Deadpool Doodle Dandy

June 20, 2015:

Master Chief and Phoenix Jr. save Yankee Stadium.

Yankee Stadium

Located in South Bronx, Yankee Stadium is the home of the New York Yankees. In it's present incarnation it is a full, modern sports arena capable of holding about 50,000 sports fans (though this varies depending on the configuration and sport being hosted). This stadium opened in 2009, replacing the previous one which had been completed in 1923.

Characters

NPCs: Joe

Mentions:

Mood Music: [*\# None.]


Fade In…

"Take me out to the ball game," a gloved red hand twists a little yellow wire, "take me out with the crowd," it is tied around a white wire with light blue spirals. "Buy me some peanuts and crackerjacks, I don't care if I never get back." The hand reaches into a old school toolbox, red with a stainless steel handle, and fishes out some needle nose players, black with yellow trim. "Le me root, root, root, for the visiting team. If they don't win it's a shame."

Deadpool cuts a wire, and threads it into a control box. "Aah. For it's one, two, three strikes you're out, at the old ball game." Then he closes up that detonator and makes his way, stepping over a security guard, really a rent-a-cop, who's got duct tape over his mouth, with a smile drawn in magic marker, and he's bound, hog tied, with zap straps.

"Excuse me" he says as he walks by, heading to the next detonator. "All I need is just one chance," he picks up a bat, wood, like the greats used. He picks up a ball, tossing it into the air, and sending it flying with a swing of the bat. "I could hit a home run!" And he does. The ball goes sailing over the stadium's walls. "There isn't anyone else like me, and boy is that the truth." His singing stopped for a moment there.

"Maybe I'll go down in history," back to the lilting singing voice, "and it's root, root, root, for the visiting team, here comes fortune and fame." Kneeling down, he drops the bat, and begins working on the wires for another explosive. "'cause I know, that I'll be the star, at the old, ball, game!"


Rachel had been troubled by nightmares when she slept, this was nothing new for her; nightmares came to her as frequently as sleep came to others.

The different about this nightmare was that it was based in the present, the here and now. She had dreamed about a masked man destroying Yankee Stadium and killing thousands.

In that dream, she had been aided by another masked man she knew only as 'Spearhead'; a vigilante and 'corrupt' cop, the one who had helped to rescue her Uncle Alex Summers aka Havok from The Dark Sisterhood.

Spearhead would have had the dream to. Perhaps a side effect of her powerful psionic powers.

Instead of turning to others for help, she went alone to Yankee Stadium; hoping her nightmare was not a premonition or a possible future that could occur.

Walking through the crowd, she was searching out with her powers looking for mutants and metahumans; identifying them before moving on.

She was dressed rather inconspicuously in a pair of leather boots, tight fitting jeans and a hooded sweater with a matching Yankees cap pulled over her head.

While searching for muants and metas, she touched upon the mind of Spearhead, communicating to him, "~Spearhead. Did you have the dream as well?~"


Spearhead finishes fastening his helmet on as he responds, "~Yeah, I was hoping that I was just being Paranoid, but, seeing as to how you're reaching me, I'm gonna guess all is not well…~" And with that, he makes for the stadium. When he arrives, he enters through a staff entrance that seems deserted.


The staff entrance was deserted because someone, with a wicked sense of humour, or a cruel one, the jury's still out on that one, but someone went around, locked up all the people he could find, and stuffed them into somebody's Mini Cooper. They were all tied up, gagged, but when the police found them, it'd be like unloading a clown car. He managed to get 27 people in there. And he was even nice enough to give them water bottles. Sure, he gagged them, bound their hands, but he gave them water, and he left the sunroof open, plus the windows were cranked. He's not cruel or anything.

The one on the field was a going to be number 28, though Wade wasn't sure how he was going to manage that. As for the crowd, well, it seems he missed a tour group. Their tour guide, an Asian woman, walked the same way she drove, so she managed to go through the stadium without noticing that it was empty. Looking at her, Deadpool says too quietly for her to hear. He doesn't want to startle them. It'd make rounding them up so much harder. But he does comment, "lady, you gotta invest in some thicker glasses."

He's finished with another detonator, the last one, so he starts heading back to the hogtied security guard, hoisting him up onto Wade's shoulders, fireman style, "Thor, what have you been eating? Haven't you ever heard of Dr. Bernstein's? No? Well, look into it. How are you supposed to stop a mercenary like me while carrying around 80 pounds of fat on you? Don't do it for me, or the job. Joe, can I call you Joe? I'm going to call you Joe." The security guard's nametag says Steve. "Joe, do it for yourself. You can do it. I believe in you."


The fact that the stadium was empty aside from the tour group she had moved through made things far easier for Rachel.

Deadpool stood out like a sore thumb to her powers without thousands of other minds to dilute her search and she quickly triangulated his location with Spearhead's giving the other man directions telepathically, "~Head straight down the hallway you're in and then turn left at the T Junction. He's about 15 meters down that way with someone else, be fast. I'll meet you soon.~"

Smiling, she began to show an illusion to the tour group, a young man running inside and crying out loudly, "The Justice League: Avengers are signing autographs outside with the New york Yankees!"

There is pandemonium for a moment as the entire tour group and guide rush back the way they came.

Rachel continues through the stadium, picking the lock of a door and heading towards Deadpool and Spearhead.


Spearhead nods, and while he moves and gets a heavily modified AR-15 ready, so much so that it is no longer just semi-auto, it has a fire selector, with semi, burst, and full auto, he wonders if Rachel can pick up something like that; the nod, or the thought/neural impulses that go along with a nod. He slaps a specially marked clip into the AR, The ammo is similar to Simunition, a sort of real-gun paintball, that has the general characteristics of a normal bullet, except that it is, of course, non lethal, though it can do some damage. they are filled with a powerful sedative instead of paint, and a small amount of light projectiles to break the skin to make sure the payload is delivered. "~almost there…~" He lets Rachel know as he turns the last corner…


While Mikhail and Rachel dealt with navigating the stadium, dealing with tourists, Wade continued towards the parking lot, intending to put 'Joe' or Steve Onguene as he likes to call himself, into the Mini Cooper with the other 27 people he found today. "You know Joe, I like you. You're a good listener. You always have such great advice."

He turns a corner, walking by what looks like a football, or soccer, net. "Oh, yeah, I forgot, this is where New York City FC play too. Oh well, they'll find somewhere else to play. Now, where was I? Oh yeah, House of Cards, you gotta download that shit. It's the bomb. I know nobody calls it that anymore, but I'm going to bring it back."

Setting Joe down for a moment, Wade fishes into his uniform pockets, looking for some loose change, but no avail. "A Canadian quarter, some lint, a pen, a rabbit's foot, nope, nothing that an American vending machine would take." Then looking at his companion, who was still hogtied and gagged on the floor, "you got any change on you?"

When Joe nods in the affirmative, Wade starts looking through pockets. "Man, you got like seventy pockets in that uniform." So he picks up Joe and shakes him like a piggybank, "come on, let's see where that change is now." He listens carefully, and finds the change.

Then he carefully loads in the money to buy himself a Mars bar. "You want one, Joe?"


"~Continue straight down the hall and out into the parking garage. He should be right out there with, what appear to be some panicked individuals. Possibly Hostages.~" Rachel sends him a visual image of a nod briefly, showing that yes she did see when he nodded at her.

Of course, she wouldn't be engaging Deadpool just yet with Spearhead.

She was busy searching for the explosives that had been set using her powers once more to reach out and search for things out of the ordinary.

It wasn't hard for her to find the first explosive, which she quickly used her powers to explosively disassemble.

"~Good luck by the way Spearhead.~"


Spearhead makes a mental note of that, something to think about when in a waiting room or something…

Spearhead goes down the hall quite quickly, smashing the door to the parking garage open and sweeping the level. Seeing the clown-car-cramped Mini Cooper, and the man who must be the bomber, he tightens his aim and lets about 7 rounds fly from the full auto setting, walking in a half-crouch as he fires.


That iconic red and black mask is pulled up to the nose, revealing some serious skin problems. The wrapper on the Candy Bar is peeled back, making it look like a banana. Soon, the chocolate and nougat makes contact with the taste buds, and immediately, it is shot like a projectile. It spews fourth from the lips, a little saliva coating it, and flies through the air in slow motion, no, super slow motion. And is that the Chariots of Fire music in the background? Actually, it is.

Deadpool tries to get the taste out of his mouth, sticking his tongue out and uttering ews, icks, and similar comments. But his mobile was ringing, so he had to pick it up. He speaks in a feminine voice, "DP Inc., please hold." And then he begins to sing, " Guantanamera, guajira Guantanamera. Guantanamera, guajira Guantanamera. Yo soy un hombre sincero. De donde crece la… Deadpool here, and I just had this nasty, nasty thing that someone thought was a Mars bar. But enough about me, what can I do for you, whoever you are?"

But before he can really get into it, his phone gets shot. "Dude, DUDE, that was seriously uncool." And as if to prove his point, Wade pulls out his own guns, two of them, custom made, and starts firing. But best of all, he narrates with, "bang, bang bang, bang, bang bang, bang, bang, bang bang, bang, bang bang," and so on, pausing every couple of bangs, but yeah.


Spearhead pays the incoming fire no mind as it plinks off his Body-armour, and he kneels, putting the more heavily armoured shin forward as he switches firing mode to semi, and aims for the point between the neck and shoulder, and squeezes off 3 well aimed marksman shots. Other than this, nothing much from him, no sound, though, his gold mirrored visor glints menacingly.


30 Explosives?

Lucky for Rachel her powers had enough range to take care of them all from a distance, it was just finding each and every one of them.

Of course, when she was assured who Spearhead was fighting she couldn't help but sigh; it made sense there was 30 explosives now. This was Deadpool they were dealing with.

She remembered the aggravation he had caused her before and she frowned; of course, she had no idea whether the event had happened for Deadpool yet but she didn't care.

One by one, the explosives begin to disassemble with telekinetic energy as she heads towards the fight.

She transmits to Spearhead's mind, "~Make fun of his costume. Distract him. It's the only chance you have.~"


Upon seeing his bullets bounce off the armour, Deadpool reacts with an incredulous, "A wise guy, eh? Well, I know how to handle you." The guns are spun, and put into their holsters, and out come the twin katana. Most people don't fight with two katana. Instead, they fight with a katana and a wakizashi, but Deadpool thought it looked cool to have two katanas, and despite the weight, he figured out a fighting style based on them.

The well timed, well aimed shots, miss. Deadpool is pretty quick. They actually hit him, they just miss the intended target. He doesn't seem to mind. He was short three bullet holes. He looked all over his home, but he couldn't find them. So it's nice of Spearhead to find them for him.

Closing the distance, Deadpool swings his katanas, aiming to cut the weaponry with the razor sharp blades, sending out a few kicks, elbows, and even a headbut along the way. It's the headbut that gets him, "woah, Master Chief, you got lead in that helmet?" Staggering back, he shakes his head to clear the cobwebs, "so, what's your name? Bulkhead? Beachhead? I'm guessing something head? I'm right, aren't I? Yeah, you know I am. So come on sourpuss, tell Uncle Deadpool what to put on your tombstone. Which incidentally was an underrated film."

And in his best Val Kilmer voice, he adds, "I'm your huckleberry…" He even repeats the weird tick from the movie.


Spearhead remains silent for a bit, keeping what Rachel 'told' him in mind for a more opportune moment, right now, he had to dodge a pair of katanas, one of which he attempts to block with the gun, which, if legend is true, is then cleaved in two, and as he sees a moment when Deadpool is reeling from the head butt, he moves into his opponent, swinging the butt-end of the rifle at his head, while trying to jab the end of the barrel into the soft spot at the base of the neck on Deadpool's right side, and as he does, he nods, "Yea, and you took costume designs from that Spider guy, didn't you?"


Yankee Stadium had been saved without anyone ever knowing it was in danger.

Rachel Summers had cut off contact with Spearhead to let him focus on the fight and had used her powers to turn herself into a psychic shadow, flitting along the edges of the parking lot as she approached the fight.

As Deadpool comes in on Spearhead with his Katana's Rachel chooses this moment to act. She knew she wasn't a superior fighter to Deadpool, but she did have a lot more brain power.

Out of the shadows, from all directions two dozen Rachel Summers charge towards Deadpool; all of them holding a futuristic looking energy sword in their hands.

All of them are illusions, but one of them is holding a real energy weapon that can cut through the folded metal of Deadpool's katanas like it was a hot knife through butter.

From every angle, they press the attack on Deadpool, the actual energy blades slicing his twin katana blades in half; likely destroying a pair of historical artefacts in the process.

In the midst of the confusion, Rachel uses a gust of telekinetic energy with great force to psychically kick Deadpool in the nuts before calling out, "Wade Winston Wilson, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you don't stop this crap right now, I'll rewire your brain to make you think you're Wolverine. Do you really want that?"


"Oh no, my Go Yoshihiros!" Deadpool can't believe she just did that. Although they are 14th century, or were, one of them had an inscription added in December 1585. Apparently it belonged to Honami Kotoku. He must have been a big deal, back in the day. That one used to belong to the Inaba Clan before Deadpool appropriated it.

The other one was spared such graffiti. It was in pristine condition, just like the day Go Yoshihiro forged it. And that belonged to the Toda Clan. Rachel Summers just destroyed two national treasures of Japan. And though Deadpool has a teleporter, he doesn't have a time machine. He should get one. He'd happily take getting kicked in the nuts to save the swords. Oh wait, he did get kicked in the nuts.

It's weird. Wade has been hit in the head with the butt of a gun. He's been hit in the jewels. He's taken quite the beating, some of his costume ripping under the combined assault, but he just… takes it. He stands there, not really defending himself, getting beaten up.

And the strangest thing of all. He's not talking. He's not making jokes. He's… is that a damp spot in his mask? Yes, he's stopped talking, and his eyes are welling up with tears. That's so creepy.


Spearhead Takes a few steps back, drawing a pistol now, The ammo a type designed to be less than lethal, but not exactly as benign as the sedative simunition, "Ok, well, Now that things seem to be a little more under control, why are you planting explosives in the stadium?!" He says, holding the pistol steady on deadpools center-mass. A streak of blood now graces a part of his arm where armor was emitted somewhat, though still overlapped, for mobility. The Katana must have found it's way between the plates…


Rachel sighs in disbelief as Deadpool begins to cry, she lets Spearhead deal with him for now and uses her telekinesis to untie and ungag the captives. She of course, also wipes their memories of what has occurred here today.

While Deadpool was a dick, he was a Mutant dick.

She didn't want to see him in trouble or causing more trouble for mutants.

Looking at the severed swords, she shrugged her shoulders and grinned at Spearhead, "See? He's so upset about the possibility of becoming Wolverine he's crying."


"Why do farmers get up in the morning? Why does the kid in the Chinese sweat shop make iPods? Why does Donald Trump like to hear the sound of his own voice? For the money of course. Some guy offered me a truck load of money to destroy this stadium so he could rebuild it." Yeah, Deadpool just sold out his boss. But he didn't like the guy, so he has no problem with that.

Getting up, Deadpool clutches the pieces of his katanas, "damnit, do you have any idea how hard it is to get these? Especially without a set. It's like ten times harder. I wonder when the next flight to Japan is… oh yeah, I have a teleporter." But he doesn't teleport immediately. Maybe he wants to hang out a little. He's a weird one. But he most certainly is not a mutant. He just pretends to be one.


Rachel eyed Deadpool for a moment, no sympathy in her eyes, "I don't care how hard they were to get. That should teach you a lesson in not being a douche because bad things will happen to you."

Of course, Deadpool had been willing to destroy a stadium so she felt all things were even.

The young woman turned and began to leave, providing a convenient distraction with an illusion for Spearhead as well as Deadpool.

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