Laughter is The Best Medicine

August 08, 2015:

The Joker tries to let Smilex off into a hospital

New York


NPCs: None.



Mood Music: None.

Fade In…

The Joker has a plan. He often does. Well, except when he doesn't. Today though, he has a plan. It's a relatively simple plan. There are dozens of hospitals in the greater New York area. Some of them quite large. One of them has been chosen for a… special surprise today. It involves a little setup but the best jokes generally do. And he'll need Harley…

But then, when doesn't he?

The Joker presently on the roof of said hospital setting up some tanks. Attached to the ventillation systems. They're just about done. It took him an hour or two. Fairly complex. Harley in the mean time, well she needs to access the environmental controls… and turn everything on. And then the fun begins. Well, for some definitions of fun.

Sometimes there's a need for a bit of an inside job.

Enter Nurse Harley.

First, she got herself a set of scrubs and made her way in like she actually worked there, doing a little sneak-sneak-sneaking in order to infiltrate her way past the basic security station.

Second, it was on to a rather mundane bathroom stall for the transformation into said nurse, only she'd stand out a good deal by the time she painted her face up in the familiar way, humming a certain tune made famous by the Thompson Twins. Unable to help herself, she breaks out into the chorus:

"Doctor, Doctor! Can't ya see I'm burnin', burnin'?"
"Oh Doctor, Doctor! Is this love I'm feeeeeeliiiiin'?"

A giggle follows. Of course it's love! A short time after that, she skips out of the bathroom wearing her headgear, a white nurse's uniform, the sort with the short sleeves and short skirt, stockings above the knee (one red, one black), those clunky short little nurse shoes, a plain bag with one thing or another in it…and a gigantic hypodermic needle.

"Now, which way was it, again?"

Ulani has no need of Surfacer hospital but the view from the balcony of her apartment, provides her a birdseye view of the roof of said hospital. Which is how she saw the Joker not too long ago, in his preparations.

Making her way, on foot, to the Hospital, the Blue female is now climbing fire escape… she means to light on the roof with The Joker … and potentially stop whatever it is he's doing - from previous experience, the Blue Envoy, knows that it can't be good.

After what the Joker had done to her at STAR Labs, Gwen was looking for some payback before insane maniac got to her first. How fortuitous was it for her that the Joker happened to be on a rooftop of a hospital as she was swinging down the streets.

Fate or luck? She didn't care.

Tumbling through the air she fires a stream of webbing at the Joker's hand before calling out, "The jokes on you tonight."

The Joker starts as webbing hits his hand. Ulani or Gwen may notice the radio sitting on one of the banks of tanks nearby. It's on. Transmimtting to Harley, who will know that he has company soon.

Let's go through that again. Banks of tanks. Twenty or twenty five. Not small tanks either. All hooked up to the air ciculation system. And on. All of them are on. Pumping. The top floors will be affected in minutes and if Harley turns on the fans, all floors will be. Smilex… the same thing that Joker used on Gwen's father, and that Ulani's seen in action before.

On a hospital.

"Nice to see you, Spider Freak." The Joker smirks. "I was wondering if New Yorks capes were going to wait until the Joke had started. But you appear to be fashionably early." Beat. "Harl, we have company on the roof." He hasn't seen the Blue yet.

In one of Harley Quinn's ears is a small earpiece with a mic built in, keeping an open channel to the Joker up top. Even as a few orderlies in the hallway ahead spot her and begin to panic, she tsk tsk tsks.

"Aww, c'mon, boys! No need to be afraid of a lil' ol' needle!" It just happens to be that the one connected to the syringe she's toting around is better off held with two hands instead of one, and it's also filled with Smilex in more of a liquid form. Just in case, of course.

As the orderlies decide discretion is the better part of valor, Nurse Harley pouts. "Awww, when do I get to give someone a full cavity search, anyway?" she complains, while making her way toward the designated place as if she's out for a Sunday stroll. That's when she gets the heads-up from up top. "Already, Mistah J? I figured we'd have at least two more minutes without them gettin' in the way! Guess I'd better beat feet, puddin'!" She scampers along. Running with a gigantic needle is not quite the same as running with scissors, but it's close enough.

"Radiology? Naaah. ICU? Maybe later. Ooh, cafe! Definitely later! Gynecology, haha! Ahh, there we go!" She skids to a stop at the door she wants, more of a subtle one for staff, and as she puts on the brakes she slips and lands right on her keister, the syringe clattering to the floor unbroken. "Ain't nobody seen that, ya hear?!" Scrambling back to her feet, she reaches for the handle.

Ulani is… fit, and climbing hasn't taken her that long. Pausing at the top of the fire escape, behind The Joker, facing Gwen… the Blue assesses the tableau before stepping onto the roof, as quietly as possible.

Trying to catch Gwens eye, she assesses the tanks working out whether she can turn them off… Learning from the last time, this man is tricky and his toxins have a dreadful way of morphing - she's not shooting anything yet.

Gwen didn't acknowledge Ulani so she didn't give the other woman away and pocket dialled her cell phone to 911, while getting the Joker to talk, "Really? Smilex at Memorial Hospital, that's pretty lame even for you. This place can be evacuated fast, before you even release the gas." Hopefully the 911 Operator took the hint and Joker kept talking.

"Unless the gas is already leaking in." The Joker's hand is still webbed but he's got one free. Oddly, for him, he doesn't go for a weapon. He also hasn't seen Ulani, still. Gwen didn't give her away.

"Leaking, going through the vents. Hissing. Making everything oh so funny. Oh so light and airy. Hospitals are too serious anyway. All full of charts and paperwork and people crying." He pats one of the tanks with his free hand. The valve is open. Gwen can hear the hissing with her enhanced senses.

And then the laughter starts. Right now it's confined to the upper floors. And it starts quiet. The fans haven't engaged yet. But they're about to, well if Harley does it and gets up to help in a hurry. Otherwise Mister J might be in for a bit of the punch up.

The data for the 911 operator is chilling. Police can respond but if Smilex is already in the air…

The door opens. Success! Nurse Harley leaves the Smilex syringe in the hallway in the interest of getting down to brass tacks, namely flipping the switch to start circulating all that gas through the hospital. "How's it goin' up there?" she asks her partner in crime. "I'm in, and whoever said a laugh a day keeps the doctor away never met us!" Fingers do the walking over a few different panels and readouts, then: "Aha!"

The sound of the fans kicking in up on the rooftop indicate mission accomplished, at least so far. "Ya hear that?" she asks The Joker through the radio communications, before skipping back out into the hallway. By now word has spread that The Joker and Harley Quinn are there, and those around her are rushing for the main doors, side doors, emergency exits, basically any way out. "Awww, stick around! The fun's just starting! We've got smiles for you, and you, and you, and you! Everybody gets a smile! Eat your heart out, Oprah!"

Since The Joker might actually need her help, Harley Quinn now looks for the closest stairway to climb.

Valves… and Ulani's close enough to hear the hissing herself. Moving as quietly as possible, she'll start to try and turn the valves off, working as quickly as possible to limit the damage - then maybe address the laughter below.

Feeling the ~~thrum~~ of the fans that start, through the soles of her feet, she hastens her movements, leaving the white faced man for the other young woman to deal with.

Meanwhile in Gotham.

Misfit has a jewelry store robber by his neck and is leaning in and growling at him "You are done!" yeah growling, what the hell Misfit.

Oracle <Misfit, New York Hospital Joker and Harley sighting> and the text starts to roll in the corner of the young woman's orange goggles.

Misfit lets go of the robber, vanishing with a slash of smoke, and reappears behind him at head height with a solid kick to the back of the head delivered with a snarl, even as she affixes a batmask over her mouth before she hits the ground.

There is a slash of pink and purple smoke behind Harley Quinn and a thump as Misfit's boots hit hospital floor. "You!" oh yeah she sounds angry… still… christ it has been months.

Gwen leaps on top of the fan intakes and begins firing enough webbing in to gunk them up for several hours; it would definitely prevent filtration through the building and the circulation of the virus.

She had once used a similar trick breaking into one of Dr. Dooms labs with the Fantastic Four!

"Do us both a favor, give yourself up before I have to really hurt you Joker."

The Fans… well… that was a weak spot in the plan. No fans means the circulation starts briefly and then goes back to flat. Which means only the top floors will be affacted, until Ulani closes off the valves anyway. Which means most of the people there will only get a slight whiff of smilex… pity.

The top floors start to errupt in violence. Right above Misfit and Harley. Nurses and doctors fighting. Patients fighting. The lowered inhibitions and high frustrations mean… well… that's gonna get ugly. And the Joker's grinning.

Which isn't to say that he's not upset. "Ah ah ah!" As Gwen leaps the Joker produces a knife and throws it at Ulani to keep her away from the valves. Or rather drive her away. And then he has a gun. A very automatic one. Which he fires at Gwen. Odd how he spent so much time trying to put the assembly togehter and has no problems just letting automatic fire rip around it.

Harley Quinn's only a few steps up from the doors back to the main floor when none other than Misfit appears right next to them, right as one is shutting. "Huhwhatwhozit?" Turning around, the Clown Princess of Crime's eyes narrow behind the familiar visage and jester's garb from the neck up, her white nurse's outfit still pristine.

"Oh, it's you. Mistah J, I got a little problem to take care of before I can join ya. It's one of the Bat-Brats, the crazy one." Which doesn't really narrow it down as far as they're concerned.

"I was wonderin' if somebody was gonna show up or not. Ya hear that upstairs? Sounds like buddies of yours!" Harley taunts, dropping into a slight crouch. "Howzabout we dance? After we do the lambada, I'll give ya a ride over to Arkham. Trust me, you'll love it there! Maybe Bats will even bust ya out. Wouldn't that be ironic?" Leaping off the hand railing, she strikes with a kick meant for the side of Misfit's head. "Ninja Nurse Harley, activate! Hiiiyaaa!"

Ulani hops back from the valve as the knife comes spinning towards, glancing across her shoulder and leaving a gash. As the Joker fires, the Blue female levels a hand, aiming for the weapon, and lets the beam for her bracelet weapon fire —- trying to stop any damage it might cause.

The young woman's eyes widen behind her goggles "I am not crazy and you ar the one going to Arkham!" she is positive Harley remembers he tricks from the last fight, but still she bounces away from the kick aimed at her head >pinkurrrrple>.

The chaosmuppet reappers instantly with another slash of pink smoke off to the side, not the back aiming her own ninja kick from head height "Dark vengeance!" hssssSSs.

Gwen seems to get shot by the automatic weapons fire despite her acrobatics and she screams and she falls down behind one of the tanks. Silence.

Huh. The Joker hadn't expected to hit. The Spider Freak has proven unusually adept at dodging in the past. "Bit of an anti-climax." He notes as he turns to Ulani, turning that weapon on her. And then his weapon is knocked away by the beam. "Well. That's a bit more like it. Wonder Girl? No. Miracle… Marvel… ah whatever." Another knife makes its way into his hands and the Joker leaps over the tanks, clattering one to the ground in the process, to get to Ulani. He assumes Gwen is down. "Take your time Harley."

"Pffft. Heard that before! Try something more original than that!" Harley scoffs at the Arkham threat, even as her kick passes through air now that Misfit's not there. She does have a memory or two of the other one's tactics, and she's already ducking to roll away as her opponent shows up in another spot.

Harley goes upright again. "I can see you ain't a lambada girl. How about the macarena instead?" She actually starts to dance it, making up a bunch of gibberish before bellowing, "HEEEEY MACARENA!" It results in her forgetting to respond with another attack.

Well with the dance number Misfit actually pauses a moment cocking her head. What the hell is a Macarena… Right anyhow she fishes both hands down across her belt and then flick flick flick hurls three batarangs staggering them at the target …. the target in the clown nurse costume that is. "Hold still" man she is one to talk.

While the batarangs are still in the air she vanishes with a bounce >pinkurple> and appears where she is trying to drive Harley to dodge with her batarangs, fist flying right at the other girl's face is this works.

Ulani gets the chance to let off one more shot from her bracelet before The Joker is on her with that knife. Stepping into his reach, bringing her arm up, she sweeps the arm holding the knife away, turns on the balls of her feet and jams her elbow into the Jokers solar plexus…

Gwen had used the facade of going down in order to slip into the hospital and start restraining those already infected with smilex. If someone didn't, they would kill themselves or others probably. She hoped Ulani could handle the Joker, but someone had to handle this.

The Joker takes the elbow to the gut… and well, Ulani isn't a normal woman. The blow pitches him back and off the roof. By the time anyone's able to look he's nowhere in sight.


Well, probably not. New York isn't that lucky. That does leave Ulani free to shut down the gas though and with Gwen already inside dealing with the patients and staff, casualties should be minimized.

Meanwhile, Harley has no real idea what's going on up top and she's got a bit of a problem of her own right now. Eyes widen behind the domino mask and as she moves to avoid the batarangs, it leads her right into the fist from Misfit. "Ow!" A trickle of blood shows at the corner of her mouth, and she does not look happy.

"I'll have you know you're a terrible dance partner! I hope you try out for Dancing With The Stars someday, because I will vote as many times as I can to have you kicked off!" She wipes her mouth with the back of a hand, glaring. Angry clown!

Harley Quinn has left herself without any toys to play with. Even her loot bag must have fallen off back in the hallway where the giant syringe was. "Mistah J? Hey, are ya listenin'? Come in!" She pats the side of her head where the earpiece is tucked beneath her headgear, frowning as she aims almost a half-hearted sweep kick at Misfit's legs.

There is this feral sort of rumbling growl from the Misfit-Bat as she dances back from the kick "That the best you got Harrrrrley." yeah definitely a growl. Crap did the Chaosmuppet get rabies. Maybe it is the blood in the air, but crap which is more disturbing of a thought. She vanishes with a bounce of smoke and is on her left side, and flicks a small rock at her while she is worrying her headgear. Chaosrune, Unluck Stone. "Boo"

As The Joker topples over the building, Ulani is knocked off balance for a moment… When she recovers she does indeed turn off the gas… Hearing Harley's questions, the Blue female tries to find the transmitter but fails… Given Gwen's inside, Ulani's going to go search for The Jokers body.

"You should really smile more often," Harley grumbles at Misfit. "I can help ya with that sometime, but right now I'm thinkin' ya ain't worth it." The fact The Joker is not responding strikes her as a more important thing to deal with right now, and alarms are starting to go off around the building in light of the trouble they've caused.

The rock hits off one of the jester-like extensions, and she kicks. "Stop the teleporting thing already! I'm so outta here!" She rushes back out into the hallway, and there's the bag of tricks. Making a dive for it, she intends to spread a few smoke bombs in the immediate area to cover a retreat.

Misfit watches as the chaos rune connects with her jester-like extension and discharges. There is this feral crooked smile, showing one tooth. "I am smiling…" of course the chaos magic in that UnLuck stone is going to plague Harley for a while making her.. very unlucky. "You have fun trying to escape now." she calls after her and then teleports up with a bounce to make sure the patients are helped.

Harley Quinn offers Misfit a very rude gesture before turning to push open one of the side doors…only to end up smacking into it because it opens into the hallway, not from it. She holds her nose, making sure she didn't bloody that up (she didn't), and she much more carefully exits the hospital after slipping again, this time on some spilled water. One thing the bad luck doesn't affect is her finding The Joker in a trash heap. "Puddin'!" she exclaims, fishing him out fast as she can before pulling up the nearest manhole cover to flee into the sewers with him. Naturally, she loses her footing on the way down the ladder, and his fall is cushioned…by her. The last thing she says before making off with him is, "This is not my day."

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