Making New York Laugh

July 05, 2015:

The Joker and Harley Catch up and Plot (new Harley player)

New York Sewers

The Joker's Sewer Hideout. They all tend to look the same after a while

Characters

NPCs: Lou and Bud, Heyenas

Mentions:

Mood Music: [*\# None.]


Fade In…

The Joker's sewer hideouts eventually all start looking the same. They pile full of guns and maps and ammunition and gasoline and explosives and chemicals and… joy buzzers. It's the Joker, what do you expect? The primary difference between the usual hideouts and these ones is the fact that this one is in New York. There's a few cronies headed in and out but at the moment the Clown Prince is leaning over a table, playing with a switchblade and studying what looks to be a map of the New York municipal water system.

.

One sewer after another. Honestly, if she didn't like him so much, Harley Quinn might complain about the quality of the hideouts. What grumbling that's taken place has been kept to herself. Mostly, anyway. There was the time she griped to one of their henchmen about the rats being bigger than the ones in Gotham City, going so far as to smash one with her oversized mallet, and by the time The Joker returned he found the body of that henchman just inside the entrance, one of those Joker smiles permanently showing even with part of his body already eaten by the rats. The excuse? She told him the guy was upset about the hideout. Apparently only she gets to have an opinion on that.

Now it's been a few days since the body was disposed of or otherwise finished off by the vermin, and Harley's arrival can be heard long before she's seen.

"I wanna beeeeee a part of it! New York, New Yorrrrrrk!"

Sung, naturally, a little off-key and in a way only Harley can do it. Coming into view, she's twirling her mallet as if it was a cane before it's tossed aside so she can cartwheel her way over to a halt in front of the table. "Well, if it ain't good ol' Mistah J! Take a look at what I picked up after doin' a little shoppin' today!" She shows off by striking a couple model's poses, gesturing toward her neck. Around it is an expensive-looking diamond necklace. "It was on sale! Wanna guess how much I paid? Free-Ninety-Nine!" She happens to be in a very familiar costume, as well, one she hasn't worn in some time.

.

The Joker turns to look, a sharp grin creasing his elogated featers as he walks on over. "Suits you Harley." He says as he walks on over to get a better look. Yes, quite nice. Be a shame to dirty it up here. And then that thougths gone. "So that's all the trouble I heard with the police today. I thought maybe someone was horning in on my action. How's it been? Everything going to plan?"

.

"Aww, I'm glad ya think so!" Harley coos, planting her gloved hands at her hips as she models further for him, flashing a gigantic smile that also shows off those pearly whites. "Ya know what they say: diamonds are a girl's best friend! Whoever came up with that never met you, though." Once the attention's passed, she pretty much prances over to plop that backside of hers down on the edge of the table, making a show of leaning over to peer at the map. "I gave the cops the slip long before coming back, so you don't have ta worry about them. Other than that, nothin' new here. Just enjoying taking our act on the road for a new crowd."

.

"Gotham was getting to stifling. And the Bat was being even less fun than usual." Despite his dismissive tone the Joker clearly does want the Bat to come out and play. Though he'd gotten a good Bat substitute recently. Harley's met her. Agent Melinda May. "Say…. care for some mayhem?" He says it with a gleam in his eye. The way others might suggest a night out. Or a night in.

"Those Joker Venom variants you helped me make, we've sprung five of them so far and I'm enjoying making the police run around and try to cure them but… why should I have all the fun?"

.

Harley Quinn offers a raspberry, and not the kind you eat. "Since when did B-Man have a sense of humor? I can't remember a time he /ever/ smiled when he was hauling me off to Arkham. Not one single joke ever got so much as a tiny little grin. Maybe I need new material. Whaddaya think of this one? 'What's the dumbest animal in the jungle? The polar bear!'"

Naturally, Harley almost falls off the table with her own laughter, coughing a few times as she regains control of herself. "Wait, wait, try this. 'Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere!'" Cue another round of the giggles as she waves her hand at the air a few times, growing more serious for once. "Mayhem? Is that the new Broadway show? Oooh, any fun stories about the new stuff?"

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The Joker shakes a vial near him on the table. "This one made a bunch of spiders go nuts. Which was fun, until some cape-spiders showed up to spoil it." He shrugs. "I think it may have mutated one of them or something." He's not real concrned. Though that does make him grin as he thinks of something else. "Ah yes, there is a woman-spider who's taken a dislike to me. She's been a lot of fun to tweak. Maybe you should go look her up at some point. Been making friends. Like the Punisher."

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Harley Quinn pouts when her bad jokes go ignored, leading to her crossing her arms and frowning for a matter of seconds. "I never did like spiders all that much," she informs, though she listens well to his talk of some she-spider out there getting all buddy-buddy with a guy like that. "Oh, he's trouble, but I kinda admire his arsenal. He's got good taste in guns, I'll give him that much."

.

"I was tempted to try and get one for you but… you seem to prefer to do your own shopping." The Joker grins. "So, how's the girls? Catsy and Ivy still need a sense of h-" Before he can get any further than that there's the sound of scrabbling and a pair of bloodthirsty hayenas bolts around a corner and leaps for Harl. Damn things always seem to like her more.

.

"If you wanna go out shopping together sometime, I'm all for it!" Harley answers enthusiastically. "Usually it's just banks, but I'd love ta knock off the Disney Store one of these days!" At the question of the other two Gotham Girls, she begins to roll her eyes and say something only to be accosted by the hyenas such that they knock her off the table and pile atop her. All that can be seen and heard is a mass of red and black arms and legs flailing, along with a few 'Buds' and 'Lous' and 'Getitoff!' The price for being their favorites.

.

The Joker folds his arms and snickers. Anyone else might say its cute. Its just as likely the Clown Prince found her being knocked on her ass amusing. He'd help but, nah. Too funny. "Seems like they know when the joke's up. They've been very naughty. Biting people and running around. You should discipline them." Which is itself a joke. Biting people is what he keeps them for. Well, and terrifying people.

"New look there Harl? I don't think I've seen you in the old motley in a while."

.

For a moment he can see Harley's head pop up, much like someone coming up for air in the midst of trying not to drown. Then she's under again, the hyenas making a show of licking and pawing at her all the while. Finally it's over and they scamper off a few feet, leaving her looking disheveled enough that her headgear is askew, a bit of blonde hair seen, and one glove has managed to come off. "That was almost as good as the last time we had in bed," she informs him, trying and failing to look somehow dignified.

"Discipline them? Shyeah right." She's reaching for that glove, tucking her hair back in place and generally making the costume look proper once more. "Sometimes ya gotta go with the classics. I felt like goin' back ta the early days. Ya like it?"

.

"Definitely." That sharp smile appears again. "And especially now. Gotta let the people of New York know who they're dealing with. They can be so very… thick." The Clown Prince of Gotham shakes his head. Muggles. Or… meat sacks. Whatever you want to call them. "You'll knock 'em dead in that." Literally, most likely. Harley has a way with hammers.

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Hammers and a variety of other things, it's true. Finally getting back to her feet and making a show of dusting herself off, Harley Quinn sticks her tongue out at The Joker, her form of retaliation for the time being. "It'll make it easier for 'em to recognize me from the old mugshots. The nurse? Nah, not for this, even if some of 'em are gonna need one afterward." She circles him once, and offers up a finger to tap lightly against his nose before trailing it down his lips to his chin. "Remember, I'm a Brooklyn gal. I know these people and they ain't like Gothamites. There's no Batbrain to wait around for, not unless he decides to follow us around."

.

"Well one can only hope." The Joker smirks as Harley circles him, reaching out to brush his hand on hers. "But if he doesn't there's plenty of substitutes. One very entertaining one… mmm… say. How do you feel about sticking it to the man? I know a real good way to give folks a good laugh. Run a real circus act. We'll need some prep though… and a lot of explosives."

.

Harley Quinn turns her hand to take his, or vice versa depending on who's first with it, then she spins in place, a single circle as if she's going to dance. Instead of that, she lets go and makes her way back to give the pair of hyenas good scritchings between the ears, which leads to both of them promptly drooling. "One entertaining one? Not that boring Agent May, is it?" She rolls her eyes once again, showing what she thinks of /that/ woman. The smile returns. "You know me. I'm always up for making the man bend over and giving it to him. A real circus? Like, one with lions and tigers and the tiny little clown car and The Flying Graysons and…well, maybe not The Flying Graysons. That act kind of came to a crashing halt."

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"They were a bunch of Dicks anyway." The Joker smirks. "Yes. Lions and tigers and clown cars. We'll have to go get a few of each. And I know a good place to do it…" He spins Harley a couple of times and lets her hand go, bowing like a flamenco dancer. A flourish. He liks flourishes. "Mmmm. Yes… prep. Well, sounds like we have our choice of acts. What do you figure the New York audience here wants?"

.

Harley Quinn doubles over in laughter at the Grayson joke, even if it might not be /that/ funny. "What place is that?" she questions, still giving good lovin' to Bud and Lou as puddles form at their paws. "I think they'll go crazy for big explosions or a little cops and robbers, minus the cops. Wouldn't that be a real gas?"

.

"Know some folks who deal in animals. The same kind where we… adopted Bud and Lou." He's talking about a Zoo heist of course. The cuddle widdle animals, doped on on Smilex with explosive collars… should make for quite the entertainment for the cops. Harley knows how Joker thinks so that shouldn't be too far a stretch. "And then of course there's twenty shades of Joker, as we've been playing." Poisoning the city with his drugs.

.

"Awww yeah, /that/ place! We should go back and thank them for our babies!" Harley lets up on Bud and Lou, lest they start to turn the hideout into an underground pool. "Twenty Shades of Joker? I'd rather read that than Fifty Shades of Rachel Grey, if ya been readin' the news lately. You think any of that weirdness is gonna reach us at all?"

.

"Unless we reach it first. New York's particular brand seems a bit more outlandish than Gotham's." And given that Gotham's champion is a man in a bat suit who runs around with a bunch of kids fighting a couple of clowns, that's saying something. "Well, we'd beter get started then if we're gonna actually put any of these shows on."

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Harley Quinn sniffs. "You can say that again, and we've got it all back home." At the mention of working on plans, she pulls up a chair then grabs pen and paper to begin drawing up a few ideas, including various titles and so on. "We can't forget the carnival games, but they ain't gonna like some of the prizes. Oh! You should see some of the bums I passed coming back from my shopping. They'd make some /great/ carnies…"

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