How to Get Kicked Out of a Movie Theater

May 12, 2015:

Fitz and Felicity try going on another date. This time, they find themselves ejected from a movie theater.

Midtown Movie Theater


NPCs: Moviegoers and the shift manager.


Mood Music: None.

Fade In…

It was agreed; they would see the newest smash science fiction hit out of Hollywood: 'The 804 Project'!

Leopold Fitz arrived at the theater not long ago, with plenty of time to spare. It's an early evening showing, and after securing two tickets, he turns back to the lobby, looking about for Felicity while texting her from his phone to let her know he's here and has the tickets.


Felicity arrives in a bit of a rush. Though she knows she's early, she wanted to be a bit earlier. Her phone is already out; apparently she got Fitz's text messages. Pushing through the doors, she scans the crowd and easily finds Fitz.

"Hi!" she greets with a grin. "If you got the tickets, that means I'll get the popcorn. Did you read any reviews of this? I heard they used a new IMax camera that's programed to read thousands of colors that apparently even humans can't see. It's, like, the mantis shrimp of cameras! I'd love to get my hands on something that has that sort of processing power."


"Oi! There you are." Fitz rushes over, waggling the tickets through the air. "They say this is the 'most realistic sci-fi since Gravity'. Which is bollocks, there was so much bull in the movie it made my head hurt as much as my ears dizzy. Oh, and, um, you look nice."

This, from the man who wore a bow tie to an early evening movie date.

Once their inside and seated, Fitz silences his phone just in time for that horrible 'No Cell Phones!' CGI after the previews. He slurps on his soda - a bit loudly, unfortunately - then settled back with a smug look on his face as the theater darkens.


"Really?" Felicity isn't a scientist - she's a computer specialist. While she knows enough about different sciences to speak about them capably, she grins. "Well, Gravity gave me the heebies. Floating through that much space? Vacuums are terrifying. Uh, that is, the vacuum of space. Not actual cleaning vacuums. Being afraid of those would be ridiculous. Unless you're scared of them for some reason, in which case I'm sure there's a good reason for that!"

Her nervous chatter pauses and she smiles at the compliment. "Thanks. I like your bowtie. I hear they're cool." Settling in her seat, she leans back, turning off her own phone as the theatre darkens. She's careful to make sure she holds the popcorn near the armrest so it's easy grabbing for both of them.


The film opens with a naked man in a test tube. The space station he's aboard is under attack, and after rummaging about for some lab clothes, he discovers his name to be 'Jacob Kale' by reading a medical chart.

"That's convenient. Amnesia?" Fitz murmurs to Felicity while grabbing some popcorn. "As if that isn't a set up for exposition later. Oh, and who names their protagonist after leaves? What, is he a fan of salad, or is this some kind of foreshadowing that he'll end up crispy as kale chips by the end?"

Cue epic space battle, complete with Hollywood's best CGI and explosions, alongside Matrix-style fisticuffs, as Kale breaks out of the evil space station with his would-be, rag tag hero rescuers.


Munching on popcorn, Felicity leans over so that they're able to whisper to each other all the better as the movie continues. "Maybe they're alluding to the fact that Soylent Green is people. At the end of this, everyone will be eating salads."

As for the amnesia, she grins. "Yeah, it's either for exposition or he's going to turn out to be the Jason Bourne of space. Maybe some sort of prince. Ten bucks says that he's going to end up in charge of everything by the end of this."

The space battle is met with an appropriate appreciation of explosions and fighting, though she shakes her head, "There shouldn't be explosions in space. There's no air for the fire!"


"Right??" Fitz's voice rises just a bit more than it should. "Okay, simulated atmosphere inside, that's fine. Limited burn to the explosives? Check. But the explosions? That's just not scientifically poss-"


Blushing, Fitz looks over his shoulder. "Sorry! Sorry." He glances toward Felicity, mollified.

The film slows down, exposition delivered about the good versus the evil, the heavy plight ahead. Soon enough, however, supporting characters begin to explain how interstellar travel takes place by portalling into another dimension, where time moves remarkably faster than it does in our realm.

Fitz is… clearly getting upset about this. He's biting his tongue for now, but an explosion seems imminent.


"I know!!" Felicity hisses, then glances at the annoyed movie goer behind them and back to Fitz. While a little embarrassed, she's also amused. Really, they should appreciate the knowledge they are giving them.

As the movie explains the science between travel, the blonde woman's eyes glance from the screen over to Fitz. It's not hard to tell that he's biting his tongue at how this supposedly realistic movie is handling something as hard to understand as interstellar travel.

Crossing her arm to hold the popcorn with her other hand, she uses the now free one to reach across the arm rest and his. Perhaps that will slow the scientific rage bubbling up.


The SHIELD engineer opens his mouth but bites his tongue, glancing to Felicity's hand. A proper distraction! Also, nerves. She has pretty nail polish. Fitz isn't sure just what to do, but fortunate favors the foolish; he takes her hand and holds it.

The group races into a region of space affected by a nearby anomaly, making the chase something of a cat and mouse, until the heroes discover an old, decommissioned jump node using good old fashioned mathematics and stellar cartography.

"Okay. That was good."

Then, the 'jump scene' happens, and it's more than Fitz can take. The outburst was inevitable. "Oh, that's bloody ridiculous!"


Felicity grins, glancing over her glasses at Fitz as he takes her hand. That's what date movies are for! Then, her attention is brought back to the screen. She's actually engrossed with the talk of mathematics and cartography, feeling the suspense of needing to finish the calculations before they're found.

In fact, she's so engrossed, that she's forgotten Fitz's inevitable outburst until it happens. She starts just slightly, a few pieces of popcorn bouncing out of the paper container. Then, she glances around them, gauging reactions. "Maaaybe we should see this later," she tells the scientist softly. "When it's less crowded." Otherwise they might be burned alive by patrons who want quiet in the movie theatre.



"Hey, shut up!"

Fitz winces as more than one patron yells at him this time. "Huh?" He looks over to Felicity, eyebrows rising. "Oh, no! No way!" He lowers his voice, leaning closer so that he can give her a proper whisper. "Never surrender, Felicity Smoak. What would Jacob Kale do?"

The film takes some time to illustrate the creepiness of its villains, before thrusting the heroes into an emergency landing at a mining colony near the edge of explored space. Gigantic terraforming devices are churning the atmosphere to make the moon breathable, and the exposition reveals that the moon's core density causes a stronger gravitational pull, making it a difficult place to live and work, beyond the filth and dritonium dust.

"I hate it when they make up elements," he murmurs, carefully and quietly to his date.


At the question what would Jacob Kale do, Felicity grins. "He would show up naked and do some pseudo-science," she whispers back. Properly convinced that they won't be thrown out and that it's more fun to be conspiratorially whispering back and forth about a blockbuster sci-fi hit, she leans over as well, making it easier speak in softer voices.

"Oh, you've never heard of dritonium? It's basically like unobtanium, but more common?" she quips to Fitz, putting on an accent that's intended to mock a hipster expression. "I don't mind it so much. I just hate when they show someone who clearly has no idea what they're talking about tries to explain what they're doing as they're hacking. They put all the emphasis on the easiest stuff to do!"


Felicity receives a friendly nudge in the ribs, paired with a mirthful grin.

As if on cue, the heroes' stereotypical, young and brainy computers specialist begins hacking something in the mining colony. To make matters worse, she's British, and her name is Jane Veston. Such terrible writing! Just as Felicity predicted, the computer hacking is… well, the kind of stuff that just doesn't make sense, especially in a future world with technology we haven't even dreamed up yet. She even mentions 'opening a socket' like she's gorram Chloe from 24.

With a very slow motion, Fitz rolls his head over toward Felicity, giving her one of 'those' looks. He's hung around Skye enough to know that this is NOT what real hacking is like.


As Jane Veston starts to talk, the grip Felicity has on Fitz's hand gets tighter. It's her turn to try and stay quiet. It's not working very well.

"There are no such things as sockets!!" she hisses to Fitz. "Really, if it was as easy to open a remoteline of communication from a single closed loop system as just socketing something, don't you think everyone would be doing it?! I mean, really, she's talking like she just opened a coding manual and picked out whatever had a long equation!" Her speech moves from whisper to a more normal talking voice as she goes.

"The vary foundation of what she's attempting is based on a flawed assumption that the other system even is running a python algorithm and that it can be easily adapted, which let me tell you, it is not." Blinking, she looks over at Fitz and then realizes not only is she too loud, but she is talking far more about how well she knows about doing illegal things like hacking into a secure government system. She blushes, her voice now much lower, whispering again, "That is. Theoretically."


Fitz nods his head along with Felicity, no longer interested in the film. It's just simply beneath him. He munches on popcorn and slurps at his soda while she goes on and on, snapping his fingers once and grunting his agreement in another instance.

What neither of them noticed was the two moviegoers who stormed out of the theatre on their way to find a manager.

"Exactly!" he blurts out. "I'd have to read the novel, but I bet the screenwriters dumbed things down so the average bloke can stomach it. We…"

Just then, Leo's eyes straypast Felicity, spotting the arrival of a man in a terrible bellhop's tuxedo, armed with a flashlight, a name tag reading 'Shift Manager', and a just-beyond-minimum-wage chip on his shoulder.

"Oh. Uh oh."

The manager reaches over and taps Felicity thrice on her shoulder.


When Fitz's eyes move past Felicity and she's tapped on the shoulder, she winces. "That's us about to be thrown out of the movie theatre, isn't it?" she asks Fitz with an embarrassed grimace.

Barely waiting for an answer, the blonde woman turns in her seat, smiling a sheepish smile, she asks the Shift Manager softly, "Er, is there a problem, officer?" He's not an officer, she knows, but she's never really been good in situations like this. Realizing this is really disastrous, she holds out the bag of popcorn to him as a peace offering. Because this guy can't get his fill of popcorn during his normal working hours.



As expected, that… didn't exactly work. The Shift Manager takes a step back, jerks his thumb twice toward the nearest theater exit, then folds his arms across his chest and chins up, all jerk-like, while smirking at the pair of geeks.

"Don't think he wants popcorn, 'Liss," quips Leo begrudgingly.

Unfolding his hand from Felicity's, Fitz rolls his eyes and reaches for his soda, before rising and moving into the lobby. He stops near the manager then, giving the slightly taller and decidedly younger kid a look. His wallet is produced, a SHIELD badge shown surreptitiously so that the manager is the only one who can see it. "Be careful who you eject from your theater, mate." A knowing smile, a wink, and a pat to the manager's shoulder is given before he leads Felicity out of the theater, holding his head high in spite of the applause coming from… well… pretty much everyone else.

The blushing only starts once they're free of the room, at which point, Fitz starts walking faster. "That… was… absolutely… horrifying." Then, a grin and a sideward glance. "Bet he'll be wetting his britches every time he checks his e-mail, though."


As the rest of the theatre applauds them getting kicked out, Felicity's face turns a bright red. She's not really good at hiding her emotions. Hiding her face behind the popcorn until they're out of the movie theatre, she turns to Fitz and keeps pace with his accelerated walk.

"We weren't that bad, were we?" she asks the SHIELD scientist, still blushing furiously. "I mean! Shouldn't they be grateful that we're essentially teaching them the truth behind how horrible the science was in that movie? They were lauding it as being good! What if people actually believed that?" That seems a fate worse than being kicked out of a movie theatre to Felicity.

"Some people just don't have any respect for science!" Then, she grins. "Though, really, I think we just did what was necessary. We did what Jacob Kale would do in that situation."


"I don't think so," answers Fitz. "I mean, I know they frown on it, but we weren't the only ones talking!" Either way, there's a part of him that feels equally justified at not standing for bad science. He lunged forward, pushes the door open, then turns around once he and Felicity are outside and straight up thumbs his nose at the theater.

"At least we have our popcorn and sodas," he offers, before turning and leading the way back to the midtown plaza. For a moment then, he stops, looks around at all of the lights, people, and fancy buildings. His expression softens, and for a few moments, he goes oddly quiet.


"Oh, and someone's phone totally went off during the spaceship battle. Why didn't they get thrown out?" Now that they're outside, Felicity's blush slowly starts to fade from her face. Now she's just going to think of reasons why they were unjustly ejected from a movie theatre. Otherwise she'll just get more embarrassed.

"We do! You know, I bet we could download that movie. While I don't exactly have movie theatre quality screen, we could just watch it on the couch. And, then we could really pull apart the science. Maybe even write a review!" She walks a few steps forward before she realizes that Fitz has stopped. Turning just slightly, she tilts her head and studies Fitz as he looks at the lights and people and fancy buildings. "What? I know downloading is bad, but we already paid for the movie. I'll delete it after we finish it. Promise," she says, unsure of why he's stopped.


"Oh, that's not it." Fitz looks back to Felicity with a smile. "You ever stop and just look around at it all?" He gestures about, then takes a few steps closer, coming up to Felicity's side and gesturing at the iconic structures. "Makes me realize why… you know… why we do what we do." He doesn't know Felicity well, but surely she ought to understand, given his job.

Reaching down, the engineer takes his date by the hand, fingers folding between hers, content to just look at it all for a few minutes.

Until his bloody phone buzzes in his pocket.

With a sigh, Fitz retrieves the phone and eyes an incoming message. "Oh. It's Simmons. Looks like some fellow science nerds are getting together at THINK. Wanna go?" He looks back to Felicity with a grin.

He's trying really hard not to think about a third date at someone's pad. With a couch. And take out food, and privacy, and probably some booze and… no, Fitz, don't think about it too hard, your head might explode.


Her head doesn't right itself as Felicity continues to watch Fitz just yet. Instead, a slow smile forms, appreciative and warm as she takes in her date and twines her fingers with his. Then, her eyes move away from him, up to the buildings and the streets and the people passing by them in a hurry to get where ever it is they are going.

"Well, why you do what you do. You work at a place that monitors people and events to save people. I work at a corporate company and help them turn their computers on and off." Even as she speaks, her tone is fond. She pauses, eyes catching on a particularly beautiful piece of architecture. "It's a good reason to do that, though."

The moment is broken, but it doesn't seem to have spoiled Felicity's mood. "Sure! That sounds like fun. I've heard about THINK. I've been dying to get a peek at their mainframes. I'm sure a place like that has got all the cutting edge technology." If she's aware that she's created some sort of inner struggle for Fitz by suggesting their third date be spent in, well, she's not showing it. It's more than likely she has no idea.


"That is a good reason," Fitz agrees. After all, if people's computers couldn't turn off and on, there would be… utter pandemonium.

When Felicity agrees, he beams. "Great! Now, let me show you my SHIELD certified cab-hailing skills."

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