Shut Up Meg

February 28, 2016:

A squabble among bird people ends up joined by a spider.

New York City


NPCs: Le Peregrine, L.Y.L.A., Raptor

Mentions: Wonder Woman, Spider-Man (the real one)


Mood Music: Have you not heard?

Fade In…

Thwip Thwip
Surreal still Spider-Man 2099 has been swinging around New York City of the "present" day for about three hours now and didn't see a single flying car. It's hard to get used to the overall… lowness of it all. The buildings are smaller, the animal life is real, the birds aren't 3D printed animals. It's serious getting used to required.

Slapping against the side of a building like sticky puddy not-Spider-Man/Spider-Man clings there while pulling up his mask to chew on the street side burrito he'd been carrying. All neatly wrapped in something called tinfoil. Not a thing in the future. No need for it.
Peace is all but interrupted when a loud crash sound a couple blocks away has him peering up around his early lunch.

Spiraling through the air like two dancers is a winged creature that looks very much like a golden bird with a long whip like tail and massive white wings. Humanoid, however. Opposite him and doing most the striking is another purple and grey clad male fighter with wings the brawling is all aerial and dizzying.
"Should I even bother? Like… I'm not even comprehending what I am seeing… "

New York. New York. Though Shayera spends most of her time in space or Metropolis looking over the hell torn 'Gate', it was good once in a while to sow your oats after a long night of drinking and 'pal'ing' around with some of the locals. Absence of wings, apparently, gets you free drinks and grabs that make the local news because some man was thrown out of the window at a baseball pitchers speed..

But a fresh shower, stolen hotel soap and gym were in the cards. Bandages wrapped around fingers up to forearms as she stands upon the roof with a balancing act upon the ledge which makes most people nervous due to the hint of l'appel du vide lingering on their inner horizon. Wet hair clings to her back as she allows herself a ballerinas spin and turn, arms splayed to fall and catch the current of the wind which makes wings sprout and beat against.

That moment of serenity was interrupted by the blasting crash that snaps her upright and immediately into play. Because it's habit. And that's what people like her do. The scene was reached and it takes her a clear moment to focus in on the two winged men, a prickled tingle at the back of her neck causes instinct to rise and raise to grab and rub out. Still hung over, a burp from the sick given yet quiet in tones has her curling fingers into a knuckle cracked fist and..


Or catch fire or some shit. She's seen it in a movie once.


Another birdman person?
"I get it now. This is some sort of mating display for the lady bird." Another bite of the burrito and Spider-Black launches himself in to a flying glide towards the trio.
"Oh it's like national geographic live! This is a very historic event Miguel." A female voice chimes. "We should observe and document for SCIENCE!"
"Uhm no. I figured I'd just punch one of them until they stop because they're breaking stuff."
"Okay then lets punch them for science!"
"Sure, Lyla, why not."

The golden birdman is frothing at the beak/mouth(?) with wings rapidly flapping behind him, talons and claws sweep out to ward away the attacks of the man in purple regalia that is swiftly kicking him in rapid action.

"Prenez cette, et cela, et cela." The attacker challenges in what is probably French.

Then Shayera is present and the fast moving aerial fighters are separating the more actual bird looking of the two is fleeing with a squawk and the Frenchman pauses to acknowledge Hawkwoman, "Bonjour, Dame."



Soon as those words left her lips she took off in flight, ready to punch any and everything until one of them stopped to give explanation as to why the fight.. and why she needed to join to break up some fight. And why her hair drying (by the air) had to stop right then and there to deal with a situation that could possibly kill a few of the Terrans she's come to know and often times hate. She loves them though. Little bit squishier than her. Full of fun and innovation.

Like Paco. She is still planning to kidnap the man and return to Thangar once allowed to showcase his illustrious treats. Dem burritos, though.

Though, as the bird-like being takes off with a squawk and the Frenchman stops to speak, Shayera cuts flight mid air reminiscent of tire screech, mouth agape and finger pointing sideways with a hell of a lot of confusion and .. really. What in the world just happened there?

Her lips curl into a slight pucker as her head tilts, brows furrowing, tongue pressed against the roof of her mouth as a little *tssss* sound is heard. Then she shakes off that little bit of confusion to bring hands down to press against the swell of her hips, fingers curling and shoulders back to present an authoritative pose. "Just what in the name of Thoth are you doing?" OH. And Hi. That's fallen by the wayside.


"What am I doing?" The accent of the man is thick, "I am Le Peregrine… champion of France and I am trying to capture… look out!" The Peregrine lunges forward to knock Hawkwoman aside as that golden creature rushes headfirst in a slam at her backside. Snarling and making noises that just don't sound natural.
Also there is a black and red garbed Spider-Man about to descend swiftly upon the trio of winged people.
"Merde! Defend yourself, femme! It would appear Raptor has tricked me!"
"Tricked? This guy is hard to understand. Good thing I'm wearing my kick pants today." Spider-Man 2099 taunts as he Kung-Fu's it in.


Most peoples danger sense comes in as a need to look. Shayera's was all heat. Just when she was about to produce a half turn with an outstretched arm to smack whatever comes into view. Swing first. Ask questions later. But the push that knocks her out of the way has her sprawling within the air, a tumble and took, righting herself with eyes wide to see.. Spider-Man? Is that.. no.. he does not match the pictures on the Bugle. He's not the masked menace that the crazy man with the pornstache vilifies. This was all wrong.

Her hand snaps out to summon her Nth in the form of a bowstaff, twirled with an ominous woosh and she dashes. Defender of France? Evil Spider-Man? Crazy bird-thing? Yeah. They're all going down.

"HEEE-YAH!" Bird first. Others next.

Eeyah no Spidey-Crash-Alert system for this guy. The glide has Spider-Man twisting himself in to a full frontal crash against Shayera just as that Nth metal encases her form.

"Ow… "

"Mr. O'Hara slang update like you requested… you just got bitch smacked" the pinning back wheel through the air indication enough and he tosses out a web line from his forearm. "Shock my ears are rattling.Bitch slapped or smacked? Thanks, Lyla… you're the best." Sarcasm.

"Well done!" Peregrine announces while his wings take him back and he re-positions. "This uh RaptorE. He not so bad but he is acting very uh… bad, very not well… something is not good." It is clear that Peregrine is trying hard to find the right words. His accent is thick but his English is not horrible. He is just suffering in correct terms. "You are Hawkgirl? Of the Justice League?"
Raptor spins around evading away from Hawkwoman's dash attack rage yet panick in it's eyes. Feathers fly off it in a trail to pelt Shayera in the face. It turns around like a predator bird upside down and lifts both hooked feet towards her in a slashing downward rip.



So she didn't meant to hit the not-so-Spider-man yet. It just happened. Thankfully the Nth softened the blow that would have came if she decided to keep her armor off as she originally thought. But it was on and she was protected, if not knocked a few paces back, ready to direct that rage towards the man in black and red until the slashing downward rip of the bird causes her to back off entirely.

She was listening. She just didn't speak. The man was taking too long to talk and this bird needed down so the others could be dealt with next. Process of elimination. The other man flew and Spider-Not-Spider was.. Spider-Man? Confusing. Confusing ones next. Then the kindly one.

"Yes." She finally hisses out, fingers opening to allow the Nth to shrink and pool within her hand. If something was 'mentally' wrong with the bird (as if!) then mere fists wouldn't help but disable, not solve the actual problem.

Her lips press together as she tries to stay out of arm and clawed reach of the beast, drawing in a breath to emit a quiet whistle of a song. Worked for the other birds, right? (Not her. The smaller ones.)


"En garde, Spider-Man!"
"S-Man, just S-Man for now."
"This is what I said."
"No you said, Spider-Man."
"Yes, that is what you said."
"No, I said S-Man."
"YES! It is what I said"
"Oh Shock it you are annoying."
A graceful flip through the air and Spider-Man lands on a Peregrine's shoulders.
"Get off me!"
"Not until you can say my name."
"I already said it!"
"This is not well we need to stop the Raptor."
"I think your birdy playmate has him handled."
"Ce que?"
"Yes, what?"
"I hate you."
"GET OFF ME rude American!"

Raptor's claws do nothing to the Nth armor and it executes a turn to try and descend and fly away a pained screech escaping it. The bird call doesn't do a damned thing.
"Okay so I am going to assume we're all good guys here right? Maybe we should stop the loud real bird as a team?" Spider-Man 2099 says.


Shayera was practically whistling dixie as the bird was attacking. Backing away, raising her arm to shield herself against the attacks so none would hit her exposed parts. *SHRING!* *TING!*

So the bird call wasn't working, neither was the in-fighting between the two men that on better days would serve as entertainment and yet, Shayera was a moody broad just fresh from a hang-over and a night of puking up dinner and Jim Beam. In fact, even the hits are giving her a headache and there was a quiet wish for a nice, thick juicy burger with added grease and fifteen bottles of Sprite (love that stuff) so she could ease the rumble.

The bird flies away and Shayera is just left.. annoying, slightly pissed, a tad bit dizzy and a snap and a point. "Right." She says to.. S-Man? "Spider-Man. New digs, I assume. But you're correct. Try to get close and entangle the bird in your.." She waves her hand. "..juices. It will allow Napolean to assess the situation and we will go from there." She snaps quickly. Go forth and conquer! It was getting away!


"Juices? Thats gross. These are a protein fibre that… right nevermind… on it." Leaping free of Peregrine Spider-O'Hara tumbles in the air and fires off several shots of silk globule at the retreating Raptor then spreads his hands causing them to form out wide in to a netting. They miss but that was the intention the birdman pulls up and is forced to come to a flapping halt only to turn back around and face them.

"Assess? Yes. My plan was to subdue him with punches and kicks… I was not equipped for anything more. My utility belt is still on the plane."

"But you brought your wings and costume?"
"Never leave home without."
"Spoken like a true weirdo."
"This Spider-Man is not so polite and neighborly as they say."
"I'm not that Spider-Man."

The Raptor screeches in challenge that them. A rough sound that his hoarse, confusion, rage, anxiety and agitation is rife in the expressions of the crazy bird.


Shayera didn't care what it was! She didn't even see if it shot from anything. All she knew was that it came from his body and in a way, that was kind of gross. But she was right on the red and blacks six, flying close behind the ejected webbing, putting herself in between the Not-So-Spider-Man and the Peregrine. Wings fan out almost threateningly, though it was only meant to block the view of the other two from the bird. Her hands outstretched not in a come-hither motion but as a need of a hug.
"Then who the hell are you?" Shayera snaps, looking behind her, but then back towards the Raptore with a frown. "Easy. Easy Raptore.." She mutters, keeping her hands visible. "Easy…." Her eyes take a careful stock of the bird, looking for injuries or signs of abuse.. gaining closer at a slow pace as to not spook it further.

"Well, I am Spider-Man just not that one? It's complicated."

Peregrine warily flies up next to Hawkwoman, "We must be careful. I was to escort him back home and he just started talking nonsense then turned in to this and we fought our fight spilled over to here. I do not think it is him in a correct mind."

"Well, it is hard to tell what could be wrong with him if hes… " Spider-Man 2099 flings his hands towards Raptor, "Not normally like this. Otherwise we could run tests. Speaking of… "
"Lyla can you run a bio-scan on him?"
"Yes if you get me in close proximity." A golden glowing image of a long haired Marilyn Monroe projects from Spider-Man hovering in the air near them. "Tweety bird. He looks like Tweety Bird."
"That is not helpful, Lyla."
"Sacre Bleu! Warn us next time."
"My bland. She wasn't supposed to do that."
"Bland? What do you mean?
" I think the slang is 'my bad', master."
"Shock it, Lyla I don't care. I'm already bickering with the French flying fruitbat here I don't need to argue with you too."
"Fruitbat? Peregrine you stupide imbécile!"
A loud caw and the bird plunges towards Shayera with wings back in a predator's dive. He means to slam in to her at full speed. Fight or flight. Fight is triggered.

"There is a human under there?" She glances towards Peregrine, "Like you?"

The vision of the old actress sparks a little bit of alarm and wonder, she hadn't seen technology on Terra like this, and of course it would be a staple of interest at a later date. And it speaks! One of Stark's unreleased models? Could he be working for and with Stark? Another question to ponder and interrogation if there is a need. Even the language was off, something was not right about this version of Spider-Man, her brows furrow in thought, taking her mind away from the situation in distraction for a lucky shot of the bird slamming right into her chest.

There was no sound, only the pit of her armor as arms immediately wrap around the bird upon impact. She wasn't as strong as most heroes, but she forms a locking grip of fingers in a militaristic hold that would serve too hard to break. Unless he decides to rip her limbs free.

"STOP TALKING AND HIT HIM!" Or something, she wasn't sure how long she could hold out. Though, in a quick moment of fast thinking, the close proximity allows her the chance to use the blunt end of her helmet with a rearing back of her head and an attempted knock against the birds.
"Human? Yes, like me non. Not quite so magnifique."
As Shayera and Raptor collide in a tangle of wings, talons, armor, fists and noises they also start to plummet towards the streets of the city below.
"Fruitbat shut your mouth and start hitting!" Spider-Man slings low and creates another webnet that will act like a sticky trampoline for the birds to land upon.
"Oui qui, rude American." An acrobatic flip and a downward press of arched wings and Peregrine lives up to his name with a swoop from the heavens that strikes with enough impact to drill Shayera and the captured bird in to the web the impact is felt but all that pain is delivered in to Raptor. A now very unconscious Raptor.

Wings try to beat against the downward fall towards the city, Shayera's head turning back to view the rows of people either watching or milling by, street cars passing through the array of traffic as lights turn yellow, red.. and then green. There was almost a need or a move to draw her legs behind her to try to push upright, but the cushion of the webbing makes them both bounce and yet that grip is still fortified. Legs even come into play, wrapping and attempting to keep the bird man still until the impact that knocks the bird man out is felt.

Thankfully, there was no added pain to it or there would have been hell to pay in the most nicest way possible.

Yet she holds on to him for that moment, waiting until she was sure that nothing would happen.. then finally releases the bird and with a grunt, pushes him off of her as she lays there to collect herself. Wings immediately disappear as she begins to try to manuever herself against the webbing, hurling herself right, left.. then upon her knees as she slowly rises in a tight-rope stance with arms apart.

"You.." She points out towards the man, the other Spider-Man of course. "Scan him. He's still enough now. And afterwards you.." She points to Peregrine.. "Collect him and care for him. You could have gotten innocents hurt this night, you touch down upon this side of the world again you make contact."

As Raptor fades further in to unconsciousness his body starts to shift and under go metamorphisis writhing as it shrinks in on itself until nothing is left but a very small thin red-headed fellow. Distraught looking even in his sleep.
"Yeah, yeah, keep your feathers on. I'm on it." S-Man lands in a crouch and holds up that holographic projector again. "Next time Lyla, you stay hidden."
"As you wish… scanning now…"
"I apologize, it was not expected to happen quite like this. You have to understand I have nothing but respect for the heroes of your country, especially the Justice League. Perhaps you and I can meet later and discuss relations. " The French hero says to Hawkwoman.
"Neurotropoc virus detected. I don't have it in my databases let me check Google!" Lyla's voice sounds far too excited about that. "Lyssavirus."
"Rabies? That is still a thing here? Funny." Mig O'Hara chuckles behind his mask.
"You hear that Don Juan? Somehow your cargo contracted rabies." More harsh laughter from Spider-Man.
Pausing Pergerine juts a thumb at Spider-Man 2099, "He is uhm, how you say… a dick."

"You have a very smart mouth young man." Shayera says. Though, she finds it particularly hilarious and obviously refreshing. While some heroes had their snark talk, this man was all sass and a little bit of ass which she does happen to lean back to take a gander at as he crouches.

Nnh. Not bad.

Crouching down upon the webbing, her fingers join to keep herself upright as she watches the now young man with a slight frown, one hand releasing to reach forward to check the pulse, feeling the steady thrum-thrum of his heartbeat through locale within his wrist.

"Thank you, Peregrine.." Shayera murmurs. "Perhaps." Her words were cut off by the update upon the mans condition, which has her head shaking with an almost sadness.

"Perhaps we can discuss things at a later date. As I feel it's not safe for you to travel those miles with him unconscious. There is a hospital three clicks west of here. Take him there and ensure he's cared for." Rabies. Don't laugh, Shayera. This is serious!

A hand strikes out to give a light punch to the Not-So-Spider-Man as Shayera tries to keep a straight and stern face. She wasn't like Diana. She was ready to shit talk the man to his bones but there was someone in need of hospitalization. "I will put some of my colleagues on his door so that you can see yourself to rest. Good?" She nods towards S-Man, and the other blue 'bird' man, then slowly stands, her wings suddenly snapping from the thin air to aid in her balance.

"Spider-Man. I must debrief you." Protocol, right? Where the hell was Diana, she usually handled this shit!
"Yes, his well being was my mission." A sort of salute from Peregrine accompanied with the offering of a card for Hawkgirl, "Until we meet again, madame."
Peregrine then tucks Raptor under an arm and takes flight leaving the two American heroes behind.

Spider-Man 2099 offers a wave of one middle finger. "What a clown." A craning of his neck and S-Man is looking sidelong at Hawkgirl, "Debrief? I… wait hold on." A web line shoots out and the re wrapped and webbed burrito is snapped back towards him, "Lunch is over due." Immediately he pulls up his mask enough to expose pearly whites and sharp teeth to start eating his burrito.
"This birdwoman does not appear in any historical databases." Lyra chimes.
"Mhmm. Shut up." Spider-Man mumbles around chewing.
The card was plucked from Peregrine's fingers, tucked in and away within her top, waiting to speak until the man was clear from hearing distance. She slowly shakes her head, hands upon hips once again as she mutters a swear beneath her breath, turning with a slow movement to face the Spider-Man.. the curious gaze evident. Even as the burrito was snatched from where ever it was stashed, one eyebrow shoots up and a lip curls ever so slightly, her hand striking out to snatch a helping heap from the side of the burrito which was immediately shoved into her mouth.

Not Paco's, but a damn close second.

Lyla's words, draw a faint hint of dread as she lifts her eyes towards the stars, then back again to look upon the man with a slight cant of her head. She was aware he couldn't fly, and as she's learned during her time here, grabbing random men and stealing them away was on the big 'no-no' list.

"Yes. Debrief. Which means you are to accompany back to the Hall of Justice and give your first hand account of what you've witnessed and were involved in here. There, you shall be offered room and board.." She leans in to sniff briefly, he smelled of outdoors and burritos, "..and a shower." *SMACKSMACK*

"After you take me to go get a burrito."
"Uhmmm that sounds like a lot just for helping you sack some unclean birdbrain… oh and that rabies infected mutate." Spider-Man 2099 rubs the top of his head then points behind Hawkgirl, "Hey look that Hugh Jackman look a like just hung up a giant bird feeder!"
FWIP dive glide fwip! Spider-Man is running well brachiating through the cityscape away from her. "Well done, Miguel. Women cannot resist Hugh Jackman in this century."
"I know right? I'm not looking behind me. Did she fall for it?"
"Was that like a date you just ditched out on?"
"I didn't get those vibes no."
"I do not get vibes but she did mention a shower."
"I probably smell like that French guy now is why."
"Was he particularly odorous?"
"Shut up, Lyla."


Shayera could have given chase. But the real factoid was, she was tired. And she wanted a burrito. That was going to be that Spider-Man's ass if she ever saw him. But she does not turn, she does not flinch or lift wings in a flap to give chase. She only watches, watches until he was clear and out of sight as her hand lifts to press against the ear to signal a call through comm unit which has been placed there at the arrival of her helmet. Technology. It's a funny thing.

'Yes, Hawkgirl?'
'Shayera.' - There was a very, very tiny hint of amusement there. Just slight. Only those whom been around the Amazonian Princess could hear it.
'What if I told you that I just met a man parading around in Spider-Man's super suit?'
'His fucking super suit. With his juices and hi.. look. I'm on my way to the Hall. We need to talk. This could be a very, very serious problem. Shayera out.'

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