No Cat Jokes

June 25, 2017:

Catwoman is approached and given an offer shes hard pressed to refuse.


NPCs: None.



Mood Music: [*\# None.]

Fade In…

A text message. Encrypted and on a secure channel. Simple text; "Catwoman. I want her. ~W"
That was hours ago and it interrupted Taskmaster's day. Not a fast day as he had hoped as his target wasn't following usual routine, it is hard to assassinate someone when they break schedule. The sniper rifle was collapsed, tucked away for later use and the tiny apartment loft is departed. Taskmaster is a professional after all and Waller is a preferred customer after all.

The skullface of Taskmaster fades from view as his image inducer activates, a shimmer and the armor, skull, gear all gets overlapped with a holographic projection of a middle-aged man with a gut, a single strip of brown hair and glasses. Faded business jacket and slacks. The last known where abouts are almost always East End when Catwoman is in Gotham, when shes not, who knows where she haunts.

He is there now, currently, in the East End, staring at the woman's once upon a time Tin Roof Club, he isn't sure what its status anymore but its where he will inquire first. Rose was enlisted to assist in case it was required, not Taskmaster's orders those are Wallers. A destination and told to meet the mercenary.


Catwoman wasn't terribly far away from the Tin Roof Club this evening, as luck would have it. There was reports over a local gangs radio waves about an thief matching her description having just thwarted a truck load of their 'boys' and was now making off with their drug money.

Catwoman was, currently, seated on her purple/black sport motorcycle and she was raicing down the streets of Gotham with a black pick-up track trailing after her, a man standing in the back of the truck had a gun and he was taking pot shots at her, but with all the wild driving, it was almost impossible to land a hit!

When his gun was spent on ammo, he cursed and shouted at the driver of the truck to pull up alongside her, so a good old fashioned street-chase was in progress, the black pickup truck battling to get up onto the left side of Catwoman on her motorcycle.


Rose got the little chime of "Hells Bells" on her phne, and Wallers demands. A sigh and Rose pulls the pillow off her face to hoist a leg over the edge of her hammoc-bed and send it into a spin that lands her on her feet and to her closet….

East End:

Rose knows this area well enough, so when she is walking the sidewalk it is in heels that create legs for miles, the flickering of nightlife lights showing glimpses of the stockings that weave patterns over her legs, clasped front and back upon thighs with garters to disappear beneath a leather miniskirt that 'wanted-to-be,' but is barely…

A corseted torso matching laces that cling the skirt to her posterior, studded just over the top of chest where pushed flesh seeks to escape but is stuck beneath the tight fit of leather and… humidity.

It's fucking hot right now. Or its the damn clothing, scant but… no breathing… At all.

Black hair is short, one side shaved, the other long, tipping ends over bare shoulder while two blue eyes stare at a car that approaches and rolls down its window, calling to the figure who bends and rests forearm along the passenger window.

"No, sweet tits, you want some, you need to understand…." A lean in… The car peels off!

Meet Black Rose… And she just hurt someones sensibilities.

The dumpy man with the comb over? He gets a finger-wiggle wave!


"Sweet fuck… " The disguised Taskmaster lets out as a bullet shatters the window of a cab beside him, the last round from the gunman on the truck. People scream and run in different directions while that car speeds away from 'Black Rose' only to have it's side crashed in to by another vehicle, one chasing a motorcycle.

"So much for a quiet little meet and greet." Taskmaster is ducking just incase anymore shots are fired, "Back to my car." He says then runs, door to the Jaguar XF-S peeled open and he slides in to the driver's seat, yanking his seatbelt on. "HURRY UP!" A shout, passenger side door unlocked. "Pretty damned sure that was Satan's next toy."


Catwoman was forced to slow her motorcycle to avoid traffic and a city schoolbus, she went to the right of it while the black pickup truck swerved around it to the left causing all the people inside the school bus to glue their faces to the windows to watch!

When the two vehicles came around to the front of the yellow bus, they met up side-to-side and sped through another intersection arousing the explosion of honked horns and angry Gothamites cursing out their car windows.

Now, vying for road ownership, Catwoman vs the Truck of gangers… The man in the back was lining up for her, while Catwoman was giving short quick glances to her left to judge them.

"Run her off the road!" The man in the back shouted to the men inside and just before the truck could swerve her direction… Catwoman's left hand flung out and tossed an explosive smoke bomb inside the truck's window!

POP! went the explosive, filling the truck's cab with plumes of white smoke and the driver started weaving the pickup wildly around on the streetway!


B Rose is already on the move, as if in pursuit of the escaping possible client, moving in those heels like a pro, but a flick of hair and fingers run through it, hearing the radio call and heading where the vehicle awaits the Squad.

"On him!" On it… Taskmaster may have to wait a single second longer then desired but the door flicgs open and before it is closed Rose is bending towards the back where her 'things' are, allowing the take-off velocity of the car going into gear to slam her door shut.

No seat belt, she is on it with pistols being drawn and that large promethium blade in effigy of Deathstroke's beings slid into a lap jostled by their speed.

"Then let's get her."


"The plan." The merc responds before they are joining the chase, "On her." Taskmaster corrects sidelong at Rose as his disguise fades showing the man in the skull mask, full UDON gear neat and trim to his form. The acceleration of the sports sedan is fast, enough so they are behind the truck as it begins to swerve and the smoke is pluming out.
"I hate Gotham." Taskmaster hisses before pushing down on the gas and giving the truck a bump on one side, shoving even to encourage it to flip out of the way and wreck. A little assist. Some damage to his car too but its not his favorite. He wouldn't bring one of those to this city.

"Lets hope she doesn't think we want to kill her too now. Do something to get her attention, something friendly." He punches it again trying to draw up through traffic and around obsticales to close in on Catwoman's bike.


The man in the back of the truck is flailing wildly, shouting at the two men inside the smoke filled cab. "Just stop! hit the brakes!" He said to the driver but thats when Taskmaster's vehicle came up on them and hit them from behind, causing the man to lurch inside the truck's bed.

Catwoman glanced back over her shoulder and she looked back to see the new vehicle who'd joined their little race party and it just made her red painted lips visibly smile.

As she swept her red-goggled-eyes forward again, she pulled up alongside the out of control truck and she reached her left hand out and hooked something to the man's wrist who was in the back tryi9ng to get the driver's attention.

The man in the back suddenly looked down to see what Catwoman had just done, and he only had about .5 seconds to come to the realization that she'd just hooped his wrist with the hand of her black leather bullwhip's wrist loop.

After that .5 seconds went by, Catwoman took a hard right down a large alley between two buildings, pulling the man from the back of the truck as the truck itself slammed right into a telephone pole only moments later!

Catwoman's purple / black motorcycle zipped down the alleyway now, with the man's body being drug on the dirty wet concrete behind her!


Do something…. friendly?

"This is not friendly. Does not compute." A smirk from Rose then as the Chiappas are plucked up, the sliders snapping into place and with a flick of thumbs, chambered and ready to fire. The garter? Far more heavy duty then it appears, the blade sliding into it, popping strands of fishnets in the slide of honed edge so near to skin.

A cigarette is lit, the window rolled down as Taskypoo hates the smell, even as it is held in a deep plum embrace as if it is so casual. "As you wish…" Wispered low while the seatbelt is strapped across, but then tethered around a thigh, looped to the foot of her boots, just under the heel for anchoring. "Warn me dirctions turning."

But then… Catwoman makes her own move, the truck careening off into a pole, so Rose instead leans across Taskmaster, one round fired and gas streams from the truck, just after the cigarette plucked and flicked into the nearby gutter where the gas will drain.

They got 1 minute to evac or…. Match in the gas tank!


A screech of tires and Taskmaster is spinning the wheel, "Oops." He says to Rose, probably due to the cigarette who knows she did roll a window down at least. Kind of.
The car slams a trashcan with a side, rips up of the ground around it and closes in behind Selina's cycle down the alleyway, just behind that man she is towing with the whip, "Fuck, she better not let him go. That shit hits my grill… " A light swerve to the side, trying to keep a clear angle of any bouncing people. "Seriously, get her attention." He brights her, dims, brights again. How do you say, friendly in a car chase when you look like the Grim Reaper?


One thing was for sure, neither of the men in the truck were conscious… so the odds of them getting out of that truck in time before Ravager's device would detonate, wasn't good.

Catwoman's bike roared down the alleyway, its engine echoing back and forth off of the old brick walls. But, sadly for the Catwoman… the alley had been fenced off for a construction site on the opposite street over that she was headed toward… This made Selina curse and look back over her shoulder, there was another car chasing her… two people inside of it…

With the fencing coming up fast, Selina had to act quit, and her choice was to suddenly stand up on her motorcycle, her hands still on the handles, her body completely bent over though, feet on seat and hands on the grips…. man being drug behind her, slamming into garbage and junk in the alleyway!

After about five seconds of standing on her bike in this position, readying herself… Catwoman leaned up and then shot straight up into the air! Her hands were extended far up and out, she grabbed the railing on a building's old fire-escape and did a full swining flip that brought her around to land on the fire escape two-stories up off the ground!

Catwoman's motorcycle tipped onto its side and slid down the alleyway where it hit the fencing tires-first… the man's body just drug lifelessly to a halt.


The Catwoman is an elusive one for a reason and as that man is evaded, his car shifts away so he doesn't become pizza and has to slam to a halt. Tires burning across alleyway pavement behind it before the vehicle crunches against the wall and debris opposite the roadkill.

Taskmaster steps out and stands up, "We just want to talk. If you noticed we're trying to help you out." A shout, though, he is moving as well leaping from the top of his car to jump over it, "Lets see if we can't get her to slow her roll." Those words to Rose while Taskmaster is running after Selina, trying to catch up, a snap of what sounds like a whip and a line hits that catwalk and he starts to pull himself up. Shes got a headstart of course but Taskmaster and Ravager are both peak level athletes as well. This will be an interesting exchange.


Catwoman reaches the 3rd story up when she hears the voice shouting after her, the two in the other car… they're still chasing her. She paused and looked down in time to see Taskmaster coming up after her, which made her hiss in frustration. She started to frantically look around but the old rusty iron fire escape was in diesrepair and there was no way up further without parkour… and this man seemed to be capable of that as well.

Catwoamn turned to the boarded up-burnt-out building that was apart of the renovation that had the alleyway blocked off…. and she rushed at the boarded up window, slammin gher shoulder into it once… twice! and with one final SLAM! The woman in the black/grey bodysuit and thieving gear, slammed through the old wood and into the darkness inside the building!

The room inside was a stark contrast, it was pure darkness and filled with old burnitu furniture… it was once an office building, but now it is nothing but lost memories and garbage.


Rose is a Wilson she'll figure out what to do. Taskmaster is trying his damnedesst to close in on the woman who just disappeared inside the building, a leap up from the outside of the railing and hes hauling himself over to the same floor shes on and through that dark portal in to an old musty building.

"Seriously… we're not fucking cops or superheroes or vigilantes… we're here for business." Taskaster's voice sounds electronic distorted. A hand lifts up and fingers depress to his mask, star-light amplification illuminates the room with ambient lighting, good enough for here to see plain as day. "I'm Taskmaster, perhaps you have heard of me?" Maybe, if she has access to the Unternet and criminal underworld. He is a hitman and the worlds most expensive combat instructor. A mercenary who usually fights 'heroes' and can often win.


Sadly for Catwoman the large burnt out building was in such terrible shape that she decided to hide, rather than risk navigating it. She was a rather adept hider afterall…

So when Taskmaster started talking, she was no where to be seen… but she was listening.

The old burnt up building stunk like smoke and mold… there were the sounds of scurrying on the floor like mice or rats were running away from all the noise.

"What do you want?" A female's voice said, sultry and soft, it came from a random direction that would take a moment to realize 'upward'.

Catwoman was inside of the ceiling, the old tile-ceiling had most of its tiles gone, turned to ash or fallen to the floor. She was purched inside of what remained, bathed in shadows, mostly only her exposed chin and jawline could be seen, even her eyes were hiding inside her goggles yet-still.


Taskmasters companion is hopefully making sure Catwoman doesn't spring out another window and waiting. He stops moving, standing completely still and extending his hands up so the palms are seen. "A beer? Kidding. I'm on a job for a very interested party. You just killed a man, its on camera, you realize that right?" Maybe not the camera, he could be bluffing but there is Eyespys usually following the Suicide Squad when they're on any task for Amanda Waller, those Eyespys are small flying drones equipped with surveillance.
Outside Rose will actually see two of them floating around. The other thing they do is disrupt outside signals. Allows for some bit of 'privacy'.

"Thats not good for you but my employer is the type who can make sure that doesn't stick to you Catwoman. You are her, right? Your moves are exquisite. Tight. Like Daredevil."


Through Taskmaster talking to her, Catwoman remained partially obscured by the burnt-out ceiling, using its metal scaffolding to keep herself up there, her boots planted apart between the spaces where tiles used to be.

"Men die all the time." She said. "I tried saving him from an impending car crash… They couldn't hit the brakes because you were behind them, the fault is on you."

Catwoman was breathing a little heavy, she'd done a lot to get up here and in here and she was moving up and down a little like she was considering bolting, keeping her muscles ready to run at any moment.

"Who is your employer?" She asked him then, not answering his question about whether or not she is who he thinks she is… The mask/helmet she had on would either confirm she's Catwoman, or a damn good imposter, but that mask was also covered in shadows, making its finer details hard to see without a light or nightvision.


"That is one way to paint it. I mean, it's not like he wasn't being drug down the street like he just stole a herd of cattle in pre-civilized Wild West, Gotham is all about its old school laws, right? Not that they would find any of his bits or pieces on my car or me or an actual owner. I'm a ghost."
"My employer will introduce themselves when time is right, they are definitely the kind of person you want on your side though. I would say trust me but thats clearly an issue." Taskmaster doesn't look like he has seen her yet, hes just talking to the room and walking in a slow prowl of a circle. "GCPD going to show on this one? I am only asking because you're the local. Not me. I work in the big times not… shit heel, grunge city." Taskmaster really dislikes Gotham.


There came an explosion outside, down the street in the direction that they'd come from, it shook the building that they were inside of right now causing lines of old dust / dirt and ash to pour down here and there inside of the burnt out office space.

"GCPD is a given." Catwoman replied to the man in a quiet, quickly spoken, voice. She was staying where she was, clutching the metal of the old broken ceiling with her gloved hands and her feet parted to empty tile spaces, just looking down from the shadows.

"I don't want an employer." She said, softly. "I'm not interested. You can leave now."


"I thought the same thing…" Ravager states from behind Catwoman, somewhere in the shadows and rafters herself. The only tell is the single glowing eye, a prosthetic replaced by bionic, newly refurbished by Waller and the DEO, casting an eerie and ghostly glow of bouyant glow along a rafter.

"Trust me. When the call comes in, you do not want to swipe towards the red. The green gets you far more."

Many flashes come to light, the eye first, the guns second, the blade along upper thigh - third. But that is far more expansive then the rest. "You strike me like a kindred spirit. You want to fly high with no net…. You still can. But when you need a net… Our emplyer is just. the. ticket."


"It's not a fulltime gig, thats one of the perks if you're worried." The explosion doesn't seem bother him or a cause him any alarm, Rose wasn't outside she'd somehow found her way in as well. Good. Taskmaster is still doing his lazy pace, "Just not sure how lazy they are or if this was a clean grab, that can be done away with too you know, minor infraction, just some traffic bullshit. Thats the kind of employer I have… " The drones are small, roundthings with lenses on them, one actually hovers outside that broken in window now.
The boss lady is listening in.

A vibration from Taskmaster's wrist strap has him opening it up and reading the message, he speaks outloud, "I can't exactly just leave now. She just gave orders you're to come with us or we take you down and leave you to the police. Which, honestly, she wants you enough either one of those directions is going to lead you to her."
"Hard or easy, lady. Whats your style?"


Catwoman's ruby colored lenses looked up and across the space between herself and where Ravager was… she eyed the other in the darkness, listened to what she had to say… then averted her gaze back down to Taskmaster.

"Who is your employer?" She suddenly chimed in then, starting to walk like a spider across the old metal scaffolding that wasn't entirely supportive of an adult human's weight… but thankfully she was on the lighter side, as far as the average person went.

"I like both." She replied then to his final question, her voice laced with a concealed vindictive annoyance as she crawled around to keep Ravager from getting so easily behind her.


"You and me both, sister." A smile can be heard from Ravager's tone, bt when Ctwoman asked about who there is a silence and then some laughter.

"The options are already laid out by our employer, and they will lay out more after this one…" They, no he/she difinitive made. "Trust me, it is an offer you do not want to pass up. Comes with plenty of 'nip' and backup." A play on words but none the less Ravager is trying to make this go smooth, go easy, and appease the 'Satan'.


"Both. I expected that." Taskmaster declares and is looking up now. No more circling like a shark but he can't exactly see through the ceiling, just guestimate where they are. "It's like Fight Club, certain things we're not allowed to talk about not until you drink the juice."

"The cops are going to be here soon. So, I'll put this polite like, its rare that we actually get sent to just ASK someone to join us. Usually that means something about you is required. Its the soft route. I could stand around threatening you all day but I mean, where is the fun in that?" A gun is in his hand now, it extends and he points firing up through the ceiling, a round going past Catwoman. "Oh, I guess my safety isn't off. Where was I? Right, asking and then forcing. Its cool to be asked, something, blahblah, other option is fucking you up. Letting you go through the legal system, more shit gets tacked on to you, mugshots are always so sexy then you spend a few nights in Black Gate or Arkham if you're fucking nuts… then well, then you meet our employer. All bruised, battered, rolled, maybe more, I dunno how handsy cops and prisons are here. Never been."

"Or, you come with us, we go meet the boss, you don't have to go through all the gritty. I'm on a time table here. Cmon lady."
Taskmaster is taking aim again through the ceiling. Just guess shooting.


Catwoman's covered eyes regard Ravager again in the darkness ahead of her, they werea bout fifteen feet apart from one another. She just stares at the other in the shadows before she can hear Taskmaster start speaking again and when he fires the gun the bullet zips past between she and Ravager.

This is what draws Catwoman's eyes back down to him and she listens to the remainder of his words… Nearly silently, she drops down between the metal scaffolding and lands on the ground behind him, about 7 feet away from him… crouched very low with her knees apart and bent, keeping her low with both hands on the floor.

Catwoman eyes the man with the gun. "I'll come… out of curiosity… One condition." She says to him then. "No cat jokes."

And with that, Selina rises up to her feet and she starts to walk toward the window she'd busted through originally, a sway in her hips as she stepped along… assuming that they would follow her back out to the alley where their rides were left.


One second there, the next gone.

Ravager is there, the faint glow of bionic eye veiled by black strands of her 'hat', but the posture and poise had shifted as Catwoman descended, and when she comes to peer down…
"Fuck YOU!"
*Hop-skip… DODGE bullet!*

"I am 'ARRRGHGH!!' Pirate. He is Skeletor, Death, or Ihateyourface (so its masked)… Just wait til you meet the rest." Let's not mention Satan right now in name.

"Cat jokes… are going to happen."

And for firing blindly and almost ruining her heeled walk across a beam? Her cigarette is going to get dropped on the seat of his car.


"No cat jokes. Right. Maybe you are a smart cookie after all." The skull is permanently set in a grin so he cannot exactly NOT as Ravager curses at him for the shooting. A shrug, "Just making a point. You lived." He follows Catwoman through the window, to the catwalk and nods to the Eyespy. The little drone's ocular piece twists, a beeping light directs itself at Catwoman then it ascends in to the sky.

Elsewhere… Belle Reve.

A man with glasses looks over his shoulder at Amanda Waller, "I think thats the go ahead?"
"It is. Whatever she did today make it disappear. Keep the important stuff for our eyes only… in case."
The man nods, turning back to the monitor, while his visual are the Eyespies he pulls up local GCPD police bans and starts to reroute service calls, making sure the car chase is declared as something else, a gang disturbance. Minor infractions that won't draw attention to Catwoman. The explosion? Unrelated. That was a pipe bomb that kids with an Anarchist Cookbook put together.
It is Amanda Waller's job to make her 'assets' stay clean and shiny enough they can maintain proper use.

East End… "My car. We'll take it, be a short drive just to where we can talk. No smoking." He warns before standing up on that rail, grinning at Catwoman her earlier leap off the motorcycle, he mimics it completely, it looks like her if she was a big armor clad skull faced man and he does it from higher up, just not a moving cycle like she did.
Landing below with a grunt he ramains their in a crouch before getting in to the driver's seat.


Catwoman would silently drop to the floor of the alleyway and she'd watch as Taskmaster did a fancy dive and flip and all and it just made her smirk. She looked up then to wait for Ravager and would say to her. "He aimed that gun shot at you." She said. "I could see it in the way he held is arm. It would seem your boyfriend has some grudge, perhaps." She was just teasing though.

Before yielding to the orders of using his car, she went to her motorcycle and picked it up, then coiled her whip up, while walking to the deceased man's corpse. She knealt then to grab the whip's grip from his limp dead arm and then she reached around to the small of her back where she cliped the whip to her black leather backpack.

It was here that Selina started to walk toward the two's car. "Ready to go." She quietly said then, preparing to enter it into the back seat, not wanting to sit up front.


Rose does no such fanciness, she is descending with an ease allowed by heeled walk, and when it comes to a drop of any sort it is taken like a gymnast that has undergone a livetime of straining. Landing on toes and off the 'support' of stilettos. Dealing only in the assurance of her own form.

"I call Bitch." Shotgun. Whatever. catwoman may have intent for the back anyway, but Rose is not Miss Daisy in this outfit and refuses to settle there. His front seat is needing burnt afterall!

"He should have a grudge, it's what keeps the *sparks* alive." No mention on the fact that he is -not- her boyfriend, but Cats will find out all of it in time. They're a fucked up Brady Bunch of Epic proportions….

"Oh… bother… burnt my laceybits…

And the seat.


"Welcome to the Squad…" Give it time, the dialogue may have a lilt to it! (And a tattoo).
"I'm no ones boyfriend." Taskmaster cuts in while seating himself in the driver's seat. "We are co-workers." The car growls to life again and backs out of the alleyway, slow rolling past the mess that earlier Selina created.

"We have coordinates for lift off. I hope you don't have any plans." The man says while looking in the rear view mirror, his eyes behind the lenses of the skullmask not visible. She just 'knows' he is looking at her. Which suddenly a ripple or digitized wash over him and he looks like that middle-aged pudgy disguise from earlier. Less likely to be pulled over this way.

"Probably sending Sheba." A guess. Usually accurate about many things. Taskmaster likes to be right.

"Whats your deal, Catwoman? Where you a Bond Girl that decided she just really liked cats and stepped out of the spy game? Sean Connery slap you too hard one night?"
They are headed towards one of the bridges that leads north, out of town. He's just taking the Bowery exit.


Selina was seated behind Rose, she watched the woman light-up a cigarette and then struggle to not set herself on fire with it apparently. When Taskmaster asked his question back at her, she just glanced out the car window after looking at him and watching his 'guise' take form overtop of his other persona.

"Its just a symbol." Catwoman said back then, her outfit, now more visible than ever, was a mixture between euro-fiber mesh and what looked like kevlar over her torso and the majority of her masked helmet, even the cat ears looked as though they could be kevlar as well.

"I started out with a ski mask and some black sweats. But I got hurt too much, using that approach." She glanced back at the front of the car. "After people started talking about my jobs… they made the name up for me, put it in the newspapers. So when I started redesigning my gear, I just… adapted it."

Catwoman glanced down at herself and she reached up to dust her chest off, ash and dirty coating her dark purple kevlar vest.


"Damn. I was hoping for some rabid radioactive cat story. You with like 15 fuzzy green-eyed shits just mauling you while you're screaming monologue to the heavens." A chuckle from the man, Taskmaster's car suddenly pulls to a ramp and they're on the bridge crossing over the north Gotham river, headed out of town.

"We all got our thing." It's true, skulls, cats, missing eyes. Daddy issues. Kleptomania. Greed. "We'll stop for drinks before we head out to the airport." Airport? Yep. Private one a ways out. They'll head there to get on board the Sheba then go meet the Boss.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 License