Bad Dating Advice

May 08, 2016:

Cindy wants to date Fairchild. So she texts Carol for advice. This cannot go well. So it doesn't.

Some rooftop - NYC


NPCs: None.

Mentions: Caitlin Fairchild


Mood Music: None.

Fade In…

It really /was/ that bad. The text message that is, and it's not like Cindy wrote and deleted it six times over. Hah! Nope. She only re-wrote it /five/ times. Really, it isn't her fault. Yet, she finally gets something out! Which reads:

'Hey Carol! It's Cindy, Caitlin's friend, we met awhile ago and I was wondering if it wasn't possible if we could get together for something, only if you have the time though. Thanks!'

Cindy only dithered for an hour on whether she should have the exclamation points, it didn't make her look /too/ dorky to her possible-girlfriend's mentor and aspiration. Right?


The text message arrives. And Carol stares at it. Cindy? She racks her brain for a bit, but the mention of Caitlin does it. Right, Caitlin's little spider friend. Dark hair and eyes, slightly dusky complexion, spider powers. Some cute little spidery name. Carol frowns. Her brain is so swiss-cheeesed it is no surprise at all that she can't pull out the name; she's just happy to have put a face to the name and a hint of the memory of the counter.

But Carol is not exactly a texting maven. And she's a busy, busy woman. Still, about half an hour later, a message dings back. "Not sur what you need. But I'm flying past NYC in 15 minutes. Find a rooftop, I'll do one sweep looking for you before I continue on to Delaware."

Cindy Moon rolls out of bed, yep- she was in bed. Look, after the first ten minutes of radio silence she had already given up on the chase. Her exposure to the texting game wasn't exactly nuanced, being a young woman who knew other young woman? Cindy has only lived in a texting world in which not responding within 15 minutes is an act of act of unforgivable sacrilege. But none the less, the poor Spiderling has hustled herself to the roof of her apartment building. Thankfully, she's pretty conspicuous in her skin tight body suit, her head tilted back up to the sky as she runs her fingers through her hair to try to work out several knots.

It shouldn't be too hard for Carol to spot her, how many weirdos are there standing up on the roofs in New York?


Bah. Hard to find? Please! Carol overflies the city, doing a circuit burough by burough, until she spots one particular costumed weirdo on the rooftop. And then the golden-glowing feminine figure in blue, red and gold lands and stops glowing quite so much. "Spiderling? Spider-Girl? Spider-Chica? Sorry. I'm blanking on the codename. Totally my bad." Crushing, right? But at least Carol is honest. "You wanted to see me? What's up?"

Cindy Moon puts a hand in front of her face, cringing just a tiny bit as the pearlescent woman lands before her. Cindy opens her mouth to say something, the red scarf sitting in a bundle around her neck and the girl clearly lacking any sort of makeup at the moment. But, well, Carol has to slaughter her codename first! Which is great, at least she isn't called 'the amazing spinning jenny' again. "Silk." She adds quickly, tilting her head to the right. She's more than a little cowed at the moment, and the reason /why/ she called Carol here just makes things that much worse. "So! Uhm…" How to start this… "It's about Cait." She hums, licking her lips as she glances away. Alright, here comes the blushing and that angst filled pit in her stomach.

Here we go.

Carol watches the girl respond with obvious curiosity. What's going on here? She's not at all sure. But she waits, patiently. "Silk? OK. Right. Sorry." She has some idea how humiliating it must feel for her not to remember it correctly. But she just can't help that.

"Well, given she's who we have in common, I guessed that was probably true." Carol responds, nodding. "So. What's up? What's going on and what do you need?" Straight to the point. It's almost as if Carol is not even a woman, the way she ignores and cleaves right through social niceties and emotional context.

Cindy Moon is far more humiliated in regards to what she is trying to regurgitate at the moment, this was one of those cases where she had totally rehearsed everything she was going to say and then it all just flew right out the window in an instant. "Well- Ah…" She starts, trying to figure out how to tip toe around this before Carol brushes aside all the pleasentries. Which, belive it or not, makes Cindy all the more awkward (Surprise). The poor girl will fidget some on the spot, looking entirely out of character as the color flushes brighter on her cheeks.

"Ahhh… I'm taking Cait on a date." She mumbles, barely audible, even that word sounded odd in her mouth.

Carol just stands there, impassively. She takes that in without a twitch of expression or a word. She just stands there.


And waiting.

And waiting.

Finally, Carol tilts her head just slightly, eyeing Cindy. "OK. So? I realize she doesn't — " Carol stops herself, as something ticks over in her brain. Right. Not supposed to talk about Caitlin's mysterious past with other people. If this girl doesn't know, Carol shouldn't bring it up. So … rewording. "I'm not her parent. Or guardian. And I don't have a car for you to borrow. So why am I here? What does this have to do with me?"

Cindy Moon cannot help but cringe, putting her hands up deffensively a bit as Carol really cuts to the chase. See, Cindy can swing, so she'll deal! She also kind of just learned about Uber, which is /so/ much easier than trying to borrow the parent's car. "We- It's just! You obviously know her." She starts, trying to defend herself a bit as the anxiety crashes over like wave. For once, things are just as bad as she's made them out to be! "And… She thinks very highly of you." She adds, eyes downcasting as she plays with her fingers. "You're important to her and I just… I wanted to know if there was anything I could do to make sure things go right with her tomorrow night…"

Yep, she called Carol here for dating advice.

Carol eyes Cindy just as incisively as before. Maybe moreso. She weighs the young woman's question, and stays quiet for a painfully awkward period of time. And then, finally, at least, she speaks.

But this is so not what Cindy wants.

"You … want dating advice … from me?" Carol seems poleaxed, given her tone of voice. "Kid. Please. Don't make that mistake. No one with two braincells to rub together wants dating advice from me. Hell, Caitlin practically worships the air I float on, and SHE doesn't want dating advice from me."

Brutal honesty, thy name is Carol Susan Jane Danvers. "Listen, Cindy. If you want to date her, I have to assume you know her. You know what makes her special. What makes her someone you /want/ to date." Because if it's Caitlin's measurements, this is doomed to failure, and Carol is not going to salvage it. No way, no how. "So. You plan based on what you know about her. And what is special between the two of you. That's it, kid."

Cindy Moon twitches, yep- that certainly /was/ not what she wanted to hear! Poor Cindy flinches like she's been hit, biting a lip and coughing a little bit as she tightens her grip on her hands. "Well, I mean… It wasn't just dating advice…" She begins to trail off, realizing just how dumb she sounded right now as the awkwardness between the two somehow finds a way to become all the worse. Maybe. Probably. Should have talked to Cait about this first. Mostly because she doesn't realize the scathing truthiness that was hanging over her head.

All of her protests are cut short with that last comment, Cindy coughing a little bit as she diverts her eyes and does just about everything in her power to avoid glancing back at Carol. Yep. She's been beat! And this was not a great introduction for the little spiderling. "Right." She's able to offer in afirmation, of course she /knew/ all that, but it was so much easier said than done. "I uh… I guess, I did just want to say…" She's trying to will something up once more. "I guess I wanted to promise I won't hurt her?"

Uh oh. Big words. Small spider.

Cindy Moon also, clearly, has no right to say something /that/ dumb.

Carol eyes the girl a bit longer, waiting, and then nods jerkily. "Well. I hate to say this. I don't do soft and fluffy, and that sucks. I'm sorry." Brutality in her honesty.

"Dating is intimacy, kid. That kind of crap hurts. Maybe only a little. Maybe a lot. Maybe it crushes your soul. But it's never without danger, or pain."

Ouch. But Carol cracks a grin. "I appreciate, though, that it's not at all what you want to see happen. That, at least, is the right edge to the attitude."

Cindy Moon is far from a heart breaker! Really, she's about the furthest one can get. It comes with having been locked in a bunker for eight years, one gets a little clingy with that level of isolation. "I… Get what you mean though." She offers, trying to reconcile the icy air just a tiny bit. Her first genuine love had already run off and got married at this point, so she can't help but bite her lip some and grin and bear it. "I'm noting if not attitude?" She asks, flashing the dopiest grin.

You know, to reassure herself.

Carol just shrugs one shoulder. Only one. "We all try attitude. But it's not real. Not really." The blonde is cool. This is her truth. No ire. No upset. Just laying it out there. "But we all do it. We can't help ourselves."

Cindy Moon stares for a moment, not exactly sure how to return that comment as suffocating silence settles in around the two. "… So…" Cindy finally breaks the ice, her head turning as she glances around. Don't say anything about the weather. Don't say anything about the weather. Don't say anything about the wea- "Nice weather huh?" She asks, goddamn small talk!

"I- Er, I mean, ergh… I Should probably introduce myself better than 'hi I'm dating the sasquatch'"

"You're Cindy. Or Silk. Either works." Carol offers. Then she steps forward, extending her gloved hand. "Carol Susan Jane Danvers, Lieutenant Colonel, US Air Force, Retired. Good to meet you." She leaves off all the things like being an ex-SpecOps operator, a secret agent, a special agent, and a space pirate.

Cindy Moon would have really, really liked to hear the space pirate story, boo. "Yeah! Silk works, makes me sound a *little* more professional." She remarks, trying to come out of her shell somewhat as she rolls her wrist. And then she's clicking her tongue, letting her hands rest on her hips as she rolls her eyes upwards. "Huh, my dad was Airforce…" She says as an aside, taking Carol's hand and giving it a firm shake. "Are you *sure* you're not hiding any cooler titles in there?"

"Captain Marvel. Warbird. Binary. Ms. Marvel. Cheeseburger. Princess Sparklefists. I've got a passel of them." Carol answers, honestly. Hey, what does she care? It's all true, so why hide it? "Anyway. I've given you the best advice I can. The rest is up to you, and Caitlin. I'd wish you luck, but I'm sure you've already guessed whose side I'm on. So I'm wishing her luck." Which is the same thing. But not. "Anything else you need?"

Cindy Moon blinks slowly, pulling her hand back and once more letting that wash over her. "Well, I've been called spider girl… And… Spidergirl…" She remarks bashfully, rubbing the back of her neck. "I'm also an Avenger!" She adds, trying to force out a chuckle. See that? Levity! It's important! Especially in the face of what Cindy had pretty much built up as Caitlin's terrifying dad. You know, the type that would be cleaning his gun when Cait's date comes to pick her up for prom.

"I… Thanks?" Cindy asks at the encouragement.

Yeah, terrifying dad confirmed.

Carol salutes slightly. "Take care." And with that, the glow returns, flowing around her, and she lifts off the roof, disappearing into the night.

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