Casser les Oreilles

April 06, 2016:

Creole Mutt and Faux French? Nothing worse than being ambushed in the woods by horrible accents. Poor Beast and Mercury ended up along for the ride and it's indicated that Charles life is in imminent danger.


NPCs: None.

Mentions: Professor X, Graydon Creed


Mood Music: [*\# None.]

Fade In…

Only an hours drive north of Manhattan, the megalopolis bleeds in to a horizon filled landscape of rolling hills, farmlands, lake and forest. It is these forests that Remy is trekking through on his proposed idea to get out and go on a hike, a break away from Xavier's grounds and of course the craze that is humanity vs the unexplained!

Maybe the Cajun is just using it as an excuse to smoke an entire pack as well because he is a chimney. Try and keep track of just how many cigarettes he has gone through since they begin their little nature adventure.

It's Beast, Cessily and a few students old enough to be off grounds and eager enough to go see some actual nature also those same few who were left behind on spring break. Not able to go home to family or lacking them.
It is not exactly warm out right now and there is a light drizzle of rain accompanied with chill winds. The outing itself has been a stomp through mud, muck and wilderness. The complaining is hitting a point of yield for Remy as he listens to the School's youths whine, belly ache and ask when they're returning.
"Okay, I suppose we been out long enough. We can go on home now… "

Cessily Kincaid has been trying not to complain. After all, she's supposed to be on the long term track into XMen Gold and all that good stuff. So complaining about some hike isn't good for that. So she 'suffers' in silence. Though, to be fair, the elements don't affect her quite the same way as they do the fleshies, so she has a leg up in that. "I'd really hate to get by lightning…" she says aloud as she considers the benefits to returning back.

Beast isn't usually the first one someone thinks of when going out for a hike, but this -is- Remy. He actually agreed, seeing as he's been cooped up inside (and inside school grounds) for far too long and being out in nature could help his mood in general. That, and he didn't want Remy alone with all of those students. He's taken off his shoes for better purchase in the bracken and mud and he doesn't seem to care that it's damp. Now, others might care on the trip back but he was invited along!
Glancing over at Cessily's comment, he smirks, "It's not storming and the likelihood of us getting hit by lightning amidst all of these much taller targets is extremely slim." He grins over at Remy, "Don't let them pressure you! Stay strong!!" But they do still have to tromp back eventually.

And in the middle of nowhere there is a man in a white coat wearing a white mask. Or maybe it is not in the middle of nowhere. There seems to be a clearing and a cottage. Which is still in the middle of nowhere. And really, it is odd no one noticed him before because well, he has white clothes in the middle of a forest. "Bonjour," he greets. "Monsieur LeBeau, I suppose? And… friends," he half bows to the others.

Looking upwards out from under the drawn up hoodie Remy studies the sky, "Beast right, no lightning. You gonna be okay, p'tite."

"Hey look a frog!" One kid exclaims. Remy recalls his name as Carl. "I'm keeping it."

emy takes another drag from the cig captured between fingers, foreign voice interrupts what he was about to say Beast. The cigarette instead changes color the entire length of it starting to glow a charged purple.

"Hey, Simon you get Carl and the other three on back towards de path an' head home." No mention of where home is.

"Uh… " Simon stammers while looking from Remy to Beast as if asking permission, "What about Cess?"

"She stays. Jus' go, mon ami."

"Bonjour… I be the one and only Remy LeBeau. Who are you?" Not so friendly in tone. He's got a protective nature to him after all and the guy in white has just 'appeared'. Costumes and sudden arrivals usually spells bad for the X-Men.

Cessily Kincaid smiles faintly, looking over to Hank, then to Remy, and nods. "Well, um…" she says, looking away. "You're probably right. I was just thinking that maybe, because of, you know, I'm more of a lightning rod…" Then she goes quiet a bit, focused on making her way in the natural terrain, in her suit and boots, so she doesn't have to worry about getting anything dirty, like if she'd worn regular school clothes.

"If you want to keep the frog, then we'll make sure to build it a proper habitat…" Beast starts, trying to use it as a Science moment, but the appearance of a man and a cottage pause that thought. He nods to Simon, "Take them back. If we're not back in half an hour," he tosses the older kid the car keys, "Go back to the Institute and tell the others where we are." Or were.

It's all about keeping the kids safe.

Golden eyes look between the masked figure, Remy, Cessily, and the other kids…watching and preparing to get between them and any attack if need be.

Yes, lets wait for the kids to go. And Cessily? The metal girl receives a studious glance. She stays? Fine. "My name is Fantomex. I think you have heard of me recently, oui? We had some indirect business, common friends, maybe a relative or two. And a video. There was also a video. We were supposed to meet in a few days, but I won't be in the US much longer."

He has an outrageous French accent. For those who know French, it sounds odd. For those who are French, its obviously fake.

Simon nods to Beast and ushers the other kids along. Carl eagerly races ahead unaware of the tension exhibited by the adults. He is victorious with a frog in hand after all.

Remy doesn't release the charge on the cigarette even as Fantomex speaks with his ridiculous French accent. Gambit himself is known to go through thick to light Cajun given his exposure to the south and his laziness… but this guy…
"Lapkin never mentioned your accent. Kind of French is dat?" A sly yet daring smile appears, "Fantomex, huh. It okay Beast, dis de guy who my cousin hooked up with for Genosha. Though, you ain't 'sposed to be here, homme."

Cessily Kincaid doesn't know for sure what's going on. But she's to stay, so she stays. Pursing her lips, she looks and listens. "Oh is this about that…." she gasps, trailing off before she says anything she's not sure she should say. "… thing the other day?" She folds her hands behind her back, and straightens up.

Beast speaks French, among many other languages and tilts his head at the other's accent. He continues to look between the others, letting Remy handle taking lead on this for now. He does add, "We don't want any trouble…"

Because standoffs in the woods are always innocuous.

"Parisian," lies Fantomex smoothly. "More dignified than mutt Creole, oui?" He is probably not being serious. The accent is distracting, though. "I am not just any trouble, monsieur," he states, looking at Hank. "However, your friend," headtilt to Gambit, "has been looking for information about a little island called Genosha. I stumbled on it a few months ago while I was digging for information on Sentinel factories."

"We had an appointment. A time and location set, why you here now?" Remy pushes past the desire to retaliate with sarcasm or humor of his own. The cigarette lifeless now and not charged is placed behind an ear.
"Not the best time for a chit chat, Fantomex. But you may as well get on wit' it." Gambit has at least visibly eased up a bit, perhaps hes confident with two ther X-Men near him or simply put at ease knowing this guy may be a friendly. Possibly both.

Cessily Kincaid doesn't speak French. But it helps that the word 'video' sounds pretty much the same in English and French, and of course 'Genosha' is 'Genosha', which is how she could guess that that's what this was about. Also because that's the only Big Deal she's aware of right now. So, she looks from man to man, and just waits, shifting the weight from foot to foot a little awkwardly, occasionally glancing up to check for storming coming.


"I've been to Paris," Hank states flatly, watching Fantomex carefully. "And we know about Genosha. It's not like the island's existence is a secret." Sentinel -factories-…that certainly does explain a bit more, at least.

"All true, monsieur LeBeau," admits Fantomex. "But I am unsure I will be around for our appointment, I am leaving for Ibiza tonight," he gestures to the cottage. The door opens. "Beautiful place, Ibiza. Very nice place to hold conferences and such. Have you heard about it? I am sure you have!"
Inside the cottage there is a large computer console, and the walls are covered with high-res screens. There are no windows, even though there were windows outside. "I just intercepted some reports from Genosha. The government is not very squeamish at moral issues, looks like they have sent assassins to get rid of this person." Pictures of Charles Xavier appears in some of the screens. In others there are images and topographical displays of the Isle of Ibize, the building where the conference is taking place, several hotels. "Just a kindly old man, oui? I was surprised when I noticed the school just south of here is in his family properties. He is old money."

"Qui, it is that." Gambit agrees not seeing where Fantomex is going with this up until mention of Professor X and the assassins has his red-black eyes going wide and round. "Charles!" It always sounds like 'Sharles' when Remy says it or yells it, like right now.

Cessily Kincaid would follow along behind Remy, though she'll probably look to Hank for direction on whether she should go in or not. Either way, she tends toward the back, hands behind her back, eyes wide as she takes in the sights. Especially those of Charles.

Beast's eyes narrow as Fantomex shares the news about the assassins before he looks to Remy, "He's not oblivious and you know it. I think assassinating him might prove harder than most might think." Back to Fantomex, "Why are you telling us all of this? Are you trying to extort us? Trying to get information? I don't have the time or the patience for these games." Maybe his sneer shows a little too much teeth there…


"No, Charles almost goes 'round inviting folks to try an whack him. This time we know 'bout it before hand if what Fantomex say is true, so it our job to do somethin' bout it." Remy replies with frown etched across his brow. "Who he got escorting him anyways? We send them a warning."
"My friend here right though, what you get out of dis? I never paid nobody and Lapkin cheap as teevs get."

"But monsieur, I love games," admits Fantomex, glancing to Beast. "And riddles. And Genosha is quite the riddle. So much noise when Rachel Grey talked about the Sentinels to foreign ambassadors, and now, no one cares another nation is building improved versions of these fantastic super-weapons. And coincidentally they have many business deals with Trask Industries. And now they send assassins to kill a seemingly harmless humanitarian. Which you think is not helpless despite being an old wheelchair-bound man."
Graydon Creed face appears on another screen. "Another mystery. Graydon Creed has visited Hammer Bay several times. He even has a permanent guest suite in the presidential palace."

Cessily Kincaid looks around, trying to understand what's going on. She starts looking to Hank pretty regularly, and decides she'll just have to ask later what all the French is about."


"So, why are you telling us all of this?" Beast asks with a sigh. He just has no patience for these political games right now. "Xavier isn't -that- old and you know of Chuck Norris, don't you? He's 'old' yet I wouldn't want to try and sneak up on him." He even seems entirely serious about that. "No one cares because this nation is trying to get rid of mutants and most of the world despises mutants. So. There is your answer as to why 'no one cares'."

"Well, I do care. It must be because I am a mutant," admits Fantomex. "But as I said, I do like unraveling mysteries too." The screens go black. "A year ago I managed to acquire the schematics of the first Sentinels models. They are already obsolete," he tosses a usb dispositive to Hank. "Which is remarkable. Military vehicles have a much longer life cycle, oui? Or maybe the engineers didn't let the all-powerful US army have their best designs. Instead… the Purifiers were able to build some Sentinels, and no heads rolled in the military-industrial complex. Can you see a pattern there, because I do."

"You a mutant, huh?" Remy questions. A sound escapes him that could be tongue clicking teeth. A curious sidelong glance is given to Cessily, "Dis de kinda thing you got to expect of X-Men, p'tite. Cryptic confusion major part of de bag." A light smile as the rain picks up, "Fantomex, you give us a way to contact you and more information about this assassination attempt… we'll check it out. If it true, we'll follow up on de rest of your intel. See where it leads us an' jus' how much of de truth you speak. Because if you as fake as your accent, we gon' find out and you ain't gonna like us no more. Dat a promise, mon ami."

Cessily Kincaid gives a little nod to Remy. She's slowly starting to catch the rhythms of the Frenchified English. First hit with it, it's indecipherable to hear an accent that to her is so exotic, but after a while she starts to get it. "Yes," she says softly. But she has nothing to add to the substance of the conversation just yet, so that's all she says.

Fantomex smiles under the mask, "X-Men, interesting that." Mystery solved, although only the smaller one. "I told you I am leaving for Ibiza. You will see me there having tea with your bald friend. Or maybe mourning at his funeral, depending how good are those assassins. If you want to come, do not tarry. And if you have your own intel on Genosha, please, do share."

The USB is caught and pocketed, "Of course they're already obsolete. Because we keep on destroying them, so they have to build better ones in order to keep us in check." Hank scowls at the faux Frenchman, "Why should we share with you? How do we know that you won't just betray us?"

"Paranoia can save your life," admits Fantomex. The cottage is disintegrating, replaced by a complex organic metal construct, metal that flows like liquid. And they were under it. "Trust but verify, monsieur. But we came in peace, and we leave the same. Au revoir."
It was a flying saucer, of all things. Fantomex climbs inside and the machine hovers up quickly, leaving the X-Men not in a clearing, but in the middle of the forest.

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