August 01, 2015:
When Fitz is sent home to recover from his ordeal, Felicity is the first to visit him.
Fitz's Apartment - Upper West Side, Manhattan
Characters
NPCs: None.
Mentions:
Plot:
Mood Music: Things Happen by Dawes
Fade In…
After since Felicity heard about Fitz's injury, she has been on edge. Ever since her last meeting with Fitz's boss, Agent May, she has not been back to the Triskelion. Fitz has been under lockdown until deemed fit for release. The blonde hacker rushed over when she finally gets word from Fitz that he's home and she can see him.
Immediately, there is a few raps on the door from Felicity. She's brought a few things with her in a bag - things she hopes will help make Fitz feel better and relaxes. Nervously, she wrings her hands, thinking the worst.
*
There's no sign that Fitz has encountered any injury when he answers the door; the bandage around his arm is concealed by his shirt. However, there's something different about him. It's in the eyes. Though he's smiling when he opens the door, his eyes seem tired, perhaps even haunted.
"Hello, Felicity," he starts to say.
*
As soon as the door is open, Felicity springs forward, moving to wrap her arms around his neck. Though she can't help herself, there are tears in her eyes. Finally seeing him again after worrying for days after his state is enough to start the waterworks. "Leo!" she gasps. Her bag jumps up and smacks against her back again. It seems she brought quite a few things to try and make him feel better. Though her grip is at first very tight, she quickly pulls back, not knowing where he was shot or what happened. She doesn't want to hurt him.
"I'm sorry. I hope I didn't hurt you. I just…they didn't give me any information and I couldn't see you and…" She takes a deep breath, trying to not come off as the hysterical girlfriend. She already had one call about a boyfriend locked in a jail who killed himself. Hearing that Fitz was shot on a mission was horrble for her. "I brought soup and aspirin with codeine, and also the scotch you brought me. And movies. Also, a few video games. I wasn't sure what you help you relax, so I just brought everything."
*
Leo does wince, for the hug agitates his wound. "Um…. ow." A pause, and a smile. "Don't worry, I have the best pain killers. And -" He grows silent, and quietly sighs, both out of happiness to see her and a looming dread at the impending need to explain it all.
"I'm… I'm sorry, I know it's been hard, not hearing from me." What else could he really say? They hadn't discussed what would happen in a situation like this… so, he just turns and motions. "Don't just stand there, anyway, come on in." He turns to follow her, scratching his head, awkwardly.
*
"Sorry," Felicity winces in sympathy pain, quickly pulling away. She was just so happy to see him in what looked like being mostly okay. Moving inside, she gently places her heavy bag down. There's some delicate things in there.
"I was so worried," she admits. "I've just…" she frowns, wiping at her face - angry that she can't stop the slow flow of tears. "I knew someone who…died. In prison. He shouldn't have been there and they wouldn't let me see him or anything. I didn't know about it until he was already buried. I just…" she worried that it had happened all over again. "I'm just glad…" she takes a deep breath, shaking her head. "Are you okay?"
*
"Well, it's nothing like prison," answers Leo, not really considering just how insensitive a remark like that might be. "So, don't worry about that. Things happen in the field, and there are certain rules, protocols, you know. Procedure stuff."
Fitz is not entirely being himself. He seems tired, perhaps even a bit withdrawn. "I'm -" A pause. "I'm fine. Not my first gunshot wound, in fact. Not that they're ever fun. In fact, I really hope it never happens again. But there was a bomb, and it had to be disarmed, and I was the only one qualified and…"
Suddenly, he drifts off, and develops a thousand yard stare.
*
Felicity frowns, quickly able to tell that Fitz is not acting like himself. "You don't sound like you're fine." She doesn't know what he's been through before, but she knows what he's acting like now. "Sit down," she says when he drifts off, worried and not about to take no for an answer.
"What happened?" Maybe it's not protocol for him to tell her, but it sounds like he needs to talk about it. She's trying tomake it obvious that she's here to listen. She glances about. "Do you have glasses? See, I knew I brought that scotch for a reason."
*
It takes a moment, but after a fluttering of blinks, Leo comes back to the moment. "Huh? Oh. Okay." He claims a spot on the couch, but her question about glasses goes unanswered.
"I don't know. Simmons is still trying to make sense of it but, something… attacked me. After the bomb was defused. She thinks it was some kind of symbiote. But it… showed me things."
He stops there, and his frame shudders. He closes his eyes tight, and his fingers grasp at his pants, knuckles going white.
*
Felicity has moved into 'take care' mode. Moving into the kitchen, she finds two mugs. They don't have to be special, they merely have to hold scotch. Then, she's back to the couch. Setting the mugs on the table, she pulls out the bottle of scotch and pours two fingers into each mug.
She's listening to Fitz as he talks, though, frowning as she does so. Something has badly jarred him and he needs her help. She's here to try whatever she can. She takes one of the mugs and holds it out to Fitz, gently attempting to take his non-injured hand away from gripping his pants and put it around the pro-offered mug.
"The bomb was a symbiote?" She asks this softly, trying not to pry. "What…what did it show you?"
*
"No, uh, the bomb was nerve gas." Looking down at his hand,Fitz allows it to be placed on the mug. There's a moment where he worries about drinking the scotch, but no… he's not given to things like that. So, he lifts it and sips, feeling a bit more at peace. It reminds him of home.
"It showed me… it showed me death. Murder. Hatred…" A long pause. "R… rape… blood… really, really bad stuff. It was like… like I was living it."
Tears well up in his eyes, and he lifts the mug for another drink, his hand trembling just so.
*
"Nerve gas?" Trying not to think of that, Felicity takes a deep breath. Fitz is obviously rattled and the last thing he needs is for her to freak out. But, the freak out is building, just beneath the surface. At least he took the mug of scotch. That's a start.
"But, you weren't." Felicity reaches out tentatively to put a hand on his thigh. They're sitting close together, opposite of each other. While they are close, they haven't yet touched much, other than this. "You wouldn't do that, Leo." Her other hand reaches out to touch his cheek. She doesn't really need the scotch - it's for him to calm his nerves. She'll drink it later if necessary. If not, she'll give him her cup. "It was whatever it was that got a hold of you."
*
"I know that," he answers, turning to look at Felicity with an appreciative smile. "It was just, so real. SHIELD released me, but they have me on probation, pending a full evaluation. They've bloody sidelined me, til I can… sort this out."
He sighs deeply, and sets the scotch aside for a moment. There is a pause, but then, he reaches for her hands and pulls her closer.
*
Unable to know how best to help Fitz, Felicity can only be as supportive as she can. Squeezing his leg, she looks up at him. "It's effected you, Leo. And it's good that it did. If it didn't, that would have been worse." She's trying to help as best she can.
As he sets the scotch aside and pulls her closer, she does not fight at all. Easily, she slides closer to him, attempting to make sure that she doesn't hurt his injury. "And, if you're sidelined, maybe we can just stay here for a few days. Order in. Finish that bottle of scotch."
*
Fitz draws her closer, embracing Felicity for a few moments and simply being quiet, accepting the comfort that is there. Finally, he lets out a heavy sigh and his body grows less tense. "Yeah," he admits. "I think that sounds nice."
Closing his eyes, the ruddy little Scot bends his head and rests it upon Felicity's shoulder, finding more comfort there. "I like that you call me Leo," he says. Everyone at work uses his last name. It's a SHIELD thing… this, however, is not.
*
Easily, Felicity wraps her arms around Fitz and rests her head against him. She's attempting to do so as gently as possible as to not jar his injured arm. "I think it could be," she beams. She knows it's going to be a slow going thing, but she's trying here.
Felicity tilts her head against Fitz as he rests his head against her shoulder. "You are Leo. I know you told me to call you Fitz, but that seems too impersonal. And we're not impresonal." Certainly not any more. There's a bit of a smile in her voice as she speaks about that.
*
"Not anymore," Fitz agrees. There is the phantom of a smile on his face as well, when he raises his eyes to look at her, but something far deeper is taking place.
Leopold Fitz can be a stubborn man. However, he wields the self awareness to be quite sure that right now, he needs to not be stubborn. He needs her; Felicity can offer him things that no one else can. He doesn't know this with certainty, but he desires to know.
"I think I'd like to be personal again," he admits, though the words are not spoken playfully. There is a need in his face, one he hopes won't frighten her or make her uncomfortable, but… the need is there, and he can't avoid it, lest she cut it with a knife and set him loose.
*
"No, certainly not any more," Felicity gives a half smile to Fitz. She tilts her head upward at his intensity and matches his gaze.
She's not quite sure how to take his confession. It's nice to feel wanted, but this sudden change in Fitz's demeanor has worried her. The need is not so much what offsets her, but his previous actions and words. More than willing to help Fitz, she pushes herself up just slightly from him to be able to look him in the eye. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"
It's not a denial. She's not pulling away, she's just studying him. He's been through quite a lot lately and she doesn't want to take the easy way out with him. This is not her being uncomfortable, it's her sussing out the waters.
*
"I…" Leo hesitates. "I don't know, 'Liss. I'm…" He's conflicted. He is not himself, and he knows the dangers that come with giving freedom to emotions that may not yet be ready for investment.
The intensity remains for a moment longer, before he allows a deep sigh and allows the moment to slip away.
"No. I'm not sure that's a good idea." He blinks rapidly. "I mean, sleeping with you is a splendid idea, but… not… you know, I mean, yes, we can do that, but I dunnae if we should do that."
God. Hopefully she can decipher what he means.
*
Felicity looks at Fitz for a moment, studying him and blushing a light shade of pink. "No, sorry, that's me. I never…I'm so terrible at this." She looks down, realizing she's blown things. That there was a moment here and that she's completely ruined it. "I always do this. I just say whatever's at the top of my head that doesn't mean anything and I say it. And that's not what you need. You don't need someone whose ideas are about the bottom as well as on top." Dammit, she's doing it again. "I mean, you now, this. What I'm doing now." The blush deepens.
At the stuttering and the blinking, she smiles, not settling back down onto him just yet. She takes a few deep breaths, trying to get back to what she was saying before. "Look, before I start stuttering again and ruining everything, you mean…you mean so much to me. And I…l-" she looks up at him, not finishing her statement, blushing just as hard.
*
Felicity's stammering is a blessing in disguise, for what Leo really needs is something to get his mind off everything else. Eventually, he finds himself smiling, entertained, until she grows serious. The smile is softened, and he looks into her eyes, grateful for everything she is right now. The silence lingers for a few seconds, but it's eventually broken. "You…"
Eyes widen, and he's struck with that kind of fear that is both terrifying and exhilarating.
"You…" Beat. "Don't say another word." He's only half serious, but before there's time for any retort, the man grabs her by the shoulders and playfully pushes her down into the sofa's plushy seats before kissing her. Bottom it is.
*
Felicity is quite good at distractions. She tends to offer them often when they are not needed as well as when they are. There's only so much she can offer and do for Fitz, and honesty right now seems the best, even if she can't actually get the words out properly - or at all. Instead, she blushes again, embarrassed. At the first 'you' she opens her mouth to speak, but he stops her.
Her mouth closes again and she looks questioningly at Fitz, worried and more emotional than she intended. She didn't mean to blurt out said emotions, it just happened. As he grabs her by the shoulders she gasps just a moment and then smiles. She wraps her arms delicately around his shoulders and kisses him back, honoring his request to not say anything.
*
After a few moments of downright snogging, Fitz finally comes up for air. He straightens Felicity's glasses with a coy smirk, then winces a bit at the gunshot wound.
"Okay, you can talk now." He grins a bit, then seems to consider something. "That's not, of course you can talk whether you want, I'm not that kind of bloke, but it came out a bit too Fifty Shades for me. I don't want you to think I'm about to go for the bucket and lotion, cause… that would make me a serial killer and I promise, I'm not."
*
As Felicity smiles, arms wrapped gently around Fitz's neck, she shakes her head. "See, I wasn't worried you were a serial killer before, but now I am. I'll be checking around for buckets and lotion." That's teasing, again. She had her serious moment and now that has passed. She attempted to say what she was feeling. The ball is in Fitz's court.
"Plus, it's pretty hard to get me to stop talking if I want to talk. It's part of my thing." She's a chatterbox. That's just what she does. "And, don't worry, I don't think you're Leopold Grey. that's his last name right? Though, you know, you do wear ties and I think that's a thing he does. So, I'm just saying."
*
"I also carry zipties and rope in my man-bag," Fitz jokes, before righting himself and taking Felicity's hands in his own.
"It's alright," he tells her, mood softening evenly. "I'm scared, too."
*
"Oh do you? Continued reasons not to trust you," Felicity grins. "The last thing I need is to be randomly zip tied." The teasing continues. Her fingers intertwine with Fitz's, looking that their hands rather than up at him.
"Scared?" She pauses, taking a breath. "Why are you scared?"
*
"Same reason you're scared," Fitz answers. "Same reason why you couldn't say what you wanted to say. Don't worry. I'm not… sad, or mad, or disappointed, I just…" He pulls her hands a bit closer to his body. "I don't want to lose you."
Pulling Felicity to her feet, he smiles. "Forget the scotch. Let's just go sleep. We can stammer all over ourselves in the morning."