Hidden Memories

March 05, 2016:

The second therapy session is underway in which Gabriel reveals a long, lost childhood memory.



NPCs: None.

Mentions: Brinley Myers & Charles Xavier


Mood Music: [*\# None.]

Fade In…

It's been a week or so since Gabriel agreed to come by regularly for sessions with Jean Grey; and the prescribed time has come so he is waiting patiently outside the hallway to her office. At least the student who had brought him here had not seemed to put off by the fact that the man had shown up looking like a throw away urban cowboy and made the request.

He sits outside, hands folded over in his lap and has been for some time having arrived early since someone must have emphasized punctuality upon him. His eyes are focused on the ground just in front of his worn boots as he waits with tentative apprehension that emanates from him.

This time, Jean wasn't so much as mess as she was upon their first meeting. She expected him to be there sometime this day but didn't exactly know when. But the approach down the hallway, with sleeves rolled up, fingers wiped and pressed against the paper toweling has her offering up a smile towards his downcast gaze. "You're here." Paper towels was soon tossed within the garbage as she approaches, her hands soon pressed behind her back as she tries to lean down to catch his gaze.

She wasn't wearing much to be noticed, a pair of sweats and a NYU shirt that was a darker grey than the jogging pants she wore. She was barefoot, long, thick red hair tied back into a ponytail. It was almost as if she were a student within these walls, though.. that could be true. "Come on. Walk with me."

Gabriel looks up when Jean speaks to him and then passes in front of his gaze. At seeing her, something happens and a soft smile touches his lips, his eyes sparkling a bit as he nods towards her rising up. "I'm here. I said I would be." He almost sounds a little surprised there was any doubt as he rises to his feet to stand up. "Where are we walking towards?" The man asks it as he straightens up and falls in a pace behind Jean in a proper subservant position. "Will I as well need to remove my boots in order to match you? Is it wrong to wear shoes when your host does not?"

A smile! She's never seen that from him before. Even though it was soft and slight, it has her grinning all the more. "The kitchen." Her answer was as simple as it was complicated, but she does shake her head just a little. "You don't need to remove your boots. But you can if it would make you feel comfortable." She emphasizes this with a gesture to his feet, but continues along the path that would bring them out into the foyer.

"So, since we've last talked." She starts out, breaking that bit up into a sentence as she pushes open the double doors that leads into their personal space. Dishes were piled high into the sink, and without a moment to waste, she heads straight for them, gesturing the young man closer. There wasn't an asking in this assistance, only a gathering of plates which were given towards Gabriel if he accepts.

"Has anything interesting transpired that you need an unbiased opinion on?"

"The kitchen. That is where I help at X-Red when I can." He follows along and keeps his boots on, apparently finding them to be comfortable or at the least seems confused by the concept. After arriving his eyes befall on the mess and he starts there almost before Jean does, so when the plates are offered to Gabriel he accepts them and without even hesitating sets to work on the process of cleaning them in the sink. The method is rather well rehearsed from the motions, something he's done before as he is pretty efficient in the actions.

"I went on a date, I believe that's what she called it, with a friend. We were to go dancing so we went to one of the dance gathering places. I have never danced before, well, I don't remember dancing before." He adds the last after a moment as he places some clean dishes on the counter opposite the sink.

"When we arrived they did not wish to give admittance to both of us, only me. This made me quite upset. She was able to convince me to let the situation go but even now part of me wishes to go and address the issue with the man who was rude." His knuckles whiten just a little bit when he grabs the next plate while he speaks, his eyes looking a bit intense and cheeks drawn a bit, the emotions on the surface of being upset over it.

"That's good!" Jean wasn't chiding him, she was genuinely happy. Even if washing dishes were such a minor thing it serves as a purpose. Something anyone could do with their hands. But she leaves him to it as he begins to clean, Jean taking up a clean rag and a solution of bleach and water, spraying down the surfaces of the counter top to wipe it down to sterilize the kitchen after the mess she made this morning. And she listens without interruption, nodding occasionally should a glance be spared in her direction.

"Why did they not let both of you in together?" Jean asks, curious. She doesn't press further, but she does note the mild reaction that.. possibly after a while, still felt raw. "Tell me what would happen if you were to go and address the issue at this moment, especially after all this time has passed?"

Gabriel does offer the occasional glance up to see if he's bored the woman out of her mind while he does the dishes, setting another few to the side in neat, orderly stacks. There is no immediate response to the question as he is pondering it. "My ideal would be for this man to offer an apology to my friend, it hurt her feelings and I believe an apology is in order. The incident did not ruin the evening and in fact it most likely turned out for the best." That brings a small smile to his lips as he glances at Jean. "It ended well."

He looks back towards the dishes. "Had it not ended well, and had she been truly hurt by his actions and was unwilling to apologize, then I would enforce his apology through violence. He was crude, insulting for no reason other than he wanted to be." Again those knuckles tighten just slightly but then Gabriel calms, "But it worked out for the best, so such actions would not be warranted. I know that violence isn't the answer but sometimes… sometimes…"

"If the evening ended so well, why feel the need to still approach this man? Why not turn the other cheek?" She stops wiping now, carefully folding up the towel to place into the bin to be washed and cleaned, the bottle of concocted liquid soon put away upon the shelf where the rest of the cleaning agents lay.

"The resilience that most people have is astounding. And as chivalrous as it all might seem coming to her defense, it's not needed." She smiles just a little at that. "Violence begets violence, Gabriel. Often times it -could- be the answer, which would bring about the question of good and evil. But to answer his crude behavior with violence does nothing but shed a light on the atrocities within yourself. We cannot change a persons behavior by putting a switch to their backside. In a way, it would almost be as if we're proving them right. That their behavior was justified yet put to the wrong person. It could backfire so easily."

The fridge was soon moved to as she opens it, the garbage can that was on the other side of the room soon slides to her side. "Do you understand?"

"It would be easy." Gabriel responds quietly more to himself than to Jean before he shakes his head, "And that is why it is wrong." At that point he looks over at the red head, eyes looking a little sullen. "That is why I do nothing. Because it would be to easy to do it. The truer challenge is to do nothing. I do not know why but I do not want to take the easy route." With that he offers a very small smile. "I do not think on things like good and evil. I know what they are but it is like.. like a fog around it." He finishes the dishes and sets them aside before turning to face Jean, leaning against the counter.

"A fog around my mind when I try to think on certain things. Like, I know what they are. I know I should be able to know them but I'm not allowed to. It is quite frustrating." Gabriel says it is frustrating with a small smile on his lips however. "I do understand what you are saying, I think. And although it is for different reasons, I do not want to be violent."

"It's not wrong because it's easy. It's wrong because you'd hurt someone over words that could be easily brushed aside and forgotten about after a very good night." Jean smiles at that, though notes that he looks sullen. He was right. The challenge was true when it comes to turning the other cheek, there were a great a many figures who have done so and were all the better for it. Stronger.

Though, his words were curious, something that causes her to look up from the fridge to watch him for a moment. With a step back, she closes the fridge promptly, the current task at hand forgotten. "A fog?" Hm.. "Come on. Let's take a break."

She moves away from the fridge and garbage can, right towards the islands where the stools sit. She pulls one out for him, and the other for her, which was soon sat upon, her bare feet resting upon the throngs as she cracks her fingers. "How much do you know about what I can do, Gabriel?"

Gabriel notices the change, immediately presuming something he's done is wrong and the flood of disappointing emotions surfaces before they go away realizing that is not the case. Relieved a bit, he nods his head when Jean moves the stool for him to sit and he does so; again with that posture. Looking into Jean's eyes, well, almost not quite making true eye contact, his shoulders lift.

"I did not ask others. I got the impression from Miss Moira that asking about such things was considered rude by some, so I do not inquire. What I have seen is that you are a good listener and seem to be genuinely concerned about others. And that the people here respect you from their tone and mannerisms."

"That's.." Jean starts, a little surprised. "..actually very sweet of you." She admits, her brows shooting up, surprised still, but it helps with the smile that rests upon her face. "Even though it wasn't said, you were still mindful of others feelings before your own and refrained from leaning on your very curiosities." But, as he compliments her, she gives a slight shake of her head and looks away. "I.. wow. I'm flattered, but really.."

"I am a telepath. I can read minds. I can even unlock memories and bring them to realization. But.. it's a slow, surgical thing that I would like to try. There are dangers with this. And chances that I could fry your brain or completely traumatize you." She smiles. "One of the best of us, Charles Xavier. I learned from him. I still learn from him." She pauses just a little.

"I would like to use this gift to help you. That's if you trust me. Granted I didn't make it seem as if it were magic and told you exactly what would happen if everything goes wrong, but you deserve to know before you agree to this."

Gabriel listens carefully, looking a bit embarrassed himself when Jean looks away after his polite words. When she explains her powers, her abilities and what she would like to do there is an attentive look before finally when finished Gabriel sits quietly in thought. "The worst outcome is to damage my mind which for all purposes is already damaged. The potential benefit is to start understanding some of what is locked away. I do not see any alternative."

There's a small smile from Gabriel, "I would appreciate you attempting to help me in this way, I do trust you to do this so yes, I agree. However, should anything go wrong, you will inform Brinley so she knows and does not worry?"

"Damaged or probably protected." She comments, but she does nod a little, her hands soon resting upon her thighs to rub them quickly to dry them. She does smell a little of bleach, but it was a faint hint. The entire room smelled clean, she just stood out more than most. "I will tell Brinley if anything should happen to you. I promise." She smiles, her head slowly tilting as she works out the kinks, left and right, shaking out her hands as she slowly soon lifts them to hover right upon either side of his temples.

"Close your eyes." She instructs. "And breathe. Don't hold your breath. Just breathe easy." Her voice was soothing as her own eyes soon close, keeping her fingers straight. "Now I want you to focus on that fog." It was the last thing that she's said, for her body goes stiff and rigid as she begins to explore, and he could possibly feel the tingle right at the base of his neck.

Gabriel nods his head and tries to relax as best he can, taking deep soothing breaths as he stares ahead watching Jean when she places her hands on either side of his temples…

~~His mind is like a fortress; perhaps surprisingly so. Even relaxed and allowing admittance the first part of his mind is behind a barrier of energy that shields it, certainly not strong enough to prevent Jean's admittance but it does possess a foggy nature to it, perhaps the fog that Gabriel was discussing.

Beyond the initial energy barrier lays flat out the mind of the man. The streets and pathways of his memories like buildings with stout locks on all of them. Some have thicker shields then others but all have the same warding about them, his memories have been segmented away. This is not the work of amnesia, but rather the work of a strong telepath who has taken their time to lock away Gabriel's mind and to prevent access.

Everywhere across his mind are 'warning signs' left by whatever telepath has done this work. The language is unknown, the script looking obsucre, almost alien but the impression behind each fo the warnings is blatantly clear; 'WARNING. DANGER. WARNING. DANGER'.~~

"I'm thinking about the fog but it's weird trying to think about the fog…" Gabriel comments, his brow furrowing some as he attempts to concentrate.

~~She manifests as a small flame, a flame that slowly grows in height, like a fiery sprite with hair that nearly licks the skyline. All forced and compacted down into her likeness, yet still that unearthly glow is retained. The fire was gone, yet the clear whites of her eyes remain forward as the streets slowly build itself. The X-Man uniform, all black now, was adorned to create a form of modesty where one wasn't needed.

The initial barriers were something of a childs play, but this? This was something else. It was clear that a psychic had done their job at making his mind inaccessable but -why-? Jean slowly begins to walk, taking heed of the warnings that were interpreted, until she begins to lightly jog down the street to find at least -one- building where the signs weren't the most prominent and outlandish.~~

"Think about the good and evil." Jean murmurs quietly, her brows furrowing. "And the meaning it holds for you."

"Good and Evil, alright…" Gabriel respons quietly, furrowing his own brow and closing his eyes to concentrate on the concept."

~~A structure in the plane of his mind lights up, only a couple of blocks from where Jean's mental avatar is at. It is an older looking structure, representing an older memory. It is secured and locked as most are and it even possesses the standard warning that most other memories through his mind do; Warning, Danger written in the odd script.~~

"It isn't going to work, is it?" Gabriel asks quietly, his eyes opening a bit. "I'm focusing but I just.. it's just not there."

~~The quick jog of Jean as she speaks carries her down those few blocks, which soon lift her off into a flight which speeds up the process of reaching through the fog and to that old structure. She lands nearby, bending slightly at the knees upon landing, standing straight up to start her approach towards the building. Her eyes look up to heed the warnings, but she continues on. And once her hand was upon the lock, she examines it with her minds-eye, glancing up towards the voice that penetrates the cloud.~~

"Quiet." She says aloud.

~~Her hand curls around the lock, and with a hard press and tug, she snaps the lock right off.~~

Granted, it took effort, which was seen in the real world by a bead of sweat that begins to trail down her own temple.

~~Her hand reaches out to press against the door and the knob, twisting it until she sees it open, then slowly steps inside, the door closing right behind her. Just in case.~~

~~Jean steps into the memory;

A young man, around the age of 8 who she can feel is Gabriel is sitting on the floor of a cell like room. The decor is spartan with a small pair of beds that are kept well, the room has an odd shine to it that could be the lasting impact of the memory. The young man that is sitting is leaned over, his back being tended to by an older woman who is dabbing at it with ointment and speaking. It takes a moment, the words translating through the memory.

"The light lashes will heal, the deeper ones they will not. You will be left with their marks. That is the orders of the Master," The somber tone of the woman matching her aged disposition, a job she has done many times.

"It is fine. I deserved the punishment. I dropped the glass and was a bad servant." Gabriel's voice, it echoes as both the boy and the man in the real world both speak it quietly.

The old woman rises, moves around in front of Gabriel and shakes her head, "You are not bad, you are a good boy. They are the ones who are wrong, who are evil." She reaches out and gives the child a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "I will tell them you need some more time to heal." Gabriel shakes his head, "No Matron. I will go now, it is better to get the rest of the punishment overwith…"

Gabriel's memory of Good and Evil; at least the one that was locked away. Being punished for dropping a glass and being told he was what was wrong, the confusion of the young man as he slowly stands up in his cell. Is he evil for dropping the glass? Is it evil that he wants to reject his punishment and stop all of this? No. He's a good boy, he will accept the lashings…

"Stop… please…"

~~It was something, being in another persons memory. She doesn't stop or hold it still, she allows it to play out, being the ghostly figure in the memory that presses herself against the corner of the wall. Shocked and nearly saddened at the mistreatment of the boy. What is another fallback, was that she couldn't tell the intentions of the Matron. Only her words to reassure the boy and his cold way of dealing with things at such a young age. It nearly breaks her heart.

She slowly turns away to examine the room, her brows furrowing, taking in each and every detail as he remembers it into her own, remaining quiet, stepping side as the woman pushes out of the room leaving the boy alone. She could hear the words above, then looks down towards the boy with a hint of sadness. There was almost a moment to do the unthinkable, to implant herself into something that was once done already.. but she doesn't. She was smart enough to know not to mess with a mind like that, and slowly.. very slowly.. she begins to pull herself out. It was like a gentle easing, like someone pressing down upon your shoulders and slowly letting off..~~

..and her hands slowly lower, shaking, to rest against her thighs as she hunches over briefly, letting out a loud breath. "It's stopped." She finally says, with a quiet murmur. "Tell me what you're feeling right now.."

Gabriel is quiet, he is not making eye contact instead he is looking at the ground in contemplation before finally he speaks. "I am embarrassed. Embarrassed that I was so helpless. That I was so weak. I remember this now, this is my memory and I remember it." A soft sigh leaves his lips as his head shakes. "Helpless, weak, I could have stopped it but I was so afraid to. Because I was the one that was wrong. I had done bad, I deserved the punishment."

"That is what I remember, that is what I feel." Gabriel looks up at Jean, there is anger there; not at her not in the least but a true anger. "I feel like I deserved what was happening. Why? Why do I think I deserved this?"

Jean frowns at this admission, but it was the truth as he felt it. She doesn't interrupt, but she keeps her eyes upon him with her brows curled inward as if she were thinking.

"Because even if we do not realize it, our parents or those who were in charge of our care shape who we are now." She smiles a little, then reaches out to touch his thigh. "Whether for better or for worse. Their thoughts, their ideals, how they've treated us and how they didn't.." She leans back then, drawing her hand away. "..it impacts us. Some of us try so hard to think in ways that their parents or caretakers did not. Some of us take to it like a moth to a flame." She slips from the stool, then steps close to carefully draw him up into a hug. Wanted or not, she was going to hug him.

"But, take this question home with you. If your child, or any child under your care dropped a glass, do you truly believe that they should bleed over something so easily replaced?" She pulls away then, leaving her hands upon his shoulders. And then she smiles.

"See you next week?"

Gabriel is, without question, a bit surprised when Jean rises to hug him and a blush touches his cheeks as she does. However, etiquette and the things he's encountered lead him to reach up and gently return the gesture with one arm before she pulls away. Looking at her, he nods his head a bit. "I will think on it, and yes, next week." He manages a small smile, genuine, enough that it touches his eyes. "Thank you. I will be better prepared next time for what… what may be uncovered, I will spend time preparing myself."

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