Portrayed by Ryan Rodney Reynolds
Full Name Wade Winston Wilson
Age 35
Height 6'2'
Build Ryan Reynolds-y
Eyes Brown
Hair Bald
Skin Caucancerousian
Factions Deadpool, Inc., Brand X, Disney, FOX, Marvel




Born on the distant planet of Poolyakayaka, I was prophesied to be the one that brought down the utopian paradise of injustice. So the pack of wolves that raised me sent me down to this planet called Earth in a space ship shaped like a giant Crunch Berry. I crash landed in Mystic Falls, where I was bitten by a radioactive vampire the moment I broke free from my delicious crispy shell. It took me a few years but I soon found out that I had CANCER OF THE EVERYTHING. And I was totally going to die. Uh. Lame.

Luckily, I bought some lemonade from Alex and was taken to a TOP SECRET facility located on Google Maps. There I was put into some very special treatment that my HMO refused to cover (cheap bastards!) and I was given the Power To HEAL! AMEN! PRAISE DOPINDER! Along with other augmented abilities (+Abilities Justification), I was thrown into training with a ninja rat who taught me how to fight (+Abilities Justification) and a cardboard box that taught me everything I needed to know about being THE PERFECT SOLDIER AND SPY (+Abilities Justification). Little did they know that tragedy would strike. Right in the balls!

Attempting to prove my worth, I went on a solo mission to Uncharted territories and played a few different radio stations three times. As I attempted to infiltrate ComiCon, I was ambushed (!) and forced to watch marathons of Jerseylicious. Before I could escape, I went completely crazy and turned my doctor into my delectable sidekick: Pooly Quinn.

On the road again, I had many adventures with many creatures great and small. Unable to return to the Girl Scouts that cured me, I sought my own path. I used my talent at playing Call of Duty to get a desk job at the local post office, where I was trained to be an assassin of the highest order. Since then, I've been hiring myself out to the highest bidder and offering my vast multitude of services.

And that's why they call me the Merc With A Mouth!



Character Details

Get Busy!

Everybody's talking all this stuff about me.
Why don't they just let me live?
I don't need permission, make my own decisions.
That's my prerogative.

They say I'm crazy.
I really don't care.
That's my prerogative.
They say I'm nasty.
But I don't give a damn.
Killing you is how I live.
Some ask me questions. Why am I so real?
But they don't understand me. Or really don't know the deal.
About a psycho, trying hard to murder right.
Not long to go, before I win this fight! Sing!

Everybody's talking all this stuff about me.
Why don't they just let me live?
I don't need permission, make my own decisions.
That's my prerogative.

It's my perogative.
Choose the way that I wanna' kill.
It's my perogative.
I can kill who I wanna' kill.
It's my prerogative.
No one can tell me what to do.
It's my prerogative.
Unless they hire me to do it to you…


Image Real Name Code Name Relation Notes
Eleanor Camacho Ellie Belly My Reason For Living "Ellie's the greatest thing that's happened to me. Ever. In life. Or death. Or any of my comic books. Listen, I know that I don't even deserve to have this little cutie patootie in my life but if there's anyone I'm going to do right by, it's her. MARK MY WORDS! HEAR ME ROAR! Etc."
Wade Winston Wilson

Ryan Rodney Reynolds
Deadpool ME! "So uh… Hi! I'm Deadpool. I'll be the character you're researching right now due to wanting to interact, have hot sexy timez or even just BATTOL to the DEATH. Which, honestly, I'd be fine with. I haven't seen her in MONTHS. You'd be doing me a favor. Seriously. Kill me. Please. What was I saying? Oh! Yeah! So uh… there's going to be a lot of crazy shit going on when you're in a scene with me. Especially scenes done over G-Docs. I get really insane when I give my ol' ZoCal time to think. But yeah. That's about it. Go see my new movie! Adios, Trendos!"
Neil Patrick Harris Yellow Text Voice In Head "So this is one of the voices in my head. Some say it's my deepest impulses. Some say it's just craziness. It's usually a yellow box but that's too complicated to recreate in a MU* environment so he might just get ansi'd. Who knows! Either way, it'll be hilarious AF! Who knew NPH would work so cheap?"
Chris Parnell The Narrator Omnipotent Voice "So this is Chris Parnell, guys. He's amazing on Archer. Gun to his head, he's decided to help me out and be the equivalent to my white boxes. I don't know if this is actually Madcap up to his bullshit tricks or not but whatever. He's the one that helps the story progress because I like to get sidetracked. Like that time I did a Family Guy bit and talked about something completely unrelated to the scene in question for least nine poses…"
Donald Glover Alonzo Calrissian Player's Voice "So this idiot that got approved to take my life for a spin on CoMUX considers himself to be my player. And so he's the one typing everything, including this. Still, we've got a pretty good relationship. SO FAR. He hasn't made me do anything too stupid and I haven't shot him in the face. It works! Don't ask me why he picked Donald Glover for a visual representation of his personality. He's not as cool as Childish Gambino is. And never will be. Dumbass."
Althea Sexypants Blind Al Roommate From Hell "Althea is the broken wind beneath my wings. Blind as a bat and badass as batman. Our living arrangement is pretty simple. We live wherever we can arrange it. I guess you could say she's fills my wise old mentor trope with her trollop ways. Her greatness and only weakness seems to be IKEA furniture. Which is understandable. Fuck IKEA."
Jacqueline Hammor Weasel Sidekick-At-Arms "Weasel is a cowardly loyal as fuck piece of crap that has no idea what I'm going through but is down to help me fight the bad fight anyway. He gives me information, guns, a headache and free drinks. I kinda' screwed him over when I became INVINCIBLE but he's still the closest thing I've got to a friend. Oh Weasel, WHY CAN'T I QUIT YOU?!"
Dopinder The Taxi Driver DP, Inc.'s Official Driver "Me and Dopinder go back like twelve Christmases. Ever since I showed him the light he's been part of my Crew. We hang. He drives me around. And I give him Crisp High Fives. Hopefully, I'll get to be his Maid of Honor when he gets married. It's my turn to say yes to the bridesmaid's dress!"
Bob Bob: Agent of HYDRA Sidekickery "This is Bob. He works for HYDRA. And me. We have a very awesome relationship where he does everything I need him to do and I sometimes make sure he doesn't die. I don't know if Bob has any skills but he did manage to join HYDRA so… that has to count for something, right?"
See Kickass Codename. NEGASONIC TEENAGE WARHEAD Badass Millennial Mutant "Her name is Negasonic Teenage Warhead. What the fuck else do you need to know?"
Ummm… Margot Robbie?

Deady's Li'l Monster?

Supah Hawt Fiyah?
Harley Quinn Hottest Clown In The World "I GOT THE DIGIIIIIIIITS!"
Phil Coulson The Agent S.H.I.E.L.D. Liaison & Risk Rival "Philly Boy's my BOY! We go so far back that I don't even remember which issue or log it's in. But I do remember that we were playing Risk and he cheated because I am the best Risk player of all time. Or maybe it was Monopoly. Trouble? Sorry! I can't remember but this whole spiel reminds me of a Mouse Trap. Anyway, Philonious Monk made sure to give me the best advice I didn't listen to when he told me: 'Don't Wake Daddy' and I haven't. Not since my Life has become all Chutes and Ladders. Anyway, when I find out who killed him ICly, somebody's going to pay. And I don't accept checks."
Michigan J. Raccoon Rocket Violence Related Crush "This dude loves guns as much as I do. He's got guns bigger than him! Or at least the size of Li'l Bow Wow. This potent rodent is full of explosive surprises. I wonder if he's single. Hell, I wonder if I'm into raccoons."

Dramatic Pause.

"Yup. I'm into raccoons."
Grootidiah Jenkins He Is Groot Tree of Awesome "… I'm officially a tree hugger now."
Brandon "Brand" Walsh Cable Future Crush "OMG. BBQ. WTF. SO HOT. SO CUTE. Definitely reminds of me the older brother on The Goonies so I guess that makes me Corey Feldman. Whatever. We're going to make a lot of death babies together. And by that I mean, kill people."

Nom De Replay

So, at the end of last year, my Player took up my Mantle and things were going slow but smooth. Then the dumbass didn't get his LOG IN and I was pulled from his lukewarm embrace. Some things happened while in the hands of Another but I have been pulled back into the unloving, one-sided relationship with Alonzo Calrissian and together we will fight for our right to write! Or something like that. I forgot where I was going with this.

Do you want me to tell them?

Have at thee! I'm already bored.

As of May 1, 2018 - Deadpool is re-played by Alonzo Calrissian.

See, you're so much better at that bland shit than I am. Cheerio!

Musical Chairs


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