biometrics, and anything else that can be used to ID you. Tossed that one in there for free." He grins again as he steps back.

"Oh yeah," His faceplate closes. "Try not to get shot too much. I just finished the paint-job on it."


May hoped for quiet. She got half of what she wanted. Mostly. How on Earth Stark convinced a Batling to trade in the sleek nomex for a Sleek by Stark's Standards hard suit is anyone's guess. But there she is, the batling Avenger, in a slimmer quiet version of an Iron Man suit, very nicely and freshly (as he pointed out) in purple and black.

The faceplate hides the way she rolls her eyes at the name. Stephanie's gotten very good at rolling her eyes and not having it tell on her face or the cant of her shuolders. Batman still thumps her for rolling her eyes at him, though.

As Tony walks her through her systems checks, Spoiler's confirming, making sure she knows where things are and so forth.

"Hmm… a bonus. How very kind of you. I promise I will get shot less than you will," she retorts to the red and gold shiny suit of HERE I AM!

Optical camo is triggered. Spoiler's suit ripples once then vanishes from sight.

"I'm ready."


Phil really did account for the fact that neither of the Avengers are equipped for 'quiet'. In fact, letting them be loud? That's the plan.

"Alright, team," he says quietly. "Spoiler, Iron Man, make some noise, do what you can to engage those guys. May, you and I are going to slip through the chaos as quietly as we can and set some charges on that portal. We may have to defend ourselves on the ground, but in general, it should look like those two are the real threat while they keep their eyes off us."

Simple, direct, to the point. Not every plan has to be the work of a Magnificent Mastermind. Or Magnificent Bastard, depending on how you feel about Phil.

"Though I agree, both of you should try to minimize the amount of 'getting shot' that you do."

He puts on a body armor vest, and hands May her share of the charges, all neatly placed in a backpack with the iconic SHIELD eagle on it, cause that's just how this super-secret spy organization rolls.

"Any questions?"


"This is one of those plans where you just tell me what I'm gonna do anyway to make yourself look good isn't it?" Tony asks as he shrugs. "Alright, I go high. Spoilkins you go low. We meet in the middle or something…" He calls as he starts for the open hatch of the jet. "…Agent May. Always terrifing!" He greets towards the other SHIELD agent. "Have you and Phil had coffee yet?"

He is totally gunning to get shot again isn't he?

Before either of the SHIELD agents can open fire on him though he steps into the clear. "See you on the flip side!"

With a whine the repulsor jets spin up sending Iron Man skyward. Making…as they said…a lot of noise.


May turns a flat look to Coulson after Iron Man makes his noisy exit and entrance. But other than that she doesn't acknowledge the inventor's verbal diarrhea. Even if she STILL hates coffee.

Shouldering the backpack, May nods to Coulson then gets out her fence-cutting device. She's ready to get them through it the moment Stark and his purple protege distract the contingent of Chitauri. Though she won't deny that she's got her eye on one of those staff weapons the air sled ones are toting about.


"Make… some noise?" Spoiler deadpans at Phil, head tilting faintly to one side. Spoiler just shakes her head, moving toward the exit after Tony. But, unlike him, Spoiler does not jet off in a whine of repulsors. Instead, she sets off in a stealthy lope, her optical camo wavering slightly as she moves. It's a little louder than she's used to, but she's moving quieter than Iron Man flying high above and at ground level she's positioned to cover the two squishier agents moving toward the objective.

"Coms working?" she says softly as she uses her HUD to scan for hostiles, seeking to get ahead of dangers.


Sure, Tony could read it as Phil telling him to do what he's going to do to make himself look good. Or he could read it as Phil being totally aware of the fact that Tony's going to do what he's going to do, and simply accounting for it. Either way honestly works. And then there's Spoiler, who doesn't want to make noise, but he's really accounted for that too. As long as they get the job done. Phil doesn't bother dignifying Tony's teasing accusation with an answer.

Instead, he waits for Tony to take off, even as he notes to May (as if reading her thoughts, though of course, he is not), "All this time and he still hasn't caught on to the fact that you hate coffee. I mean. I know you hate coffee."

It's just one of those moments that lets him renew his membership in the ranks of the Dorcish Elite.

"That's a check on coms," he says into his, for Spoiler's benefit.

Spoiler being quiet means that Tony gets all that fire though. All of it. Twelve angry Chitauris buzzing like a swarm of wasps, all firing shots at him which lance through the air in an explosion of light and heat. On the ground, the other six mobilize into a guard position around the portal.

But…they're certainly not going to stop May from cutting the fence open from that position.


Like a hot knife through butter. May's got the fence cut open in a matter of seconds and she pulls it aside to let Coulson through ahead of her. She can tell which direction all of the Chitauri are looking toward (duh), so she moves to dash from bit of cover to bit of cover in that direction. And while a stealth suit like Spoiler's might have made getting in ridiculously easy, that level of firepower is more important doing distracting and deflecting. And honestly, May prefers that. She's old school that way.



…but Tony isn't there to argue the fact. In fact Tony ins't in a position to argue much of anything since he's getting shot at.

A lot.

"So!" He says conversationlly as the angry buzzing of Chituari sleds begins to angle towards him. "I'm gonna take it you arn't all gonna line up and show me your IDs are ya?"

The flurry of energy weapon fire that answers him is a accurate reply.

The first round catches him in the shoulder, turning him slightly in the air before he slowly rights himself to stare down the six of them. "Right then. JARVIS. We do it the hard way."

Targeting systems spin up on the HUD of the suit as his stablisers flex before he goes shooting towards the sleds, repuslor beams firing off bright energy to meet their own.


From below, Spoiler doesn't seek to draw attention to herself, but as Tony starts taking fire, the batling makes that first leap, grabbing at a Chitauri speeder bike and hauling herself up onto it. A zap and Spoiler wrests control of the sled away from the aliens. It starts to plunge, and Spoiler wastes little time. She leaps for another, seeking to repeat the dismantling of Chitauri sleds one at a time, and letting Tony knew where she's gonig she he doesn't shoot her down.


Phil dashes through the fence, keeping low to the ground. He's a stealthy fellow, but the portal is surrounded. Which is why he very stealthily shoots a Chitauri in the face with a silenced weapon. He doesn't bother with an ICER. These guys are pretty much the worst, they're invaders, and he has no time to screw around with their smuggler nonsense today. The thing drops silently, giving him a clear route to his side of the portal. May will have to make her own route.

Meanwhile, Tony takes out three of the speederbike guys, and Spoiler takes out another three. Around that time they do become aware of the fact that Spoiler basically exists. The remaining three skybound ones divide up. In a series of extreme tactical and evasive maneuvers, they begin firing at both of them, even as the guys on the ground train fire up at them. This will definitely be a measure of the Avenger's abilities, because that is a whole lot of fire from a whole lot of weapons.


Coulson goes in one direction, May goes in another. It's like they've done this kind of thing before. She also doesn't bother with her ICER, though her idea of silently dropping one of the Chitauri is to pull what might look like a Crocodile Dundee-level knife from a distance and using it to lop the creature's had off in one decisive swipe. Let's see it get up from THAT. She doesn't even wait for the body to fall, going straight for the next Chitauri in her path.


Tony can't help but smile as he sees those Chituari go down seemingly without realising it. The man does like to see his work go to good use. But then there isn't time for things like enjoying his work, because he is once again getting shot at.

A lot.

Energy beams caress his armor and knock him left and right as the weapons converge on him. But he expect that, trusting his armor, using the turbulance to dodge other rounds as he sweeps his gaze across the airborne targets.

"Spoiler you got some gift to hand out to those guys on the ground? Something explosive I hope. They look sad and I think they need a friend."

Target locks ring in his ear as he raises an arm. A pannel slides free as a cluster of micro-missiles launch is rapid sequence and arc in towards the speeding aleins.

"Phil, May. We defintally have their attention! Do…something…spyish!"


Leaping onto one sled, Spoiler flings a pair of flash bangs down at the group Tony pointed out before she yanks the driver into a blast from below. She leaps from the explosion, using it to mask the ripple in her camo as she freefalls as far as she dares before triggering the hover jumpjet to slow her decent.

"Six from the air are disabled. Taking the ones on the ground," Spoiler updates in a calm and useful Battish sort of way, landing down and waiting a heartbeat for the optics to realign themselves so she can stealth-sprint… sprint-stealth?… into the ones on the ground firing up at Tony. How many can she take making full use of the flash bangs and tazer weapons the suit is kitted with? She's going to keep count, and send a little message to Tony.

Spoiler: 4
Iron Man: 3


Chitauri sleds spiral off into the night and explode in the fields as Iron Man and Spoiler do their work. On the ground, May soundlessly takes out two, leaving three for Spoiler's efforts. Flash bangs and tazer weapons take out the rest, and…well…suddenly it's just very quiet, because between these three deadly people they've taken out…pretty much…pretty much everyone.

"Do. Something. Spyish," Phil says over the coms, into the sudden silence. He sounds ever so dry.

He sets his half of the charges. Spyishly. And steps back.

"Do the honors, May," he says, since she has the other half of the charges. "Set 'em, light her up."

This one went faster than he anticipated. But hey, it's really okay with him that a mission kind of went right for a change.


May, as she's in full mission mode, doesn't comment on Tony's quips the way Phil does. She simply steps past all of the now-fallen Chitauri and sets her own charges. "Get clear," she tells the team — the only words she's spoken since they disembarked from the quinjet — and then she's running for the break in the fence where she and Coulson came in.

She doesn't want to be anywhere close to that portal when the explosives go off.


Spoiler: 7

With the last of hers downed, Spoiler scans for more, keeping watch as May and Phil finish with the explosives. Told it's time to clear out, she does just that. However, she keeps pace with May and Phil ready to grab and leap with either or both if it looks like it'll be needed.

"Suit's still loud when I run, Tony," she quips into her comms at Iron Man, as she flicks a glance at the decibel meter she keeps active.


Tony just stares down at the ground where Spoiler and her suit is. "Are you keeping score?" He asks as he almost casually raises his arm and blows a hole though a alien trying to sneak up on him. "…alright I can't fault you for it. Style points. How did the suit hold up?"

As he hovers there, checking for other targets in the area to make sure of things. "Eh I'll tweak it when I get back, the sound baffles must be faulty. At least the energy armor and cammo works."


Phil is a little slower than he used to be.

Nowhere does that show more plainly than when he starts running for the 'get clear' point. He's probably right on the cusp of when he ought to stop taking field assignments and just dole them out to younger agents, but he hasn't lost the love of the thing yet, and hasn't quite seen his way clear to settle in behind a desk forever and direct activities.

Fortunately, Spoiler is there, and just as the massive KERBOOOM lights up the night in good ole Plain Dealing, scattering cidadas into silence and causing someone on the next farm over to whoop loud enough to echo through the night…

She manages to grab-grasshopper leap one Phil Coulson, getting him before some flying portal debris can crush his skull and end his career even earlier than it might otherwise end.

He has heard about the scorekeeping, so as he stares off at the fireworks, then up at Spoiler, he solemnly says, "I'm going to award you another point for that."

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