Pokemon and Innuendo

July 31, 2016:

Doug, Darcy and Kitty are out playing Pokemon Go and meet up over the lake in Central Park. Literally.

Central Park


NPCs: None.



Mood Music: None.

Fade In…

The worst thing about hunting these damned pokemon buggers were the times the Pokemons were dangling out there… and you couldn't -get- to them because so many pesky things were in the way.

Central Park, for example, had a large number of excellent spawns. Gyms were not a problem for locating anything. It was the pokemons that were dangling out there, hovering JUST beyond reach, being kept back by barriers.

"Ok, Kitty, look alive, I got your phone, you got me. Just try to not lose concentration, okay?" Doug Ramsey replies, taking a deep breath, and holding on to Kitty Pryde. "Now a few more steps…"

It was handy having a -phaser- like this. Mostly because they could seemingly -walk- on water to get to that damned Magikarp. And this was -much- easier than renting, say, a boat.

Right by one of the lakes in Central Park, Kitty smirks as she looks at Doug and then her phone screen. "You better not waste my Pokeballs, Doug Ramsey," she warns the hacker at her side. They're on one of the docks that stretches out into the lake and she wraps an arm around him.

Then, she steps off the dock and over the water. Most people would fall right through the surface and get themselves very wet. Kitty and Doug? They float. There's a bit of a laugh as the good Jewish girl starts walking on water. This really tickles her fancy. "Okay, let me know when we're close enough."

A day off. It was nice. REally was. Darcy wetn for a walk, to collect more pokemon, hit a few stops, see if there was a gym she could train at. When a magikarp popped up nearby, Darcy walked about the lake trying to get it in range. She spotted the dock before she spotted the pair of karp-hunters. She moved to teh very corner of the dock, leaning out over the rail to try to get it in range… when she spotted Doug and Kitty out of the corner of her eyes.

"Oh, man. That's just not fair," she quips, grinning faintly.

Of course it would tickle her fancy; Kitty probably got a kick out of walking on water for many reasons. Now if she could catch fishes…

"I'm not gonna waste your pokeballs! Especially since we're doing this the -honest- way. You haven't hacked anything yet have you…?" Doug responds, as he steadies himself, waiting till Kitty has a firm hold of his shoulder before holding out both phones, trying to tap using solely his thumbs.

Don't get distracted. Don't…

"Shhhh!" Doug goes at the quipper, whoever that was, not even looking. C'mon, where were… "Kitty, what did you -do- with your Ivysaur?!"

As they float out over the water, Kitty snorts. "Of course I haven't hacked anything! That's cheating." She seems almost offended that he would suggest that, but she's smirking as she does. It's clear she's teasing. "Okay, I amend my threat. If you drop my phone in the water, I'll drop you in to go get it."

Glancing over her shoulder, she grins at Darcy as she quips. "I'll grab you next if you want," she offers. Right now she doesn't want to jostle Doug and risk her phone dropping into the lake. "What do you mean what did I do with it? You didn't name yours Angry Salad Thing?"

Watching the pair, Darcy folds her arms over the railing. "Sure!" she agrees readily, chuckling at their banter. No one else at work plays, that she knows of. So, having a few poke-friends sounds like great fun. "To go with your Onion Turtle?"

"Of -course- not. I wouldn't name mine anything so dumb," Doug responds, tapping away with both thumbs. "Your Angry Salad Thing is just taking -longer- to beat this magikarp than my Man-Thing."

Taptaptap… "GOT MINE!" And for Kitty… "… … … do I use another pokeball, Kitty?"

Glancing sideways at Darcy, Doug adds, "Ok hold on, I'll get your phone. Whatever you do… don't give it to Kitty."

"You're just jealous you can't name things very well. It's okay, I'll start naming some things for you. And you just aren't playing him right." With a shake of her head, she glances over at the phone. There's a sigh. "Finnne, use another Pokeball. I didn't get out over this lake for nothing."

While Kitty might otherwise snort, she nods. "I'll be careful. It's only if I phase through your phone. Which I won't do. But, yeah, it's safest if you just hand it to Doug. Wait, let me move back a little bit so you can hand it off properly. Once Doug gets my Magikarp."

"Sounds good to me," Darcy says, watching the Pokemon catching. She leans comfortably on the railing, her knit hat on her head and her hair loose and unruly, spilling over her shoulder.

And another pokeball goes into the wild, to go repeat the process. Tucking his phone into a pocket very, very carefully to make sure it remains in contact with something of his the -whole- time (born of multiple trial and errors about releasing something in his hand too soon where phasing was involved), Doug uses both hands. "Meanwhile you can name this magikarp 'Puckerfish' right?" he remarks, tapping. "Oh, there we go…! Okay, now to get on shore and… wait, doesn't her phone have to already be in contact before you phase…? DON'T HAND IT OVER YET!"

"Psh! See, no imagination. I'm naming this one Fishey Face." Kitty grins. She is sure to be careful to make sure that Doug is not jostled and the phones remain firmly in his hand. "No, it should be fine! It only freaks out, really, if I phase myself through it." But, she sighs and moves them closer to the dock. They lift up slightly as they go to put them back on level with Darcy. "Though, really, better safe than sorry. I don't want to be the cause of your phone spazzing out." She releases Doug and puts them back onto the dock safely.

"Fishey Face is not a name," Doug rejoins. "It sounds like someone going "Feeshy Feeshy feesh your face."

Taking a deep breath, as they get back on ground, Doug turns over Kitty's phone. "Ok, there."

His attention shifts back to Darcy. "Doug Ramsey. This is Kitty Pryde."

"Fishy Face is totally a name. It's this Magikarp's name. So there." Kitty sticks her tongue out at Doug and then grins at Darcy. "Nice to meet a fellow Pokemon Goer," she grins. She holds her hand out to shake. Taking her other hand, pulls her phone from Doug and slips it into her pocket. "Okay, ready for a walk out onto a lake to grab a Pokemon?" She keeps her hand out. "Whatever you do, don't thrash and don't let go of me or you'll go right into the water."

"Darcy Lewis. Or Darcy. Or Darce. Or Sass. Or Hey You with the Tits. Or just Hey You," she introduces herself with a warm handshake and a friendly smile. When Kitty offers to take her out to walk on water, Darcy's eyes light up.

"Really? Like, for real reals?" Beat. "Totally." Darcy takes Kitty's hand ready not to thrash nor let go. She can totally poke-catch one handed. "this is SO cool!"

Kitty would probably be quite familiar with this usual pattern: Doug Ramsey focuses on one thing, doesn't really -notice- until attention is drawn to it.

So somewhere as it sinks in that 'hey you with the tits' refers to -her- physical attributes, Doug's gaze immediately snaps back -up- where it's supposed to be. "Ah, uh, yeah, nice to meet you, too. Don't mind me, I'll just stand over here and watch you do… that."

Kitty looks at Doug and then rolls her eyes at his reaction. He's one of her closest friends, she certainly knows his mannerisms. "Doug," she snorts and then shakes her head, giving Darcy a bit of a look that shows that she sort of apologizes for Doug's ogling. "Come on, Darcy." Then, she starts walking off over the lake. Much like as happened with Doug before, they float a bit and then they're out over the water. "Alright! Go for it."

Darcy chuckles at Doug's awkward refocusing, reaching out to pat Doug on the shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, Doug. You're welcome to oogle. Just, if you want to touch, please ask first. I don't want to have reflex take over and us both end up bruised," Darcy 'comforts', as she steps out with Kitty. The idea of walking on water has her giggling.

"I'm having a Jesus-moment, I swear to… Jesus…. Right! OHMYFishface… get in mah balls!"

"Uh… I think I'll wait on touching, thank you," Doug responds awkwardly. Rubbing his cheeks with both hands, and making a fish-face at Kitty in the process, Doug takes a deep breath. "Let's just stick to Pokemon-catching for now, okay? I'll try to not abuse the ogling privileges."

Leaning on the rail, Doug palms his face. "Can you try not to sound like you're having a screaming orgasm?"

"Doug," Kitty replies with a very specific tone. "I think you need to stop talking now." There's a soft laugh and she leans over toward Darcy. She doesn't lower her voice at all, but she says, "He's really a good guy, just he has no idea how to talk to women." Then, with a shake of her head and a very amused look, she adds, "This Jesus moment brought to you by a Jewish woman. Let me know when you've got him, we'll head back to the dock."

"You don't have to stop talking ever, Doug," Darcy calls out as she leans into Kitty. Following suit, she grins at Kitty. "My favorite kind."

"OH! ah. Gunna- ah! AH!" Darcy over does the vocals on catching the magikarp, grinning. "I got him," she says calmly to Kitty as she tucks her phone into a pocket. "Thanks. You popped my water-type cherry. How can I ever repay you!?"

"Hey, I'm a -linguist-, Kitty. I can talk to women!" Doug protests. Although, as Kitty only knows too well, the main problem might have less to do with being able to talk to women and much, much more to do with hormones being distracting. Like the inability to talk to faces instead of to chests.


Still, as this Jesus moment is delivered, Doug can't help but shake his head. "And you've got fishes. Now all we need are loaves, and we can christen you the new Messiah, o Pryde of Deerfield, Illinois."

"… also, you know, she talks innenudo. A lot of it. I'm trying to not speak it or you'll punch me."

"Suuuure you can," Kitty calls over her shoulder with a smirk toward Doug. She certainly knows him well enough that he can certainly talk, but has problems with execution. And his hormones. "I have a feeling challah isn't what Jesus was talking about with loaves. Even if he was Jewish." There's a laugh and then she turns around, pulling Darcy with her. "Congrats! I'm glad this worked out." They move forward toward the dock and Kitty puts her back down. "You're welcome. Making Doug this uncomfortable was definitely worth it."

"Totes. I'll give you my number, and next time you want a repeat, let me know," Darcy offers. Regaining her own feet, she peers down at them, stomping a few times, before grinning and checking her phone and then smiling at the pair.

"That…? Fucking Amazeball."

"Pokeballs," Doug smirks. "Although chances are we can't take you onto some of those restricted-access places. You should've seen the time we almost walked into a jail. Which, by the way, was totally not my fault. Or that hotel room that was being used."

"You're the one that keeps egging me on, Doug," Kitty tells him with a snort. "I always get us back out of it." Being intangible can be quite handy. "It's at least half your fault." Taking her phone out of her pocket, she holds it to get Darcy's number. "Sounds like a plan. I'm always up for more Poke-Friends."

"Poke-your-balls," Darcy quips at Doug, winking lightly. She grins as the two keep bantering. She offers her phoen to Kitty as an exchange. It takes her a few moments to get used to the interface, and then she's keying in her phone number and taking a silly-face selfie for the contact icon. Phone held out in return, Darcy holds her hand out for Doug's.

"I love people who egg on other people. These are the best kinds of people. But let me school you: Gimme your phone as you ask fo rmy number. Also, say please." She winks at Kitty.

"Maybe later," Doug responds, holding out his phone, smile crossing his face. "And since Kitty's not doing it, I'll do it… may I have your phone number, Ms. You?"

Taking Darcy's in turn, Doug does the simple straight-up thing of giving his phone number, along with his name, and under the nickname, just going with "Dougie".

"Best place we ever found in New York, by the way, is that Ninja restaurant. Lots of hidden things here and there. And the pokemon's not bad either."

"Oh baby. I love it when you talk dirty-nerdy to me," Darcy retorts as she keys in her number, pulls down her shirt a bit, and then takes the selfie from a higher angle. Her nickname is 'Tits'. She returns the phone and collects hers to look at the new contact.

"Ninja restaurant? What's it serve?" she asks. She skipped dinner to get out here. "Hidden?"

As Kitty watches Doug and Darcy talk, she grins. Taking the phone from Doug and putting her own number in. She puts in her name as Kitty Jesus Pokemon Girl. Just in case Darcy forgets who she might be when looking at her phone later. Then,s he hands the phone back. "Ninja's fantastic." She has had her own dealings with ninjas and she generally prefers the waiter kind. "It serves good food and is served by ninjas. There's a magician that comes by at the end. It's pretty fantastic. I'm sure Doug will take you some time. You and I will go find some rare Pokemon. It was nice to meet you Darcy!"

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